Killing In The Name

I was going to write a blog post about my first few days of my second placement, but I forgot.

I then wanted to write a post about how I wished that life had an RPG aspect to it, so you could measure how good you are at stuff just by looking at your stats, but something else has come up which is, to me at least, more important.

I've been thinking for a while now, and I'm wondering about killing some stuff from my life, either forever or just for the time being.

The first part is the CLICvlog project. I'm in two minds with this, as it feels like there's no point continuing with it. It was only there as a means for me to pass my second year in university. Now, a year later, it just seems kind of pointless to continue. I don't have as much time as I dod to continue with it, and it seems that all it brings now is just shit.

So, for at least the time being, CLICvlogger is no more. And if I can't find any reason to revive it, CLICvlogger is dead.

The other thing, which might not be as immediate as the demise of CLICvlogger, is that I'm considering  either deactivating my social media accounts, or only using them as a means of private communication with people who I usually talk to.

Oh, and on a Wicid point of view, I've decided that I'm no longer an editorial team member. Again, many reasons, none that I'll share here. But on the eve of my fourth anniversary of being involved with Clic, I've sent an email saying I'm no longer going to be part of Wicid's editorial.

There are many reasons why I've been thinking this. Reasons, reasons, reasons. The main one is that I just don't care about it all anymore. Facebook's just a pool of people who just try to convince themselves that they are whatever they delude themselves to be. Most of Twitter just seems filled with attention seekers and men faking kindness just to get attention from women.

But yeah, this is what has been going through my mind these past few weeks. Some thing needs to be changed, whether it's small or large.  I'm not completely sure if these will work, but it doesn't matter, that's life, eh?

- FIN you, I won't do what you tell me.

Half Way There

Yesterday was the beginning of the end of my work placement.

I've finished in my first half of my placement, and when I go back in January I'll be starting again in new surroundings.

Well, not completely starting again. I'll still (probably) be working on the same projects as I have been these past few months, and I do know most of the people who I'll be working with next year, but you get the idea.

Anyway, my last day was yesterday, which was another failed doomsday prediction. I now have a few weeks of doing absolutely nothing. No more edit this or render that or stop doing that, you're doing it wrong, you need to do it like this, yadda yadda yadda. Nah, I'm joking, nobody was like that. I think.

Anynoodles, for the first time in about six or so months (give or take a few days for being ill and that), I'm not going to be doing work for someone else. If I do anything, it would be for my own benefit, my own experience.

And to be completely honest, it's like my mind's in two places about it.

I planned to do something productive during my two or so weeks off. If you're not one to read things on other websites, I basically challenged myself to create things using After Effects as the main programme.

I kept thinking that I could give myself like extra challenges in it, like in one piece I would forbid myself for using any form of 3D layers, and maybe one where I'm not allowed to pre-comp layers, and a God mode, where I need to do an animation using Comic Sans and make it look professional. And considering I can't make anything professional, that's going to be one challenge and four halves.

But the thing is, it's like my mind can't think for itself, but at the same time it wants to be active.

I'm not one of these people who has a rest. I rather hate it when I have nothing to do, because it feels like all I would do if I do nothing is rot inside. If I don't have work to do or exams to study for, I just feel like I'm wasting time. Time, and my mind.

What lovely thoughts I have.

So, the first day in my Christmas and New Year holidays, and I'm already wishing that I'd be back in work on the Monday.

It's the same every year, and I say so each year. And I do absolutely fuck all to combat it each year. Why? I have absolutely no clue whatsoever. Maybe because I have no idea how to. Maybe it's because I just have an inherit feeling in my head that whatever I try to do, I'd just fuck it up somehow.

And yes, I'm perfectly aware of the saying "the only ones who truly fail are those who don't try" or whatever it's called.

I'm not saying it's true, mind. I'm just thinking of possibilities.

Anyway, that's if for now.

- Kill Bill Vol. 2 just finished, so I suppose it's an optimal time for me to write FIN at the same time, eh? No, didn't think so.

Come Clarity

Do you ever just wish you can turn your brain off?

And no, I don't mean kill your brain.

Spoiler warning - I'm going to sound like some hideously pathetic child in this post. Another spoiler warning - I'm probably not going to make sense. What joy.

About two days ago, I was doing something. It doesn't really matter what I was doing: I could have been just playing around on the computer, I could have been arm wrestling baby chickens. All that matters is that I was doing something.

When I was doing something, I was thinking about stuff. Nothing major, probably just thinking about the thing I was doing.

But then, because I was thinking, my thoughts began to go into a different direction. My thoughts went from whatever menial task that I was doing, to thoughts about how I'm doing shit at what I was doing, which in turn made me think about the past, either about what I did or what I didn't do. Then, I thought about how my life would have changed now if I made different decisions back in the day, then thoughts came about how I'm going to die in the future, which made me think about the whole Mayan prophecy bullshit.

And that's how I ended up watching videos from a NASA scientist and reading things that explained why the whole December 21st 2012 thing was a hoax.

Off topic, but I don't believe in it. I just despise the fact that people both make doomsday predictions and believe them. I mean, we're humans living on the knife edge of existence as it is, it's a miracle how we're still alive as a species. So, if that's the case, why do people not celebrate life and its diversity and instead wonder on how it will end?

Ah, the world's kind of fucked up.

Anyway. It took about two hours for me to be doing things and thinking about what I was doing to reading about 2012. It took me two more hours or so to stop looking into it. It ended in me saying fuck it and putting my Mac down to just try to not think, which didn't work, so I just played a bit of Pokemon.

It was the same today. I was in work, looking for things to do, but then I started to feel weird. Not ill, not anything emotional either, just... weird. I then thought that I'd read some technology news to try to stop me thinking, which then landed me in a pile of news about the Census and the Welsh language, which made me think about my use of the Welsh language, then after more thinking about more idiotic things I ended on the subject of my friends, thinking about different things like who do I really consider a friend, and if in turn they consider me as one.

Now, it may come as a surprise to you, but I've been told that I think too much. Seems as if people don't understand why I think too much. Which is fair enough, since they don't think the same as I do.

Ever since I was young, I was thinking. Maybe not to the degree I am now, but I was thinking. I'm not saying I was an amateur theologist or whatever, contemplating life's wonders and shit like that. It's just that, when you're not from a well-off family and not a social butterfly, the only real way to keep your brain active is by thinking, whether it's making up scenes or just thinking about how others may perceive you.

I've also been told by a few that I need to stop thinking, to stop over-analyzing little things. But I have no idea how. It's like my brain hates inactivity, all it wants to do is work, whether that is thinking about tasks, mathematical and scientific questions, memorising things or just plain thinking about my life and how it affects everyone else's.

I honestly have no idea what I was trying to accomplish with this post. Maybe I'm just trying to figure out myself, to wonder why I've become such an arsewipe of a person.

Before I go, I'd like to share a song. It's only in the past two months that I've rediscovered In Flames. When in work, I decided to play their songs while setting up a photography shoot, and I fell in love with their songs. In particular, this one.



That's it for now.

- I want you to lead me, take me somewhere, don't want to live in a FIN one more day.

