Blinded by Light

Before I start, I should admit that this will be a Final Fantasy heavy post. But not all of it will. Maybe.

First of all, an update on me. I am still alive, as you can tell by this post. I've just been abducted by the purchase of a PSP and the Clic residential in Welshpool. I'll link you up once the article is up on Wicid/Clic.

About the PSP thing. One of the only reasons for me buying Sony's portable system is to play the older Final Fantasy games. I've only played the newer ones. Well, that's a lie, I've played the first half an hour of VIII, but it bored me to death, though these days I'm willing to give it another chance. But yeah, so far I've only played X, XII and XIII, and ever since I played X I've wanted to play them all. And expensive task, but one helped by the fact that I don't spend much anyway. Win.

Anyway, I have a problem with something, and that is mainly with the fan base of FF games. No, I don't mean the whole "my fuck, VII should get a remake and not X" and all that shit, but the VII fans need to realise that it will virtually mean creating a new game from scratch, not just tidying up the bugs and the graphics ready for the HD age. It'll probably take Square Enix under a year to do that (give or take six months), while a remake of VII will take ages. Just look at how long Versus XIII has taken, and that's not a remake.

But it's not that, it's the "shippers". At first, I have no idea what "ship" means (and I have no shame in admitting that I only found out a few months ago), other than the boat type ones. I looked into it, and I realised it means when someone pairs two characters up.

I understand why they'd pair up some characters (like in X, if someone paired up Wakka and Lulu I'd somewhat understand, considering in X-2 they were married and waiting to have a child), but not any character whatsoever.

A perfect example is in XIII, and two characters in particular - Lightning and Hope.

To those who don't know the story (and I'm going to power phrase this part, and there might be spoilers if that effects you somehow), those two characters (as well as the other playable characters in the game) are hiding from the army as they are considered fugitives. Lightning, being an ex-soldier, tells those around her that they need to press on, so she does. Hope, who is somewhat in despair due to seeing his mother die in the events leading to the party to be fugitives, wants to get stronger for his future plans, thus he heads off in Lightning's direction and meets up with her.

At first, their relationship was more civilian and soldier, with Lightning just destroying everything in site while Hope throws down some magic support. But a few chapters in, and Hope's plans didn't go to plan, and from there you can see that the relationship between Light and Hope changing, but only in a sibling manner. I mean, some people may see everything between Light and Hope in the cutscenes and think "that's proof that they are meant to be". No it doesn't. That's like saying every time someone punches Snow, that means they want to bonk his hat off.

Personally, there is nothing between Hope and Light, nothing sexual anyway. I mean, if someone actually plays the game they'd see that. At most, Light (and to an extent, Fang) is more like a mother figure to Hope than a lover. I mean, look at the scene where Hope unexpectedly summons Alexander for the first time. Who goes to his defense? Fang and Light, but not in the "we've got to save the penis, for he'll create our babies" way. They are giving him advice and confidence while preparing to fight the eidolin, not to mention that nearly everyone treats Hope differently due to his age and his situation prior to the third chapter.

Also, it makes no sense that people link Sazh and Vanille together. It seems that when people partner characters up outside of the game, they just see any time where they are together in game, and that's the case with Light-Hope and Sazh-Vanille. Those two pairings are together for the most of the game. Why? Because that's how they split up during the game, and that's no reason to partner them up sexually.

On another note, FFXIII-2 is coming soon, and I have three problems (well, one of them is if SE decide to do it that way). The first one, is Serah's costume.

I mean, look at them. Her in XIII is on the left and the right is her possibly in XIII-2.

I don't know why, but I don't really understand why they could have just modded the XIII costume up a bit. Granted, it's not a brilliantly designed costume. Personally, I'd have made the skirt slightly longer and make Serah herself slightly taller (because in the scenes with her and Snow, it makes Snow look like a pedophile). But the things that annoy me about the new costume (and animations) is that for starters, she has a choker-type thing on her neck. It just looks awful. And the way she holds her weapon (when it is in sword form), it is horrible. It's next to identical as how Cloud held his sword in VII, which is horrible too.

And while I'm on the subject, I understand why they chose the roles they did for Serah (as they are the same roles as Lightning, her sister), but I can't understand why Serah's main role is a commando. Why couldn't they spiced things up a bit by making her a saboteur or synergist? Would have made things interesting in a party with a commando already (the new guy, Noel).

