As you know from the other thirty seven blog posts I've written this year, this year is what you could call a Wicid year. No, not in the manner as in "it's been a well ace year, wicked bruv," no.
Since the twenty seventh of January this year, I've been helping out with Wicid, and since late February I've been the sub-editor for the site. Since then, my year has been kind of run by Wicid. I've written shitloads of stuff for it, with about under a third of everything I've written going up to Clic. Since Clic don't allow any type of drivel up to the site, this must mean that I have something good about me when I write. Though, I don't really understand what is good about it. Fuck, I don't even think I have a good writing manner. I just write how I speak. That's why there are some terrible grammatical mistakes.
But, it has made me question something. Am I actually good at writing? I really don't think so. The only reason I have this blog is to vent out some opinions that I don't have the confidence to do in the real world. That's why I'm unsure about the Dear World series that I write for Wicid. Is there any point in me carrying on writing it when all it does it just give my opinions and feelings on the most pointless subject matters? No idea.
One thing that I've just realised is that I hate Winter. Why? Because it feels like it brings shrouds of doubt and pessimism into my life. I mean, I was looking at all the fireworks displays from countries that are already in 2011, and the only thing I can think of is "we were in an economical crisis not long ago, why are they wasting money on celebrating the entrance of 2010?".
And this brings me to another point. I need a new outlook on life. For the past few years, I've seen the world through monotonous eyes. Either it is, or it isn't. I can't really describe what my outlook on life is at this moment, bit all I can say for sure that even though I can see happiness and all that everywhere I look, all I can think of is the depression that grips this world, the hatred that fills it and the devastation that is left in it by bastards of it.
See? Now, I know that people may see me as a twat. A big fucking twat who belittles everyone that doesn't see the same way as I do. That is not true. I just have an odd view on life. I wish I can change, but I probably won't. Fuck.
In other news, the one thing that this year has shown me is that I bloody well want to start a band. I keep saying this, but I really hope that I actually do something happens with it. Currently, I'm either in one band or two. Not sure exactly what the situation is really, all I know that I'm at least in one band with Burt and Michael (who is my cousin on my mother's side, I'm only stating that since I have two cousins called Michael), and I am the bassist.
The first possible one is with Burt's lady friend as a vocalist, and the possible name of the band is something like MGBG or something like that. No idea what genre we're aiming at, mind. The last possible one would be Michael's current band, Levin Street. There's been some issues with the bassist and the singer. So, me and Burt's might fit in as a bassist and lead guitar respectively (I guess that the current guitarist will take a rhythm role and maybe a vocalist line).
So, I'm in a band (possibly) as a bassist. Now all I need is two more bands as a rhythm guitarist and a drummer (though I may be in another band with Burt and Calum in a band for metal-style music). Happy days.
Sorry that I cannot keep my blogs in a more straightforward manner, I have the need to explain myself all the time.
Anyway, one thing that got me thinking recently was my fellow blogger, RuhBuhJuh, and this post. He goes on about being average. One thing that got me thinking was the point about where he mentions that another fellow blogger (though, he doesn't blog much these days), Snefru7, and his natural ability with the guitar.
It got me thinking, and I know this might sound egotistical of me. Do I have any natural talent?
I can't answer that, to be honest. I mean, I taught myself everything that I'm novice at, which is Photoshop, bass guitar, guitar and drums. So, if teaching yourself something counts as a natural talent, then I might have a small talent. Granted, I taught myself all these at least a year ago. Hopefully I'd teach myself some more things this year.
But in every other manner, I have no talent. I had to work rather hard to get up to the level that I am at everything I taught myself (which is novice level). I used to be good at mathematics, and now that's gone down the shitter. Fuck. RuhBuhJuh gave me something that will hopefully stay with me for a while. And that is what, I hear you cry. Well, I know that I'm (less than) average, I just hope I can do stuff that will make my less average than others.
Right, I'm not going to bore you further. Well, just a little further. I gave myself four targets last year, which I failed miserably. So, I'm going to give myself some more targets for this year. Yeah, I'm sad. These are mainly for me really, like a documentation of my failure. Lovely. Ah well, here's the targets (well, hopes really) for 2011...
- Do well in university. That's a given.
- Get better at all instruments. I'll make a detailed list of what level I'd like to get at the instruments of choice.
- Improve my Welsh. Right now, it is at a shocking level compared to my fiends in my year at school. I want to keep my ability of speaking Welsh, fact.
- Save money. I haven't done too badly this year, I just need to do more.
- Do better when helping out with Wicid. All I've done really is write a lot of articles and edit some of the article in the back end. Maybe I could be more involved somehow.
- I'm not even going to bother having a 'could there be someone special in 2011' one here. Obviously there won't be anyone. Ah, forever alone. Ha.
But yeah, I hope you lot have a good year this year. See you on the other side.
- Last of the summer FIN.
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