Turn Of The Century (And A Half)

For those who are counting, this is my 150th blog post.

150 blog posts in five years. Not sure that's a good or bad thing.

One thing I'm also unsure if it's good or not is that I'm getting back into Guitar Hero. I used to play that to death back in the day. I even wrote on the wall next to my television the scores I had when playing certain songs, mainly Free Bird in II and Through The Fire And Flames in III (both on Expert, but the latter one on practice mode, I could never get past the first section).

It was like my way of competing with myself. I only just manage to five star Free Bird once, Always did the same thing when I played on III - Played Talk Dirty To Me and other songs to warm up, then try to FC Reptilia and other songs before I try and beat my old scores in the harder tiers.

And you wonder why I've been single all my life...

I still remember the path of Talk Dirty To Me. I played that song to death, that and Knights Of Cydonia and My Name Is Jonas.

Well, I suppose it'll be a good thing that I'm getting back into Guitar Hero. I'll need to do something to keep me occupied when it's Christmas. Because, y'know, I just do the same thing as always, stay in doing fuck all. Maybe this year, I'll actually create something in After Effects. Maybe I might skin a cat, or . Nothing is impossible. Well, maybe the After Effects thing is for me...

In other news, I've had my first credit for work I've done. In this thing I've been working on for the last couple of whiles, I'm down as the Compositor and Motion Graphics person. Which is, y'know, the things I did for it. So yeah, my name is down as a credit for something. Suppose it's a good thing.

Another thing is that I've let CLICvlog slide. There are many reasons for this. One is that there hasn't been a time where I could meet up with people to film one. The other is that I just haven't had the motivation to film and edit them.

It's not that I don't want to do the project anymore, because I do want to keep it alive. I just seem to be consumed by utter shit sometimes. Yeah, like that makes sense.

That's it really. The only other things that I've learned is that the Welsh apparently use "goc oen" as an insult and I can only look at photos of myself if I don't look straight into the camera. Makes perfect sense, that. Oh, and I feel taller after I play the drums.

And that, as that old man from Final Fantasy X say that they say, is that.

Am y tro, boyos.

- Every time I look in your eyes, every time I'm watching you FIN.

Misconception

Yey, I spelled a long word.

So yeah, it seems like my last post is a catalyst in all but name... and meaning. But meh.

Yesterday, a word that would win you a round in Countdown, saw the dawn of a new age for me. Yes, my drums arrived. I would stick a photo up of them here for your eyes to gaze upon, but then again, you'll probably just look at it and think Jees Ga, it's just a drum kit... so to compensate, here is another image for your eyes to absorb...






Yes, I do go on that site nearly everyday...

Anyways, considering I ordered the drums last Thursday, it took three working days to get here (they said it might take between three to seven working days). Not bad for the Germans, eh? I forgot to name the drum kit I ordered. It's the Millennium MPS-600 Kit. Three cymbals (one of them works as the hi-hat), one ride cymbal, four toms, a snare and a bass pad. Yeah. I also bought the double bass pedal, which is lucky since the bass pedal that came with the kit isn't the best one. Anyways, it's a decent kit, well worth the 650 euros (the drums bundle themselves were 555 euros and the double bass pedal was 95 euros). Yeah... sorry if that's not in your interests...

In other, more thought provoking lines, I saw a television advert. That wasn't the thought provoking thing, but what it had on it, was the thing. On the advert, or whatever it was, there was a question on it. What's your angle?, Okay, it was a fishing reference, but it got me thinking. What's my angle, my purpose in things, in life? Yeah, I do think too much, don't I?

Since it's going on for eight now, I shall break it down a bit now (Ahem... SoundCloud... =]...).

First of, in life. One, I'm an eighteen year old man-boy thing, who is most probably on the anti-social side of the spectrum. No job. No real prospects as of yet. No real talents that amazes others. So on the basics, I'm on the wrong angle. But yeah, at least I'll be sober enough to see my life out and have a clear mind on all decisions I take. Think what you will, but I think that's a positive. Not smoking's another one... I'll be honest I've just completely forgotten what I was going to write, so I shall stop here and allow the thoughts to arrive back on another day.

I will leave you now. I'm going to have a bang on me drums. =].

- FIN the FINing FINners...

Paparazzi In A Box

Excuse the shaite title.

Because I've had a wierd song in my head for the last few hours. I shall tell you this thaught. Let me know what you think.

First off, and don't judge me here if you ain't a fan of 'em, I've had the chorus of Paparazzi by Lady Gaga in my head. No idea why, it's just stuck, not bad considering I've only heard it like three times. But, I heard it differently...

I shall tells you what I mean, like. Genuine.

I heard the lyrics from the song, but heard it to totally different music. The band, Alice In Chains, braught out the song Man In The Box. It's a good'un, apart from some part seem a bit off, but meh. The chorus section of that song (which, you can YouTube. I've tried to find a decent one but they are either terrible, cheesy or a Rock Band thing).

So yeah, I'm singing Lady Gaga songs to Grunge music. Normal?


Also, this...



Staying on the musical line of fire (see what I did there? Class). I've (kinda) learned another Beatles song (yey) on guitar. Drive My Car, baby. It's a funky song. Also, I buggered up at a section and found a new riff. Fuck aye.

On other news. There is no other news.

Happy days.

Well, it would be if the pissing snow would stop during the week and only come during the holidays.

Smilie face.

- F-F-F-F-Fin.

Enter Sandman.

This isn't a post of any significance really. It's like ten to midnight, and I should be getting to sleep soon.

Luckily, it's a Friday, and I don't have to wake up early for school tomorrow.

Mozzeltoff.

So, as I type up this post, BBC2's unleashing its boredom onto me. And I'm passing on my boredom to you. Ah, c'est la vie...

So yeah, there's been a few parties that I've had the fortune to miss and the misfortune to listen to how 'epic that nite waz'. By the by, most likely if I type in that textspeak and talk about partying... eleven times out of seven, it won't be me. Anykestril, as I typed (or said, whatever tickles your pickle), I've missed all of them. Woo. One person keeps nagging me about why. Maybe, just maybe, that there can be some people on this world who don't find slowly killing yourself while at the same time making a total arse of yourself not as orgasm-creating as others do. Also, how does the fact that I don't drink lower the chances of - and I quote - 'you getting vagina?'... So apparently, you have to get pissed to begin a relationship, it doesn't matter if the opposite sex likes you or not.... Ah, how pathetic that arguement is... and that's a mini-rant. Or Mint... if you will.

Talking about mints... I baught two packs o' SoftMints today. Well good.

So yeah, again my plague of writing songs too similar to well known songs has happened. I think I've said about the one that sounds like Hysteria by Muse. Now I've made one that sounds like the song I'm recording for Music Technology (that's Today by Smashing Pumpkins). Damn this brain.

But hey, I believe my bass skillage's improving. I can now play a handful of bass songs by Muse. Woop woop and an extra dosage of wehey for the road. The most recent song I've learned is Supermassive Black Hole. Yeah, it's not hard... comparing to other bass songs... but who cares? I'm getting better... I hope. =].

I really can't think of anything really.

Apart from kestrils.

No idea why.

I've got kestrils on the brain.