And now I'm on the subject of designs, I'm going to talk about Yuna from X, and how awful I thought her design was in X-2 (and this is the same problem I have with Hope in XIII and XIII-2).

Right, same thing again. Here's Yuna in X and X-2. Her in X-2 is the more revealing one.

Now, before anyone goes on me on ranting about the clothes, I'm not. Well, I am but not as much as I will be doing where her face is concerned.

I mean, look at the left one. Now look at the right one. Now, do the same, but this time concentrate on their faces. They are supposed to be the same person (albeit with two years difference), but they look nothing alike. Yuna's face in X is more rounded than in X-2, which is much more pointier and longer in general. Surely that wouldn't happen in real life? Nobody that I've known long enough has had their face change that much. And I don't understand why they had to "slut her up". Yes, I understand there was a change between the world she lived in between X and X-2, and the attitudes of her world had changed considerably, but surely faces stay the same?

And the fact that SE made X-2 for a sequel to X makes me worry about the story for XIII-2. At the end of X, Yuna basically loses someone she loves/feels very much for (depending on the region you play), while all that seemed to be washed away as she (in one of the endings) gets her man at the end of X-2, that makes me think that SE were thinking "give the fans what they want", and at the same time basically shitting on one of the best endings I've ever witnessed in a game.

I fear that SE will bow down to the fans again, and make Lightning and Hope a couple. Please, if you're reading this Square Enix, please don't let that happen. If there is a legitimate reason or way that they somehow fall in love or something, then that's fine. But not for them to just see each other after three years and then decide that they want each other. Oh, and while you're reading this, SE, bring back Fang and Vanille. But only in a legitimate way. Thanks.

Right, that's me done on Final Fantasy for now. And if you've read all that, bravo.

In personal news, I have an EEG examination this Monday to see if there's a chance that I have epilepsy. I'll get the results during October. That should be fun.

I also begin university for the second time this week coming. I have my induction on the Thursday coming. I think that's the twenty-third or something. I don't know. Anyway, this year I shall be learning about green screen stuff and maybe some mobile technology. Win all around.

So yeah. That is it. And I know my ranting is annoying and that, but yeah, it's just what I think.

Oh, and the title to this blog is the title of the battle music of Final Fantasy XIII. It's brilliant. Have an ear-gander here. It's the long version. Win...

Fucking gorgeous, that.

- Can't think of anything witty, so I'll end this with a FIN.

Fuck This Shit

Yes, this is about swearing.

If you didn't know, my recent Dear World article is about insults. In the article, I talk about how insults have become lazy and short like "motherfucker" and "penishead". I also urge the youth of Wales (well, RCT) to marvel at wonderful insults that are thoughtful and bamboozling at the same time. Well, I think I did anyway.

In this article, I do swear, though I don't write a fucking fuck after every fucking word. At first, the article went up fine. Then, I had a call, saying that the council wanted to edit it so the swearing won't be obvious (so, instead of twat, it would be tw*t). For some reason, they are still unhappy.

They now want to blank out all the swearing in the article, meaning that a rather light swearword like shag (for example) could be misunderstood for a fuck or a cunt.

Because of this reason, I asked if they can just have the first letter of it (so it would be t--- instead of twat), but apparently they are still unhappy with this.

So, for a website that is supposed to be giving the young people a voice, it has pretty much failed due to some rather stupid council people being unhappy that I've said the word "twat" and "wanker".

I'm sorry, but I've sworn in an article a few times before (and the majority of them in a Dear World article). So, why are they censoring it now?

Also, I don't understand why they are censoring it. If their train of thought is that the younger end of the Clic age group (say, eleven to fourteen) are going to go on a swearing frenzy just because I used the word wanker in an article. I write how I talk, and I usually talk to an eleven year old the same as I would a twenty five year old. I don't see how I should shelter, if you will, the younger generation by censoring my writing (well, anyone's writing on Wicid and all the Clic sites).

It's not like they don't know about swearing, right? I mean, people in the same year as me were swearing during the late years of primary school. What age is that? About nine, ten, eleven? They know all about these words these days. I don't think that, on a website that gives a voice for young people in Wales, that anyone should cover their arse by not saying arse. Yet, ass would probably be acceptable. Fucking Americanisms...

I apologise to you, my possible and improbable readers, as I'm ranting to you about the council's doing. I really don't care if they know that I've written this. Fuck, I won't even deny doing so. It makes no sense.

