Sunday, July 26, 2009

Reasons - Why My Ex-Wife Left Me... Part One.

I just realised whatever font I put on as I write, it'll only get overwritten by the preset (which I believe is Tahoma?).

Oh, I'm going to be an arse to your pixel-absorbing eyes. I've thought of a series of blog postings that will end when I actually have a social life. If you haven't guessed yet, they'll be called 'Reasons'.

As you can guess, this first post will be all about the acheivements I, er.... well... achieved... in the past couple of days...

Point One - (se)X Box 360.

Yeah, it's the first point. Why, I hear your online-telepathy skills cry? Well, the first thing is that I meantioned 'achievements' in a sentence or two ago. Secondly, I've been on it much more than I have during school terms. Thridly, I've kinda gone overboard with Guitar Hero. Next point.

Point Two - Guitar Zero.

Yeah, I'm as imaginative with point names as I am with begining of sentences for the points. Anyways, today I completed Guitar Hero: Smash Hits on guitar. Yes, to add to the sadness, it was on expert. In addition, and the (sadly) high point of my day, I completed Raining Blood (by Slayer) AND Through The Fire And Flames (DragonForce-ery) on Expert. Fuck aye and a packet o' crisps. That might mean I have a good chance of doing those songs on Guitar Hero III, once I have a playable disk. But I'll be honest, the versions of Raining Blood and ...Fire And Flames are easier on GH:Smash Hits than on it's older brother. So, is that a hollow victory for me? Knowing not only that I completed them both (four and three stars to their respected songs) on Expert, but the fact that all my friends and everyone reading this will think I'm a sad child with no life?

Now, I believe you're getting why my blog post name is what it is...

Point Three - Breaking News.

If your wondering why it's called that. Let me tell you a little story. You know all about my work experience with ProMo Cymru, right? And that weekend up in Llangollen or some place like that (I'm not being funny when I say that, I just keep forgetting if it's Llangollen, Llandudno or some other place that starts with Llan)? Well, on the final night, we had a task. Y'know the one, when you have to make a parachute thing to help make an egg fall from a great height without it breaking.

All we had ('cause we were in groups, I had a good group, to be fair) was an egg (obvliously), some straws, sticky tape, newspaper, two balloons and the bag that held them all in. I had the odd thaught of sticking the egg into one of the balloons. Someone else thought about sticking the egg-balloon into another balloon. Then someone else thought about the whole interior design of the bag (it was lovely, we had a feature wall and everything). Then, before the drops, we had to think of a name. and bare in mind, during the last workshop all I did was doodle on a peice of paper and think of a shaite opening line for the 'seeking work' section for the Clic website (if you must know, it was 'The journey to your dream job begins with a failed application form'... yeah, it's shaite, I know). They boys who I was in the eggscapade (get it? Escapade? Is that even a proper word?) was thinking of some names, can't remember any really. Maybe 'Da Bomb' was one of them. I just looked at the contraption that we made, and had one thought...

'That's the reason my ex-wife left me'.

They laughed. At me, I guess. Don't blame them.

But, they went with it. And needless to say, the beast was stunned (er... got all Tenacious D on you then...) when we realised our egg was free to become my breakfast on a plate and not on the pavement (I joke, I joke. There weren't any pavements where we were really).

Point Four - On The Road Again...

The last thing to add to this 'Reasons...' post. Recently all I can think of when I try to think of an original riff on the guitar (or bass, don't forget that beast) could be classed as 'middle-of-the-road'. Y'know the type, the type of music Take That or Westlife would write...

Actually, I'll take the Westlife thing back, they don't write anything, all they do is sit on seats, singing. But, you have to give it to them, once the key change comes into play, they do make an impressive move from the seats. But forget Westlife... I wish I could...

But anyways, I just can't seem to get rid of this thing. And no, I don't mean Westlife. Actually, I do, kind of. 'Cause I want to write (good) rock songs, be that grunge, punk, bluesy, or (if it's possible) funk/soul rock. I'm not bothered writing solos, just good riffs that people might (at the least) think is 'not bad, for a beginner'. The only problem is, two or three of the riffs I have made up have this hippie-punk fusion to it, if you know what I mean. I can't write slow songs, and when I do they have a bad dose of Take That-ititus. Any blues riff I think of just sound like a pile of shaite. Er, I think I'm struggling. I may create a new MySpace to show people my 'creations', just because I want to have some feedback on what people like/dislike of my midi babies, and/or for people to hear what I've done, and write lyrics for them (I'd be so luck). I won't make a proper profile though. I'll wait until I actually start a band that'll make some music. Which will hopefully be before I leave secondary education for good. =).

Well, that shall be it for the time being. If you have been offended by anything in this post, then be offended. =). Trust me, there's worse things to bitch about than a simpleton blogging his way to certain critisism for more than his spelling mistakes.

- Fin. =).

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