Ah well, must dash... I'm yawning like someone who yawns alot.

Oh, imaginative way to finish your post, Ga... What's next?

Er.... this...

-Finissimo.

Breaking The Habit.

Well, what do you think of my new look?

Bet you thaught you'd never see the day when my blog was white, eh?

Anyways, school tomorrow, all three lessons also. Luckily I've got third and fourth off, meaning I have three and a quarter hours to think about doing something remotely useful in my academic life.

But will I? Most probably not.

And why not? Maybe it is because I have that hateful trait of laziness. Ah, I dunno. Maybe I'll find myself suddenly having a burst of wonderous inspiration and doing something worthful. But, I doubt that'll happen.

So... nice day?

Sorry, I'm just trying to avoid going to sleep. 'Cause I know it'll take me about an hour to actually sleep, and in that time I would have played a few games of solitaire on my iPod and have had rather disturbing thaughts on life again.

And that's got me thinking... is that what midlife crisis are? Just having days of being shite-scared of what life has in store for you? In that case... I'll be dead before fourty. Hope not. Then again, I'd probably'd rather that than the whole watching the world swirl ever deeper into the pit of destruction it has built itself.

Shit... I promised myself I wouldn't talk about anything deep. So I'll leave it there for now. Carry on.

So yeah, have you realised that I usually post a blog late at night? At least this one's different... so far. But for some reason somethings just catch my eye and distract... Oh look... a squirell.

And on another note... this time it's G#...

- Fin.

It Started With A Kiss.

Er. Actually it started with a C power chord... but it didn't have the same pulling factor to get people to read the post. So if you've been fooled. HA!

Anyways. The first full week of school has been, went and taken 168 hours of my life. Felt like every Physics lesson with Humphreys added another three hours onto that. And Charlie's lessons added at least an hour also. So it felt more like 171 hours. But hey ho, lets go.

Finally, the Music Technology coursework's been published yesterday (that's friday to the people who could read this in the future). To be fair, it's not what I was hoping...

The first task, is (to put it simply) to recreate a song in midi form, matching both rhythms and sounds to the original. This time we've got a choice between Superfreak by Rick James or Heart Of Glass by Blondie. I've gone against the majority of the class and decided to do the Blondie song, simply because I like it more. Lovely. I'm just hoping that the song doesn't turn out as annoying as what Tainted Love (last year's coursework) ended up as (Living End's version of the song's my favorate version. Especially with that bass).

Task number two, is basically a carbon copy of what last year's was. This time we have to record a performance of a song that lasts between three and five minutes. I'm toying around with the thaught of playing with this song... and this time, I've embedded the video into my blog. Go me.



I'm sorry that it's a Guitar Hero one. And no, it's not me playing it. I can get 100% on this song, and is it just me or this version (amercain) is different to the European one? I just remember it differently, well that might be because it's on Rock Band 2 as wel. Ah well, at least this shows what the song is. I would've stuck the original music videeo, but the only one I can find didn't let me embed it. Any-enter-something-funny-by-here, about Music Tech. At least eight tracks have to be recorded using microphones, with at least twelve tracks overall. Four of the eight microphone tracks have to be either orchestral/acoustic instruments or percussion. So I've gone with the acoustic one...

And, if you've heard the song before, there aren't really any acoustic intruments there. That's where the joys of changing clean electric guitars to acoustic guitars come in. One down, three to go. Then an idea came into my head, what about either a piano or a harp for the intro? So that's what I'm going to do, the harp for the intro riff, with the piano doing the thing in the second verse part. So that leaves me with one track in need of acoustic fillage. If using acoustic drums are acceptable, then I'm fine, but I doubt that'll work. So, the only thing I can think of is a fidle-type intrument to play the same notes as the bass while the piano does it's thing. Woop, four instruments elegible for the song. Joy.

Oh, rambled on a tad that last post, sorry for that.

The last task is basically a composition task. We have a choice of three briefs this year, but that's another story. Ahem. The first one is basically do six short songs (or shongs) for a cartoon. The second one's basically compose music for a piece of poetry (which they chose a rather emo one, regretably), while the third one is to use samples to potray your feelings towards Obama's presidency. I've gone with the second one. Which, everyone in the class'll call me emo more often. I've actually got a vocal line for the song, only if we're allowed to change the order of the song. If not, I'm fucked.

End of rambling man. Ah, good link to my next part...

Yes.

Guitar Hero 5.

A thousand percent improvement on what World Tour is. Graphics have become more realistic, more sleek. Gameplay's roughly the same, but the charts seemed to have gotten more fun to play (Smells Like Teen Spirit and Song 2 are pretty funky to play when the volume's up). Even the randomness of Elton John and Marvin Gaye's addition to the setlist's added a nice alternative to the whole guitar-driven list. But the best feature (so far, I've only had it for a couple o' days), is the GHJam feature. Basically they've added backing tracks, and you can just go nuts on your instument, which I think is pretty cool. Maybe you could just have that looped while you jam to it on real guitar. Ah, how I bet you've missed Guitar Hero parts of my blogs...

But, talk about bullshit. Guitar Hero:Van Halen's coming out. I saw this offer. It's a good'un too. Basically, you get GH5, you get GH:Van Halen for free. That's fourty quid for two new games. Jesus! I instantly went to get the offer...

Until... I read the T&C's...

Good for US only.

WANKERS.

That's just bastardish.

Ah well, that's enough for Guitar Hero talk. I shall refrain from blogging about it for a while, hopefully.

So, that's the end of this post. I shall end the post with some wise words from the mouth of Frankie Boyle himself...

I'm not a dwarf, I'm a lesbian

- Fin.

Reasons... "Why" Is The Only Word With No Vowels.

I believe it is, anyways.

Y'know, the fact that all vowels are a, e, i, o and u, so technically, y's the other thing.

Oh, this is just so I can boost the 'Reasons...' group of posts. Sorry to deprive you for time...

Anyturnip. It's a Wednesday. Coincidently, tomorrow's a Thursday, and the begining of the week countdown to the first Parti Bondio of the year. Yeah, you've guessed that I'm not going to go.

There's no point really. I don't drink. Don't dance. So, in a party situation, I'm the broken pensil of the group. This is also the time I rather dread the fact that everyone'll talk about the party (well, next Friday, after the party happened). Y'know, most of the blokes will brag about how much booze they downed in two hours and still managed to headbang to S Club 7. Many other people just repeating the same phrases for the next four weeks... oh, I was sooooo drunk that night, or I hope there's another one soon, I wanna get pissed again. Them only being two of the infinite quotes from the people who went.

Laughing. A bit like this... AHAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS AN EPIC FAIL AFTER HE DRANK THAT CIDER. Or something along those lines. I'll be just looking around at different people, with a dim smile on my face, having no real interest on the goings on of the previous night...

Yeah... such a happy aura for this post.... anyways...

I'm not saying they shouldn't orginize these things. Nor am I trying to tell people how to lead their lives. I'm just going to say this, just because you've downed a bottlesworth of vodka, or someone tipped Guinness onto your brand new top that you baught specially for that night. And for the fact that I don't drink...