For my last part of annoyance, I'll wish you would click on this link. It is the swearing section of the Wicid (and Clic) style guide. If you cannot be arsed to click on a like, here is what it says.

Gratuitous swearing cannot be allowed on the websites due to the age range of our readers (11-25). If you feel you absolutely have to swear, please keep it light and ensure it is in context with your article, although we can’t guarantee its inclusion.

I understand completely why this is in the style guide. As the age group is eleven to twenty five, we must make aware that our content is between these ages. But, to my defense, I do believe in all of my being that my swearing is well within the context of the article. I'll stick it up on my Dear World blog for you to read. I was going to write one on swearing, though I guess that's out of the question.

Anyway, I honestly believe that I needed to swear in the article. For one, it was a form of quoting. Second of all, it was a reference to the quote and lastly it was an example of other swear words.

I only used three swearwords - twat, wanker and prick. I didn't type something racist, nor did I use something that is derogatory of women. It's three swearwords, and all in context.

Why? RCTCBC, why?

- Fuck the motherfucker. Fuck the motherfucker. Fuck the motherfucker. He's a fucking motherfucker. Fuck the motherfucker. Fuck the motherfucker. Fuck the motherfucking FIN.

Land Of Confusion

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Red Flag

If you're thinking Yey, he's got a title for his blog from a Billy Talent song... Yeah, I didn't. I just glanced at my door, where I have, hanging with pride and honesty, my Welsh flag. But I couldn't call it Red, White and Green Flag 'cause that would be a stupid title (Ahem...). And if I called it Welsh Flag you might assume that this would be a an overly-patriotic post on how Wales is being crippled by the British 'empire' and how we should rise up and be thankful of our Welsh language.

Yeah, I think I've lost some of you already.

I shall continue, if I still have you, that is. Heh, reminds me of my first date, that...

Anywho, I've actually started this post because I read a blog which overused the word 'ass'. Yes, it's a rant post.

Maybe it's because I live in Wales (or the United Kingdom... yeah, it's not really that united, isn't it?...), but I take the word 'ass', and instantly think 'donkey'.

Why? Because it does mean donkey.

If you want to say your bum, your buttocks, it's ARSE. See? ARSE. Bugger the fact that the spelling thing that I have on my internet browser says that it's spelled wrong. It's not. Why? Because. Yeah, you just got told. Booya.

Another thing that got me thinking was a Family Guy episode yesterday. Y'know, the one where Brian's ex was marrying a guy? Well, he says in it "I could care less". That hit me there, right there (if you can't see me through this blog, I'm pointing at my left leg). I shall refer to David Mitchell for my reasonings...



Maybe I shouldn't use a comedian person thing to argue my point. But I have. So yeah. Hi there.

I have ranted a bit here. I shall rant some more. This time, on cocks.

Yes, I live in a house. A terraced house. The problem? The neighbours on both sides are cocks (and you thought I was going to talk about cockfighting...).

Allow me to elaborate...

To the left of my house (if you were outside my front door, facing the house), there is a family. They aren't bad, apart from the father. He seems like the type of person who if you don't do what he wants, he'll do it anyway. Do it without even thinking. This happened recently. He asked my father to chop down the trees behind the house. My father said okay, in a minute. But, a few moments later, I hear my mother cry (as in shout out loud, not sobsobsob). She saw the man next door starting to hack the trees randomly. Not good. But, unlike the other neighbour, he apologised and helped out to fix it.

The right neighbour (well, the bitch neighbour from hell) is just interested in short-term gain. Why do I think that? Well, considering that she had her loft converted illegally and the fact she took down a fence thing that held up a fire escape and now that if a fire was to start in my house then nobody could go through that way. Shit, that was a long sentence. But yeah. If there was a fire downstairs right now, we would not be able to use one way out since the floor thing that's there would break and we'll break a leg or our sense of well-being. And today, she cut the hedge that is inbetween us, but she's cut the hedge on our side also. And adding the whole 'her daughter smokes and chucks all the butts on our roof' thing, then yeah...

To be honest, I have no idea why I wrote all that. So, to compensate, here's a picture of Pikachu...



So, with that bombshell...

Goodbye.

- Father FIN.

Could You Be Loved?

Well hello, dear reader... well, not that dear... I haven't paid you yet.

I'll be honest with you, this is the first blog that I've done (well, currently doing) that is wireless. Yes, I've resorted to use the wireless function on my laptop for no apparent reason other than just to say I can go wireless. Beat that, you Ethernet cable users.