Come on... it's fun when you're drunk!!

Sorry, I can't see how being so pissed that you fall down on the pavement and sleep. Well yes, that doesn't really happen in these things, well not to my knowledge anyways. I simply cannot see how a beverage that destroys so many people in this world can make a night amazing. Maybe I'm being overdramatic in this subject (well, I can't think of a better word than overdramatic), but the only thing I can do, while the matter of alcahol is on the agenda, is think of all the negative scenes that are implanted in my head...

Y'know the ones... one person making a complete arse of themselves. While others are getting it on with people they've always detested (say, as an example, someone sees the closet gay ruthlessly snogging the well known male homaphobe). Not to mention some people who take it too far, and either get sent to the cells for the night, pass out or worse. Or, what I believe what I'll be if I ever had a drink, the extremely depressing drunk who drowns his thoughts and money.

'Cause, correct me if I'm worng, alcahol has a boosting effect on the body. And I know, that naturally, I'm more on the negative side than the positive. With alcahol, that negativeness will grow with every drink I consume. Also, there's been an image stuck in my head ever since I was young.

In that image, I saw myself. I had messy, short hair, while wearing old, scruffy clothes that looked like they were found in a skip (or baught in ASDA, up to you where like). Holes in my shoes, just sitting on a wooden stool, drinking the money I managed to get somehow. Basically, a total mess. I can't avoid this thaught. The more I think about it, the more detail is there, and the more hope I have that the image of such vomit-inducing nature will never be a reality. You're probably thinking that I have an odd way at looking at life. Well yeah, I do. And I'm glad I do. So I'm in the minority (in school, anyways) that doesn't want to drink. Joy to the world in the fact that there is a minority. If that sentence even makes sense.

Anyways, in other news. Muse's new album has been leaked online a week before its official release. But then again, I don't think there's any album these days that hasn't been leaked in one way or another. Either they've placed the full album on their site, forgeting that many know how to stream and save the audio files. Or someone's managed to get a copy of the CD, and shared it with the world. How much d'you want to bet Paramore's new album's going to be leaked online...

And lo and behold. Time has become the old enemy once more, and I must leave you with a riddle. What will happen when Pinocchio says my nose will grow?

Yeah...

- Fin. Ish.

Eight In A Row.

Lucky you.

This should be a short post.

Woop.

...

See you.











Nah, not really. It will be shorter. Well, in the amount of text there is compared to others. Anyways.

I've designed a website after looking at a tutorial on PSDTuts. So, enough text, here's the result.



So, what d'you think?

It's the first white design, as all of the others have been either black or a dark colour. Even though I've basically followed a tutorial on it, I'd like to think I could tweek it a tad more.

Nearly done. Yes, really.

Before I go, I'm with her on religion...


I'm out.

- Fin.

Who Wants To Be A Millionair? I Don't.

... Well, not now anyways.

Well, first post since placing my foot on the thirteenth step of schooldom (yeah, I should start calling it 'last year of school' instead). And it's my fourtieth post. In roughly a year. Man, that's not looking good for the size of this blog in ten years...

This time, my post title has something to do with my topic. In some place, a worker stole thirty quid out of the till. Everyone in my family's going 'oh no, such a shame! They should sack her'... and that sort of shizzle.

And I'm like...


And?

And now I expect you to look at me, and think I cannot believe you'd say such a thing? Do you want this type of thing to happen regulary? Is that what you want? Do you want workers, thieving stock and the day's takings and then going down the road to break into MY HOUSE to steal my collection of horses heads whilst violating my Midrid? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT??...

Well, not like that.... but I will say, Russell Howard is one of the best people there on Mack The Week....

I have a good reason for just thinking And?...

I don't know about you, but there's more to life than money. The warefare of others, like my Mildrid not being violated, is basically it, really. I thaught there'd be more to it. But since I've started writing this paragragh, it's just gone blank. It's like, money's turned into something that some people might think is more important than life itself. Yeah, money's important to buy enough food to eat, to repair the damage that's happened to your house and so on and so forth. But when you've gone so low as to steal money? Seriously?

It's like when you go overdrawn in the bank (okay. it's not really related, but it's true), by a mere three pounds. The bank will jump on that and slap another thirty quid for you to pay as a charge. I mean, WHY? You're (I'm talking to the bank people here) charging people when ,sometimes, they can't pay you back. What has humanity turned to, when someone makes their fellow men once they've gotten into a bit of trouble financially? Ah, fuck it... Well, that's what the bank's did...

But yeah, that's basically it really about that. Some money got thefted. I think that life's more important than money. Which the courts don't, like for murder you can get sentanced for like fifteen years. While bank robbery gets you over forty years inprisonment.

WHAT?

ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?


.....

Anymillenium, I'll get off the subject of money... well not totally...

And I shall start with one word... in bold.

FUCK AYE!!

Well, when I said it, it sounded like one word...

The bastardly bitchfest that goes by the bland name of Big Brother finally got it's bubble burst by Channel Four. I mean, it's a victory for the people who don't understand why stalking has become so publicised. Like, for ten years, some people didn't have to carry a ladder everywhere and climb it to watch some people they're never met sleep. We just had Big Brother for that. I've never understood why watching three people scream at eachother about the fact that one of them had the last pack of Wotsits was so watchable. Maybe I should post videos of myself, scratching my arse and talking to myself on YouTube. Would you find that exciting? Thaught not.

Whatev's.

Well, I should go. The X Factor's going to come on soo, and I have to think of things to do while it's on to avoid it.

Se you, dude.

- Fin.

And Here I Go Again...

Yeah, if you read the last post... when I said that I had an odd feeling to write something about death... well here it is. I'm going to open up the can-o'-beans that is my head. Lucky, lucky you. Lucky, lucky, lucky, lucky, clucky, clucky, cluck, cluck... er... sorry, I just remembered that scene from Blackadder III.

Anyways. Where to start...

Well, I remember I said something about it before, though it was mostly about religion, not death itself...

Well (again), I'm seventeen, going on eighteen (...shit)... and as I approach this milestone, I'm genuinely scared of what the future has in store with me. Not only that, as I'm sitting here, typing these words that will last much longer than I will (unless BlogSpot goes under administration), I realise, maybe more than others my age, of my mortality. The fact that I, one Gareth Aled John, will die. Even as I wrote that sencetence (and as I misspelled that word again), I don't want to accept it.

I mean, other's my age are care free, probably the only bad thing they think of is if they fail they're exams or if they won't get into university (yeah, both linked to me). With me, it's the little known fact that I will cease to exist in a matter of years, weeks, or even maybe seconds. Like, it's a guess, but when you were young (say, five, six, roughtly that age), you were playing around, saying stuff like 'I wanna live forever woooo' or something like that. Me? All I remember going was 'I don't want to die!'. Me, aged six, crying into my sister's arms, repeating the same five words over and over again. All that was about was the BBC News said the Solar System would end in a small hiccup, rather than it's big bang entry.