It is also a welcome return to late night blogging (and other people my age would either be being pissed or doing a nine-pinter at this time at night). Well, I say 'welcome', I'm passing the time between starting to feel tired and actually getting into bed. As of now, I am at five percent on the tiredness indicator, though with over half my battery left to go, this should be a short'un. No promises though.

So yeah, I've written two paragraphs, and now I have no idea what to write (well, type) about. Until now.

I've just realized two things. The first thing is that Firefox has a spellchecker and I believe it's set to US English, and not Welsh English.... Damn you, you hound of flames...

Also, I've started to have a sort of a don't speak unless spoken to idea on life. Y'know, it's like, I have nothing interesting to talk about (I mean, look at all the blog posts, nothing interesting... just bizarre...), so why talk? Why burden other people with useless information that is, well, useless? Saying that, it doesn't mean that I won't talk back if you start talking to me, it's just that I'm not the best conversationalist.

And, to be fair, that ideal has gone through to Life 2.0 (or, for the people who didn't get it, online life). It sounds rather pathetic, but I try to keep myself to myself on Facebook and all that. I delete anything on my wall that I don't like, or that says that I've done something. I've gone as far as to delete some groups that I became a fan of because I've saw no point in them. I mean, just because you sing out aloud to songs, doesn't mean joining a group with everyone else that does this makes you superior to everyone who doesn't do it. Or whatever the reason of joining the group is. If it's a way to meet new people, it's not the best way. I've just realized I'm having a rant on something pretty pointless.

Maybe you're wondering why this has made me type a blog up on it, maybe you'd rather have a verbal enema. But by the by, I shall continue.

For some reasons or other, there have been mini arguments - marguments, if you will. I don't know what about, neither do I care. But I tell you one thing, if everyone learned to shut up (or, at least thought about what they said before they said the think), the world would be a better place. Or at least a quieter one. But no, we live in a civilization where free speech entitles people to not think about what they are about to say.

Grrrrrrr.

Sometimes, I think it would've been better if humanity didn't progress so quick. Yeah, I know that it's been millions of years of progress, but it's because of this is where we at today. I mean, this age is the age where there's no real fight for survival, no day-by-day life threatening problems (unless you're one of these people that believe a bad hair day is a reasonable reason for committing suicide... and if you are, you need help). The only thing people (well, the majority of people, as it seems to me) worry about is getting high/pissed and getting laid.

Where as, if we were in the same era as the Stone Agers, there'd be a reason to fight, reason to fear (and if you think balloons and clowns are reasons to fear, it's not the same as having the fear that your family could die from an unknown virus or just killed in their sleep). I honestly have no idea why I'm saying these things. I'd be dead years ago if we lived in that lifestyle (and yet, you wouldn't be reading this), but it's like the further the human race progresses, the need to be aware lessens. If that makes sense.

But then again, if we did live in the Stone age type of life, I wouldn't have known anything about music apart from the fact that hitting things with sticks makes sounds. There wouldn't be no Bob Marley to listen to. And that's unheard of these days. Yes, the title of this blog is a Marley song, one of my favorites from him (the song is about God, I believe, either if you could be loved by the almighty one, though I may be wrong). And, in Redemption Song, 'Emancipate yourself from mental slavery, None but ourselves can free our minds...'. Don't ask me why I quoted Bob Marley. He was amazing. But those lyrics are true. Only we can free our minds from things. I'll be honest when I say I'm not sure what he means by mental slavery, maybe it could be peer-pressure, doubt, or anything that can hold you back or has an ability to create an air of fear and hatred inside of you. Whatever it means, I'm going to try to follow that.

Yeah, just be glad I didn't go the whole hog and quote Three Little Birds...

Also, sorry for the weird path of this blog, but yeah, this is the end. Smilie face.

- So much trouble in the FIN.

Diweddglo

So yeah, this is either the final or the final-but-one post of the year (hence Diweddglo being the title - which means something like to finish off... correct me if I'm wrong, Welshies...).

It's another year... wasted really...

Or was it?

To be fair, I have no clue. I'm not sure what to consider a waste or not. Is reading through countless blogs about design inspiration a waste of time? I don't know...

Well, here are the facts.

First off, I've gotten much better at playing the bass. I would say, well type, that I've improved a shedload since this point last year. I can actually play slap bass alright, maybe in the middle on the scale of awsomeness. I've ditched the pick also... sort of. I still need it to play fast songs like Hysteria (yeah, I know it's actually like eighty-nine beats per minute, but I can't fingerpick it at all), but on the whole, I've learned, at least the basics of, three bass playing techniques. So I suppose that time staying in my room with the bass wasn't such a total loss. Hehe.

But, on the bad side to that, I've still got next to no knowledge on theory. No clue whatsoever. I can only recognise the major scale (well, and the bebop, but that's because I use that constantly in the songs I made up... ah that too...). Only recently I actually understood the pentatonic scale and positions (I think...). Also, I've learned no more chords for the guitar. Woop for me. So guitar-wise, it has been a waste really. But then again, I only really want to learn enough to be a rhythm guitarist (y'know, just keep the rhythm and that shaite, well what the bass does then...).

The 'ah, that too...' thing I wrote in the last praragraph. I've written a hand-and-a-half-ful of songs. Even though most of them are songs-to-be. Only three or so are full blown songs, either finished or nearly finished. The thing is, they are totally different from each other...

The first one, which I called Acoustication is, well... an acoustic song. I think I've said about it before, because I remember writing that I feel that it sounds too middle-of-the-road-like. It's also got the only guitar solo that I can actually play. So yeah, that shows the dificulty of the song. Not only that, it's got a piano in it. Look at me, with the use of different instruments. =). It's about two and a half minutes long... though I might need someone's guiding hand with polishing it and that.

Second one is (for now) called Rather Scene. Balls. I tried to make a rock song, but ended up writing more like a emo-scene song. Not intentionally, I might add. Also, this and the previous song seems predictable. Y'know, even if it's the first time you heard it, you could still guess what would come up. Anyroad.

I'm halfway writing two bass things too. I wouldn't call them solos, so I won't. They are both slap bass. One is an intro idea to an album (well, we can all dream...) and the other would probably would just be a dud.

Sorry about the blabbering on... =).

I think my blogwriting's back.

LUCKY YOU.

Ahoyhoy, one thing I know I've wasted time on is... yeah, Guitar Hero. You know when you've wasted your life when you've four-starred Raining Blood, got your first FC on drums, guitar and bass (that would be Plug In Baby by Muse, which is on GH5) and, not only that, started singing also! Shit! I can't sing!...

Can I?

Obvliously, the answer is no. There's a reason why I write blogs. Nobody really wants to hear my voice. And anycaboodle, five-starring songs on hard vocals doesn't mean you can sing. It just means you've played on that song too many times.

*Insert extreme smilie face here*.

Anyboom. Schoolwise, I'd say I've prooved myself to be a failure of sorts. Maybe thinking too much about death and that shizz made me wonder if there was a point in studying for a place in Uni was worth it. I don't know. I believe my mindset's changed, well at least in the working stakes. I felt like utter shit, looking at my two D's and a C in my AS's. I felt people were laughing at me after I got kicked out of Art. To be fair, I don't care about that now. I'm not even bothered if people are better than me in Chemistry, Physics or Music Tech. As long as there is something I'm better than them at, I don't mind.

I say that, meaning that as long as I have some worth, like I'm not second best at everything. So people might come up to me asking about something. I know, who's ever going to ask me how to change the colour of someone's eyes in PhotoShop or how to do legspin in cricket? Eh, yeah...

Talking about PhotoShop, I'd like your opinion.

Y'know that logo idea and web design I showed you some posts ago? Well, I did a redesign. If you don't mind, could you critique them? =).


This is the webdesign...



... and this is the background I made for it...



The logo I used is exactly the same as I made in the other post. But if they decide to change the logo, I'll ask for a .png file of it and then do more designs.

And that's really it. Not much done this year. I've thaught way too much also, and don't you know it.

So yeah, just to make this longer (not really, I just haven't got anything else to do, so I'm just writing what I'm thinking...), predictions for next year (well, more like hopes).

1 - I will get two B's and a C in my exams, thus being accepted by Swansea Metrepolitain for Interactive Media Design.
2 - I'll start a band, or at least work with a lyricist/songwriters. Writing with other people should be fun...
3 - Dare I say it?... Could there be someone special during Two Thousand and Ten? I hope so, but I highly doubt it...
4 - Hopefully, will keep in contact with the school people that I actually like talking to. Shall be easier and harder once in uni... well once school's over.

So yeah. Bring on Two Thousand and Ten.