It's the same now. I was in bed, roughly twelve-ish. I was just lying there. It hit me that I wouldn't be here forever. I just panicked. Jumping out of bed, saying 'No. NO!'. And for some reason, I broke down slightly, shedding a few tears (which, I know, sounds pathetic). I tried to return to sleep, but everytime I closed my eyes for a few mere seconds made me fall I was getting closer to my final destination. So, I ended up watching the whole first series of Little Britain. Though, my tiredness had overridden my thaughts, thus making me sleep through Jeremy Kyle and my tea froze. Also it made my next three nights be a short sleep.

I know why I'm like this. Well, I think I know... it's like when I typed 'I, Gareth Aled John, will die', I just felt like I was a number. Nobody'll take notice at the fact that I would've met my maker (as a guess, I think it's Aldi). Or if people do notice, there'd be a few tears shed for the sake of the occasion. But there's nothing that'll put me in the future's mindset.

If that doesn't make sense, I'll try to make sense of it. It's like, look at everything around you. Your computer screen. Your top, socks, trousers. Your walls, your ceiling, your floor. Anything. Everything you've looked at. All that will last longer than you will. It's true. Well, most of it. I mean that cup of tea that I wasted didn't last longer than me, it went down the toilet, but the cup might. Anyways, that cupboard that's holding most of your belongings will be there, and maybe in some fifty years, there'd be a futuristic Antiques Roadshow, and that dude'll tell the antiques dealer 'oh, not sure who was the first owner is'. See? You'll be 'the first owner'. Some guy (or girl). A pile of skin and bones, wasting away whilst the memory of you disappeared by the time your grandchildren become grandparents. Then all you'd be is someone's great-great-great-great grandad. No-one'll remember your name. And I don't know about you, but I don't want that to happen. It might sound that I'm turning into some egotistical person, but I don't want to end up dead, with nothing to show for it.

Saying that, in my head it'l like a double edged sword. I want to be remembered in years after the inevitable (spelling?), but I don't want to become famous for it. I don't want to be in the mainstream, where everything I do, everyway I turn, is in the eyes of Big Brother and his ten cats. But, as I feel the reality of is seems to show me so harshly, it seems that the only way to even think of having a memory after death is to become famous. Take Marily Monroe. Would she have a long lasting memory if she didn't do the things she done? I don't know what exactly, I think she was an actress. But the mere fact that I know what she looks like, though I've never met her... it must show something about her impact of the world (well, not impact, y'know what I mean)...

Wuthering Heights is on ITV1 at the moment. Cathy's just died. Heathcliff found out and basically broke down. At least that's what I think's going on. Just to let you know.

Anyways. Since I won't be around when I die, I don't really know why I want to be remembered so badly when I go. Maybe I want to feel like I've done something worth remembering. And what have I done so far? Created a blog with thrity-six posts and participated in three cricket matches, in which I managed only five runs while batting, and three wickets while bowling. Oh, don't forget the whole 'took art for AS level and got kicked out of it when there was a week left until the coursework was supposed to be in by' thing. Oh, it must've been hilairious for some people when I finally got the shove. Ah well, who gives a shit.

Ah well... I should leave it there before I go nuts... but before I go... I have one question... what would Jesus do?...



Sorry, I love Outnumbered... =).

- Fin.

"I Walked All The Way To Bangor, But She Wasn't There..."

Er.... if you don't get the title, say it out loud... that's all I can say.

It was either that, or 'Needless Ensemenation'. Your choice....

Anyhill. Fiddle me this and riddle me that, I shall carry on like a failed writer, as I am... I mean, too many comma's in one sentance, if you ask me... also I've just notice I don't really know if you spell it 'sentance' or 'sentence'. Help much?...

Tonight's topics... oh yeah, it's the night. Go figure.

First topic. Football. I'm not really a fan of football, but I know a simple rule that is more true than Noah's Arc... Ahem. There's one rule in football. Fuck, any sport. That thing is this = 'long term consistancy equals success'.

What do I mean?

Take Cardiff and Swansea (football, now). Cardiff (I believe, I say again that I'm not an avid fan of football), have had the same manager and (more or less) the same coaching team for ages now, and so far this season they're doing rather good (I believe won every game?). Now, Swansea, under Martinez (name right?...), managed not only to gain promotion to the first league, but to end up at the top half in the first year in league one. Then, once Martinez left, so far this year they've been a bigger flop than a limp pornstar. Why? No long term consistency...

As much as I hate saying it... take Manchester United. Ferguson's been there for a shaite-long time, and where has it taken him? More silverwear than a magpie can handle. And take Scolari's time at Chelsea. Just because he didn't reach the expectations of the Chelsea Board in the first four-or-so months, they sacked him. That's one reason why Chelsea won't be a major hitter in English football long-term. They demand perfect performances in the short term, and if you can't deliver, you'll deliver the shopping for old pensioners until you lose the ability to grow hair. Mouriniho was one of the best modern managers Chelsea had, I can't remember why he left. Though, I would've done anything in my power to keep him there, at least for another five years... that is if I was on the Chelsea board. Ah well, let's hope the new'un'll stay longer than syphalis does...

Oh, just to add that, I should've wrote 'long term consistancy plus an above average intelligence equals success'. I totally forgot about the US's reign of error, Goerge W. Bush... Ah well.

Next topic. Lodern Mife. Yeah, it'sbasically me having another rant on today's 'celebrity age'. Grrrrr...

Anyroad, since I have AOL, everytime it goes onto the AOL Today page, there's the 'hottest searches' section. Which, I saw, was utter bullshite. I was looking at it, in disbelief, wondering 'how is the murder of someone less important than Jordan and Peter's split?'.

Am I the only person that thinks this? Do you stare, shockingly shocked, everytime you read something that basically says 'Michael Jackson's homicide has more importance in the lives of the world's population than the death and tragedy that has struck some third world country that's been stuck by a natural disaster'? Are you? I mean, FUCK. Yeah, Jackson was someone who brought something new to the mainstream music scene, but I wasn't going 'NO WAY!! OMFGZZ BBZ I'Z TWEETIN DIS SO ALL MY THREE FOLLOWERS CAN READ THIS EPICLOLZZ', I was like 'ah well, at least the sun won't fall on the planet soon'. Oh yeah, that last part of the last sentance was from a song called 'Rockin' Rocks' by Powderfinger. Anyways, I'll carry on with my point... in a NEW PARAGRAGH!! =O.

And here it is. This also enters the whole - and before I say this, I apologise for all textspeak that is overstereotyped...though I wouldn't know, being someone who writes essays in texts - 'WEHN I IS OLDER I'M GONNA BE JUST LYK JORDAN BRITTANIE AND JODIE MARSH COZ THEYRE FAMOUS HAHA LOLAGE'.

Err....

It fills me with dread, not sexual pleasure, if I see Jordan (or Katie Price, meh) on her latest ITV2 show. I believe the new one's about her split with Peter Andre. And I feel myself repeat the same word over and over again in my head...

Food?... Oh sorry, wrong word... the real word is, why? Why doed she publicly go out there (I believe that's the main thing about the public...), and allowing everything to be shown to the world? For the sake of money? Fame? Free boobjobs? Man, I thing that Jordan's New Show was more important that Katona being sacked from doing the Iceland ads for drug sniffage. I mean, to me - and I might sound rather old fasioned here, feck it - Katona's piece of news has more importance for a peice in the news than Jordan's new way of earning money by soaking up more camera lenses than someone who bathes in camera lenses. I'd want to know why Katona was sacked, when she was sacked, what will happen to her (like, is she going to go to rehab to get off the stuff, or something else). Not what Jordan's going to wear in all of her episoded.

And again, old fashioned alert here. Ah, bugger yourself if you think this. I might be, though I do play cricket on the 360, so I'm a bit 'post-modern-old-fashioned-dude'). I can't see what good these so called 'celebrities', like Jordan, Jodie Marsh and them 'glamour girls' are actually doing to the world. I'm not saying they aren't, all I'm saying is that I'm seeing them all spread all over the news/tabloids, most of the time barely clothed, just to stay in the minds of people. I mean, some girls are seeing these 'women', and wanting to do the same thing as they are...

Just to pause there, I put women in the quote things because, they aren't real women, aren't they? They aren't they way they were born. They're just what the tabloids want to have women look like. I mean, not being a pervert here, but I can't see a real point to having breast implants, just for the sake of getting attention. Though, I know of some medical cirumstances when it's acceptable. But when it's there to get more cover stories? Piss off with your plastic boobs and your materialistic views of the world. Women with real boobs are much more superior than you. =).

Also, since I'm on the subject (feck, I'm talking about women again...), what's this fantasy with the public and size zero girls? Not saying 'if your size zero, you have an ugly body', but, if you starve yourself just to fit in some clothes that are the smallest size possible? Seriously, have some fucking food. If you have to have your ribcage revealed everytime your in some ravealing clothing. Give up, you'd look twice as better in the natural size for you than you'd be if you starve yourself. Though, some girls are naturally thin, and it suits them. I mean, it'll look really odd if some girls who are usually size six, eight (I'm guessing here) end up as morbidly obiese. Also, if you're like, size eighteen, twenty or above, that doesn't label you as 'big ugly fatty'. Grrrr. Personally I'd prefer a girl with curves than one with no figure at all... bloody hell.

By the by, no I'm not saying that just to get on the good side of the female's thaughts, I'm just saying what I think... and since posting on my blog's the only time I do it, then so be it. Sorry for all you readers (the whole one and a half of you... the half being the moth upon the other readers computer screen as that person reads it).

And as well, (oh feck, he's off on one again)... I hate the fact that programs like PhotoShop, are being used to 'touch up' girls in a way to make them look totally different than they should look like. and yeah, I use PhotoShop, though I've only airbrushed an image once, and that was to see how it worked (all I did was chance the colour of both eyes and air on some random image). Yeah, sometimes it's good to erase some mishaps - maybe some mascarra had run, or the lipstick faded or some other make-up mishap), then yeah, correct it, if that's all you correct. There's some images when the editor erased the fucking belly button of a girl (which was supposed to look like a natural image... hence the fact that the belly button should be there... unless women don't have belly buttons...). I mean, how stupid can you get? Maybe I've still got an old fashioned view on the world. Y'know the one, where what you see is what you get. Where natural is better than fake. That sort of thing.

But, then I think. Why? Again, I think that three letter word. Acually, is why the only word that has no vowels? Anyby, I write all of this, but to no avail. Story of my life, really. I say all thing like 'I hate the modern way of life', 'I'm going to do something worth remembering with my life', or 'right, I'm going to make myself a pizza'. Yet, I do nothing with it. I don't go out in the real world, and work all the way to my goals (oh yeah, I'll just order the pizza from Domino's), I just possess this world of digicality, taking up space of the interweb, just to fill up the time before I go out to see friends and not think to myself 'Jesus, Ga. You're a fucking loner, eh?', and that's the censored version...

Ah well. Feck it all.

Father Ted's awesome, by the ways.

- Fin, and then some.

Critique Fanatique.

I'm a bastard. Yes.

I go on about things. This is also true.

Now, I'll tell you why.

I've had no comments about the designs I done for the clic thing.

So, this is another plea (again) on the images. And this time, no links needed. =).

Anyroad, firstly, this is the begining one, the first of two welcome pages. Only thing is that it's all in english, but meh, here it is...



Yeah, a tad big... onto my second bigg'un.

This is the multi-ligual one, thus, to my pain and misery, it's actually all in english... for now. But it's just to show what it will look like... here it goes...



I've just realised how rubbish the RCT's look, so unsmooth... But, that's not the logo. It's just RCT in Century Gothic font but slightly stuck together. How imaginative. It's the same RCT as the background... wich is loads of RCT's in different sizes and shades of grey.

Well, onto the home page... this is the home page (well, main content page). The english side of it... well, most of the info is on there anyways... =).



Yeah, sorry if the text's a tad blurry...

So yeah, please respond in a comment on here. I wanna know what people who might (though not sure exactly) use it when/if it's started before I send them to the 'clic' people.

Er. Nothing else to say really. The only thing I've done inbetween this post and the last one was watch Blackadder Goes Forth (best final episode ever) and Paramore's new music video. It's not that bad actually (I'm on about the song, the video's a bit quackers). But meh, this ends my image-mad post.

Thanks if you comment... =).

- Fin.

My End, It Justifies My Means. All I Ever Do I Delay...

Fuck the whole 'no posts for a while' thing.

I will warn you, I've nearly finished writing another song (well, it's more randomly pressing numbers into Guitar Pro and hoping they'll sound alright together), and there's a chance that I'll upload them onto the net. Yes, not only do I penertrate your monitors with my lifeless blog posts and skill-less photo and video edits, I must destroy every sense possibly and upload music I've 'created' for your eardrums to pound an enormous headache for you. Just be glad I'm not going to cook you dinner. If I did, it'll be a microwavable pizza.

Matthew Evans, a dude I hang around with in school (by the way, hi Matt. (=. ), requested that I should minimize the amount of Guitar Hero I should mention. And I agree. This'll be the last time I'll say anything Guitar Hero-ie in a while (well, until the fifth one's in my possession). Just to answer the thing I said in the last post. Finally got Guitar Hero III, and I managed to do Raining Blood on Expert. Four stars too....

Yeah, it's true. I haven't left my house since school ended. The furthest I've been out of my house is down by the steps to hand my sister the baby seat so then Ricky (if I haven't said before, he'd be my two year old nephew). It's basically the same order in the day for me. Wake up roughly sevenish, or eleven at the latest. Watch tellie until the news comes on. Go on a Guitar Hero. Get off the XBox. Sit around, watching tellie. Pick up the bass/guitar. Turn my laptop on to make layout/finish song/search something online (can only do one of those three right). Stay online until one. Try to sleep (which might be at two, as a guess). And during then I have something to eat either once or twice in the day. Oh, it's also sad that I actually kind of know whats happening on Emmerdale, Corronation Street and Eastenders. So, er.... someone help me? =).

Yeah, I'll post the link to the profile where I've post the midi files. Most probably it'll be on my Ultimate Guitar profile (if you can guess my username, then your almost as sad as me for having it). It might be tomorrow actually.

Oh, three pieces of trivia for you...