NEVER TWENTYTEN. Fuck off with the coupling number shite....

Anyways...

- Happy birthday World... Gareth says FIN.

Forever In Debt To Your Priceless Advice.

Well hello there. Again.

I've just had a comment on one of my videos... and I, and I quote, 'ruined a perfectly good song', while addind 'ur gay'.

Happy days, eh?

Anybeatle, how is thou today?

Well, I'm just struggling to understand why everyone seems to be interested about Tiger Woods' private life. So what if he had affairs? It doesn't mean that the world has to grind to a hault just because he got his balls in the deep stuff (one of the many golf related innuendos that I have heard).

Not only that, the logo designers have even gotten onto the bandwaggon.

Look...



I dunno why, but even though I found that image rather funny, I found it a tad harsh. I mean, get off his back. There are other peole in the world who've done so much worse. Jesus man, it's a shite world when Tiger Woods and his affairs beats a death of a soldier in the Afgan war as the top story in the news...

So yeah. In other news. I've discovered that I should never attend another party. Ever.

Why? Because every one I've been to (well, the three I've been to), I've done the same thing, which is sit (or stand, for the first one) around doing nothing of worth. At least in the most recent one (which was Gazzard's birthday party, and also happy birthday for today dude!). I just felt like a prick, just sitting there. Yep, I'm have problems being social full stop. =).

Like today, Lowri (my sister, who's studying BA Acting in Trinity Collage in Carmarthen) came home for the weekend. We had dinner downstairs. I just felt pissing awkward. I mean, everyone (well, my parents and Lowri) were talking about something, and all I did was look down at the floor, trying to eat my food as fast as I can. I mean, how sad is that?... That's a reason why I ain't looking forward to University life...

In other news, I've started doing the one thing I haven't done on Guitar Hero... sing. And, is being able to do a song on Hard any good? Even though if it's a real simple song?..... =).

Also, I've been making some basslines on... well... my bass. I keep doing slap bass though. So that means, like my latest song that I came up with also states, if I write anymore slap bass songs then I'll need to get a new thumb. Thing is, they kind of sound the same as every other bass thing that I've done. Lord, have mercy if I actually record these songs.

I'm going to bugger off now.

Goodbye.

- Fin Finity, Fin Finity, Fin Fin Firro.

But Can You Fake It, For Just One More Show?...

I shall begin with a bang...


BANG.






And yet, more bangage is needed...




So, watch this. I dunno why, I like it.




... Oh, how I wish I could do that...

Anyways, hello to y'all. Yeah, I hate that word too. 'Y'all'. Nearly as much as LOL, stoked and... the most dreaded of all... tummy. Well, any word that ends with '-ummy'. Tummy, mummy, dummy, and so on and so forth, if there's more. I mean, I guess it's okay to say them words to a toddler, but I'd feel a bit nervous if a doctor told me that I had to have loads of stitches in my tummy, and he had consent from my mummy. Man, they're like the worst type of words in the English language. Use stumoch (however you spell it), mother, and whatever the english version of pacifier is. That's all I'm sayin'.

On academic news. I've gone from borderline shit to extremely shit in Chemistry now, and nerly doing the same in Physics. In Music Tech, I've made alright progress on the Blondie song, I'm on the chorus part of all instruments so it's all good so far. Haven't done anything really for the recording task. For the compsition task, I've got a riff (well, chord progression), which sounds rather emo unfortunately. But I'm hoping to punk it up (or at least rock it up, so it matches the acoustic intro) for the choruses (or chorusi) and the other two verses. So yeah, the only course I actually feel like I'm going anywhere in is Music Tech, and I actually rather have the other two being better...

Seriously though, my mathmatical skills have gone down the toilet, but halfway down it had reacted with the water, evaporated, and managed to enter my body through my pitiful need of oxygen to live until the next time I have to go to the toilet. I don't know why. Maybe I'm subconsiously thinking something that's making me become shite, or maybe it's quite simply, that I'm shite at counting. Which is not something I want to admit. Maths has been the only subject that I've been consistantly good at since I was a baby. So, why's it turning on me? Or, should that be why is my brain turning into a mouldy pile of unwanted socks? Yeah, I'll go with that.

Maybe... maybe I'm secretly telling myself, without actually knowing I'm saying it to myself, is 'why bother?'. What's the point in doing these calculations because in a matter of mere dacades, you'd be like the big fish and little fish... in a cardboard box. And I know I've talked about it in a post (if I remember, it was more of an essay...), but for nearly two months now, I've haven't had the subject out of my head. I had like, at least four different moments of mini panic in school.