- This is my (I think) twenty fifth post. Yey.
- Most of my songs are in a Be Bop scale. Not sure the definition is of it is, but the C Be Bop scale consists of the following notes: C, D, E, F, G, A, A#, B, C. So, if anyone's got a definition of what a Be Bop scale is, then please let me know. =).
- Apparently, sperm speed is affected by the attractiveness of a woman... don't ask me how I know... I haven't done any sick experiments, okay?

Most probably I'll see you tomorrow (well, talk to you... well add text to my blog and hope that a few people actually read it).

- Fin.

Blank Page.

Well, at least you wish it was...

I've already posted more posts than last year. I think this'll be my tenth this year. So I'm guessing there's going to be at least thirty by the time September arrives. Lucky, lucky you...

Well, there's nothing really to this post. This is just basically talking to myself via the internet. That said, I haven't had a full blown conversation on any instant messenger service or social networking sites for about three, four months now. Most probably longer. Fuck it. And talking about fucking it...

There's an advert on now for Match.com, saying that there is too many 'hot new women', and they need more men to balance the levels out. To be fair, how many 'hot new women/men' do you expect from a bloody internet dating agency? If they were hot, fit, whatever you moderners call it these days, wouldn't they either have a partner, or actually go outside to find someone? I've never been on any type of dating site (I'd get the moderators banning me for being a prick most probably), but wouldn't they be filled with sad, pathetic loners that are too lazy to meet new people? I don't know, I just don't understand those type of sites... Actually this links good with my next thing I just thought of...

Facebook. Recently I have greatly started to hate it. This is for many reasons. Actually this is not just Facebook, it's to all social networking sites... and MSN....

Well, the main reason is that, well it's pretty awkward for me to describe it really... I'll just have to put it hazily, if that's a word... In school, or if I actually went out to places, I'm more than happy to see some people, even if I don't look happy. I could look like half of my face is frozen, no emotion, yet inside I could think 'Woo'. Yes, I would be THAT ecstatic. But yet, the moment I see that they are on some site, I just feel all wrong. Not because I'd rather bury my face in sulfuric acid than talk to them online, it's because I know that (most probably), they feel that way towards me. Either because I annoy them too much for multiple reasons (my crap guitar/bass/drum playing, or I go on about GH too much, or the fact that I just come up with things they don't like), or they just can't stand me. Don't ask me why I think like this, well, at least not on here. Maybe it's something to do with what happened like a year ago. But then I think, why should it? Ah well. Life's a bitch, I guess...

Another thing I'm not fussed about these sites is, those pathetic pictures where someone tags people on who they think people are in a group of friends. It's just annoying. I've somehow managed to be tagged in these things... not sure if I should be happy or nappy (y'know, not happy...). In one, I'm 'the crazy fuck', in another, 'the downer', and then 'the one that's up to no good' (off memory, like). As you can see, there wasn't the one they really wanted to put me as, either 'the emo in denial' (which, I am not either emo or in denial), 'the one who asks randomly pointless questions', or 'most likely to die a virgin'. Ah, such happiness. I'm also waiting for a political one. With people from parliment on there, and I bet someone'll tag me as Gordon Brown or someone from the BNP....

Also, the bloody status updates. Why? The only time I've updated my status is to tell people of my blog, yet not sure if anyone actually has read it. I'm only sure that one person has read two of my posts (because he's commented on them, thanks RBJ. =)... ). But when someone posts an update just because they've enjoyed their dinner in Nando's or wherever these moderners eat their food, does it really matter? I'm just waiting for one of my friends to post an update saying 'just inhaled from a bong. t'wasn't weed, was actually a peanut butter sarnie, it was nuts, lol'. Grr. And another thing....

Fucking 'lol'. And 'rofl'. They fucking lie all the time. No, you aren't 'rofl'ing if you are typing at that moment. And the fact people actually say these things in real life? It's just to show how socialising has changed. I'm glad texts or any shite modern things weren't in Shakespearian times. Y'know, 'Hey bbz, gonna fake mi deth 2nite lol, 1 way 2 get away from rents, dunt worry ill b up 4 BB l8r rofl'. Guess what play that would've been and you will get free oxigen for a month. Or, what if Lady Macbeth had Twitter... 'Cant get blood off hands, going to use PalmOlive...'. Yes, I have probably gone slightly overboard. But the fact is this, why must we abbreviate every single thing? Lol, rofl, omfg, soad, it's going overboard. And yes, this does make me a hypocrite. I've done it myself, when I use GH instead of Guitar Hero. But I prefer a sentance to be full of words that aren't abbrieviated (and that are spelled properly), I even write numbers as words also. It just seems right. If I am using a mathmatical formulae, then yes, I will use numbers. But if it is online, or writing a number in a sentance, then I will use the word instead. Trash me, I'm not bothered if you do. It's my way of thinking.

I'll finnish soon enough, I've taken up too much space from the internet as it is. My friends are starting bands with eachother/people in their friend circle, yet the bands are either metal or scene (I think anyroad). I too would like to start a band, a punk-esque band, that have GreenDay (Dookie years), Nirvana and bands like those as influences. I don't want to do it for success, money, or anything like that. I just want to try and start something that will produce (hopefully) great music, regardless of if there are lyrics or not. I don't know if I am alone in this, most probably I am. Ah well, if nobody is, I could always try and do something in free lessons in school... well, though we've only got ten days left in that shitehole...

I should piss off now, I've seemed to given you a migrane.

Bye.

"One Baby To Another Says, I'm Lucky To Have Met You"

I shall be frank, well to be fair it's better than being Gareth... damn, I despise the name...

To be fair like, I'm starting to take a real disliking to modern life... It's like, nearly everything these days is about looks, or things that's happening this minute or what happened three days ago, because it was so hilarious/shocking/epic. To be fair, who really cares in the long run? Just because you went out on a night on the tiles, doesn't mean it's good to brag at the fact that 'I had three Carlings and was only slightly hammered'. Yeah, like drinking pissloads of toxins makes you a God amongst men all of a sudden. I can't really imagine, milleniums ago, that stone age dudes were bragging about how many times they had sex with their partners, or how many partners they've had. Big fucking deal.

'Ah, your just jealous because you're still a virgin'....

Yeah, and? Sorry, that was a thing someone said to me on the bus. She was in year seven. That's like twelve, thirteen years old. And she's trying to make me feel bad because I haven't bowed down to peer pressure and bonk the nearest harlet who'd give blowjobs for a packet of Wotsits. I know, I'm going to sound pathetic, but I want my first time to be special, well... with someone I actually care about, be that this year or in ten, twenty years time. How would you feel if you popped your cork for the first time, realising three days before that, the person your cork was popped by had some sort of desiese that made you infertile, or worse could kill you, and you only realised that after you had a test before you tried to start a family with someone you love? Yeah, that's a nice thing to say to your future partner. "Sorry love, no kids for us. I let my shaft rule my head and now I have an uncurable desiese that will eventually kill me in these next few months. On the plus side, you'll get most of my life earnings because you have nice tits"... and no, I'm not like that. I don't mind saying it, or being like that. I hate it though when people try to put me down because of it... or because it's for religious reasons...

If you are religious, please understand that this next paragragh or two is only MY OPINION. If you go all 'BLAH BLAH BLAH YOUR WRONG INNEH BECAUSE GOD IS REAL BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T BE HERE IF HE WEREN'T', you just prove how blinkered your vision is. Because there is more prove to it, I believe that the big bang theory happened, though I wonder what made it. Was it some clouds of gas that existed there before the big bang randomly exploded? Did God (or whoever you believe in) set everything ready, and just pressed a 'generate' button on his version of Windows (or Mac, depending on your outlook on life)? Or did some mythical creature randomly light a fart and aimed it at a blank canvas? See, nobody really knows, innit? And talking about God and that, and I admit I will sound like a pathetic child for this, I don't believe in the same God that Christians, or any religion, does. That said, I do actually believe that something is up there. Yes, I may call him/her God, but he is (again with the patheticness) my God. He's (I'll call God a male for the duration now, less typing, though I believe God can be either male or female) not this ideal being that has not sinned, lived or died. He's this real person, not really having a face that I've seen before (let me guess what your thinking "Gareth's a nut, I knew it", I'm not... much of one anyways), that's actually been on earth, actually seen the same views that I can/will see, even inhaled the same air as I will. Someone who actually has made many more mistakes than you and I will ever do. A human that's done all of this, yet with none of this 'saviour' stuff. And someone who doesn't need to be worshipped endless times a year. You might think now, "That's a bit lazy, Ga", well no it's not. Well, I don't believe so. Just because that if I worshipped God (I'm on about all types now) in a different way than what is expected, then I will be shunned for all eternity and a half. Maybe this is my way of worshipping, maybe actually being alive is worship in itself.

And, like many people in the world, I have majorly contradicted myself, and, unlike many people, I shall admit that with all the strenght that I have (though that's not much, so text'll have to do). Because I accept all the stuff scientists said. I admit that the universe is ever expanding, that the mere fact of us being alive is a lottery that we won. Fuck, I'm bloody taking Chemistry and Physics, for crying out loud! Also, if someone comes up to me, talking about religion, and talking about why they believe in their religion, I will happily listen. But the moment you try to force your beliefs onto me, or try to convert me into your way of thinking, then I instantly shut down all emotion and basically ignore you, not taking anything in. I'm more than happy to understand other cultures more, and that has no word of a lie in that last comment.

That's the religion bullshit done with for now, jsut got a couple of things I feel like I've got to say....

First thing is, basically it about food, and the reasons why I don't eat the 'average amount of food for my age'. Basically, I just see it as a resourse. Food is some items that must be comsumed to gain energy, nutrience and any other helpful stuff. Though I don't see the point in eating food for the sake of it. Before, when I was talking to my mother, she said "you're just like my grandfather". Like me with a pastie a day, he used to have the same meal for years on in. "I asked him why, he replied 'I don't live to eat, I eat to live'", or something along those lines. And that's exactly it. I must eat to stay alive. If we didn't have to eat to live, I wouldn't eat. Or eat as little as possible. Again, this might sound pathetic to you. To be fair, if it does, I'm not bothered. It's my way of thinking, at least we have that these days, innit?

Also, I want to apologise. Apologise to basically everyone. I know I can be a prick at times (at times? And the rest...), and I can honestly say that I don't mean to. I guess I'm slightly illiterate in the social scene (I couldn't think of a word other than illiterate there). Also, the fact that, y'know, just go quiet for no reason whatsoever. It pisses me off to. Lastly, I'm sorry for the fact that I may say sorry over and over. I do feel that I have to constantly apollogise for everything I do/say/think/feel. That's it for the apologies things.

That pretty much covers a lot of things that's built up in me for a long time, apart from one major thing. Though I doubt that'll never come to life online, only by word to someone I feel I can trust them. Only thing really to say about it the title. It's the first line to a Nivarna song, called 'Drain You'. It's a brilliant song from a band that achieved so much, even after they disbanded.

Yep, that's it now. I jsut realised the paragraph that I was apologising in reads like a suicide note. Shit. There is no way I am going to commit suicide. Trust me.

That's all folks.

C'ya.

If Only...

Ahhh...

You might not have guessed it now, but I have an odd thing about this font, Trebuchet. Odd fact, did you know that there is a unit in Age Of Empires II called the Trebuchet? Yes, it is a siege unit that is built at castles and have great damage and range abilities, yes. It is also....zzzzzzzzzz.... yeah Ga, your boring...

Yes, Trebuchet. It's like one of my most used fonts, joined with Verdana. They are like the ugly sisters from Cinderella, if they had plastic surgery. Comic Sans, on the other hand.... jeez... that's like the prostitute of typography. It's overused, overrated, and, like me, fucking ugly and soul-less. It's got less charisma than Gordon Brown. Now, that's saying something. Yet, it's popular with the kids. Maybe because it has the word "comic" in it. Ah well. What can I do about that?...

One thing that's confused me though, it's why have I started with talk of fonts. What sort of person does that? I mean, I have to get a life soon... man...

Actually, I think I'm going to end it soon. Such an eventful blog...

Well, on the theme of text and fonts, I've gots meself a new program. =). Texter, it is. It like changes the text you typed to a text you've already programed it to turn to with a simple press of the tab button. I mean, I spent like a good few hours typing in 'donkey' and then the tab button just to see the lyrics to Moon Chavs popping up each time. Ah, bliss.

Er... other news in the world of me?... Not really. Other than I STILL can't do a fully completed run of The Middle on Guitar Hero: World Tour. I mean, the verses, I'm fine. Chorus, I'm cool. The bloody solo, I start off like 'whey', but end up strumming too slow on the fast part. DAMN YOU RIGHT HAND OF SLOTH!! Yeah, I know I'm a tad sad. Though Pull Me Under is a slight let down in the last song category. I mean, GH2, Jordan's a bitch. DragonForce's song just took the piss. I failed both songs on expert, with my virtual bassist laughing at me. Pull Me Under, on the other hand, was piss. And this is from the person who has a touch-and-go thing with passing Sweet Home Alabama. Damn that last solo. But anyways. That's the first song I've ever gotten over 500,000 points for a song. Woot woot for me. Cocked up like mad on the solo, though 'twas too short of a solo for my liking. But, there's a shining beakon (if that's how you spell it) with one aspect of GH:WT....

If critics say 'there's no part of Guitar Hero nor Rock Band that will give positive results in real life'... they haven't had a good bang... on the drums.
I mean, let me say first that I'm no drummer on any music game. The hardest song I've done is... well Hot For Teacher on Expert... but properly it's like Beat It on Hard. Though now, I'm like slightly on a higher level than a total crapbag on real drums. It's kinda made me want to learn the drums now. Though for some reason I don't want to become a singer just because I can do No Sleep 'Til Brooklyn on Expert (even if there's a slightly loud fan next to me.... what?). I fail big time on vocals. Seriously, I can just about scrape a five star performance on Rebel Yell.... on Easy. EASY! Bloody holes of Satan's tearducts! Note to self, never sing, ever, and never try to make funny sentences anymore...

Right, that'll be me off. I see some bourbons with my name on it... ah, the joys of Sharpie pens...

Nacht. =)..