The most recent one was in Physics. We had Brooks (which, I think, is the best Physics teacher there, but to be fair, it was either her of Humphreys... no competition really). She was on about what monoatomic things where (well, giving a quick explaination on them anyways). And I just thaught, what if we all were electrons, speeding our way around the neuclius in every direction possible? What if we occupy a miniscule section of some alien material? ect... Then I just looked up, and I was slightly breathless. I looked at my hand, but then moved it from my sight, 'cause (somehow) it resembled my mortality'. Random thaughts came to my head. Why are we here? What's the real purpose of life? What songs am I going to play on Guitar Hero when I get home? Nah, I lie about the last one. But still, I'm really scared by this morbid fascination (well, not fascination... but that's the only word I can think of) of death and the afterlife.


Just now, they said on the news that some cook died at the age of sixty-odd. I thaught shit, I'm over a quarter of that age... Michael Jackson wasn't in his sixties when he died/got killed/faked his death (options are depending what you believe, oh and correct me if I'm wrong on his age). And just now, they've got news on the murderer of an eighty-odd year old woman. Murder. How heartless must you be to take another person's life for no reason whatsoever? Even when they've done something major, most of the time it doesn't mean people have the right to wipe their prescence of the face of the earth. But meh, how am I going to stop mass geniside... I dunno. At first I thaught geniside was the murder of genitalia...

So, if you're in school, and you see me looking like I'm thinking about something, there's a good chance I'm thinking about life (or another thing, which I thaught would've gone once this school year started.... more fool me...). Actually that's made me think about something. If you read this, tell me what you think? Either in a comment to this post, or to me in person/MSN/e-mail/smoke signals. I want to know if I'm the only seventeen year old to think this. Most likely I am. But hey, I'd like to see what other people think about what life is, if you think about it often, y'know...

Oh, by the way, I know most people joke about me being emo, with the whole cutting my wrists routine... I just like to point out that I'll never kill myself. And I've never said anything truet than that.

I'm off now... but before I go... a question...

Boris Johnson, true or false?

- Fin.

It Started With A Kiss.

Er. Actually it started with a C power chord... but it didn't have the same pulling factor to get people to read the post. So if you've been fooled. HA!

Anyways. The first full week of school has been, went and taken 168 hours of my life. Felt like every Physics lesson with Humphreys added another three hours onto that. And Charlie's lessons added at least an hour also. So it felt more like 171 hours. But hey ho, lets go.

Finally, the Music Technology coursework's been published yesterday (that's friday to the people who could read this in the future). To be fair, it's not what I was hoping...

The first task, is (to put it simply) to recreate a song in midi form, matching both rhythms and sounds to the original. This time we've got a choice between Superfreak by Rick James or Heart Of Glass by Blondie. I've gone against the majority of the class and decided to do the Blondie song, simply because I like it more. Lovely. I'm just hoping that the song doesn't turn out as annoying as what Tainted Love (last year's coursework) ended up as (Living End's version of the song's my favorate version. Especially with that bass).

Task number two, is basically a carbon copy of what last year's was. This time we have to record a performance of a song that lasts between three and five minutes. I'm toying around with the thaught of playing with this song... and this time, I've embedded the video into my blog. Go me.



I'm sorry that it's a Guitar Hero one. And no, it's not me playing it. I can get 100% on this song, and is it just me or this version (amercain) is different to the European one? I just remember it differently, well that might be because it's on Rock Band 2 as wel. Ah well, at least this shows what the song is. I would've stuck the original music videeo, but the only one I can find didn't let me embed it. Any-enter-something-funny-by-here, about Music Tech. At least eight tracks have to be recorded using microphones, with at least twelve tracks overall. Four of the eight microphone tracks have to be either orchestral/acoustic instruments or percussion. So I've gone with the acoustic one...

And, if you've heard the song before, there aren't really any acoustic intruments there. That's where the joys of changing clean electric guitars to acoustic guitars come in. One down, three to go. Then an idea came into my head, what about either a piano or a harp for the intro? So that's what I'm going to do, the harp for the intro riff, with the piano doing the thing in the second verse part. So that leaves me with one track in need of acoustic fillage. If using acoustic drums are acceptable, then I'm fine, but I doubt that'll work. So, the only thing I can think of is a fidle-type intrument to play the same notes as the bass while the piano does it's thing. Woop, four instruments elegible for the song. Joy.

Oh, rambled on a tad that last post, sorry for that.

The last task is basically a composition task. We have a choice of three briefs this year, but that's another story. Ahem. The first one is basically do six short songs (or shongs) for a cartoon. The second one's basically compose music for a piece of poetry (which they chose a rather emo one, regretably), while the third one is to use samples to potray your feelings towards Obama's presidency. I've gone with the second one. Which, everyone in the class'll call me emo more often. I've actually got a vocal line for the song, only if we're allowed to change the order of the song. If not, I'm fucked.

End of rambling man. Ah, good link to my next part...

Yes.

Guitar Hero 5.

A thousand percent improvement on what World Tour is. Graphics have become more realistic, more sleek. Gameplay's roughly the same, but the charts seemed to have gotten more fun to play (Smells Like Teen Spirit and Song 2 are pretty funky to play when the volume's up). Even the randomness of Elton John and Marvin Gaye's addition to the setlist's added a nice alternative to the whole guitar-driven list. But the best feature (so far, I've only had it for a couple o' days), is the GHJam feature. Basically they've added backing tracks, and you can just go nuts on your instument, which I think is pretty cool. Maybe you could just have that looped while you jam to it on real guitar. Ah, how I bet you've missed Guitar Hero parts of my blogs...

But, talk about bullshit. Guitar Hero:Van Halen's coming out. I saw this offer. It's a good'un too. Basically, you get GH5, you get GH:Van Halen for free. That's fourty quid for two new games. Jesus! I instantly went to get the offer...

Until... I read the T&C's...

Good for US only.

WANKERS.

That's just bastardish.

Ah well, that's enough for Guitar Hero talk. I shall refrain from blogging about it for a while, hopefully.

So, that's the end of this post. I shall end the post with some wise words from the mouth of Frankie Boyle himself...

I'm not a dwarf, I'm a lesbian

- Fin.

Reasons... "Why" Is The Only Word With No Vowels.

I believe it is, anyways.

Y'know, the fact that all vowels are a, e, i, o and u, so technically, y's the other thing.

Oh, this is just so I can boost the 'Reasons...' group of posts. Sorry to deprive you for time...

Anyturnip. It's a Wednesday. Coincidently, tomorrow's a Thursday, and the begining of the week countdown to the first Parti Bondio of the year. Yeah, you've guessed that I'm not going to go.

There's no point really. I don't drink. Don't dance. So, in a party situation, I'm the broken pensil of the group. This is also the time I rather dread the fact that everyone'll talk about the party (well, next Friday, after the party happened). Y'know, most of the blokes will brag about how much booze they downed in two hours and still managed to headbang to S Club 7. Many other people just repeating the same phrases for the next four weeks... oh, I was sooooo drunk that night, or I hope there's another one soon, I wanna get pissed again. Them only being two of the infinite quotes from the people who went.

Laughing. A bit like this... AHAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS AN EPIC FAIL AFTER HE DRANK THAT CIDER. Or something along those lines. I'll be just looking around at different people, with a dim smile on my face, having no real interest on the goings on of the previous night...

Yeah... such a happy aura for this post.... anyways...

I'm not saying they shouldn't orginize these things. Nor am I trying to tell people how to lead their lives. I'm just going to say this, just because you've downed a bottlesworth of vodka, or someone tipped Guinness onto your brand new top that you baught specially for that night. And for the fact that I don't drink...

Come on... it's fun when you're drunk!!

Sorry, I can't see how being so pissed that you fall down on the pavement and sleep. Well yes, that doesn't really happen in these things, well not to my knowledge anyways. I simply cannot see how a beverage that destroys so many people in this world can make a night amazing. Maybe I'm being overdramatic in this subject (well, I can't think of a better word than overdramatic), but the only thing I can do, while the matter of alcahol is on the agenda, is think of all the negative scenes that are implanted in my head...

Y'know the ones... one person making a complete arse of themselves. While others are getting it on with people they've always detested (say, as an example, someone sees the closet gay ruthlessly snogging the well known male homaphobe). Not to mention some people who take it too far, and either get sent to the cells for the night, pass out or worse. Or, what I believe what I'll be if I ever had a drink, the extremely depressing drunk who drowns his thoughts and money.

'Cause, correct me if I'm worng, alcahol has a boosting effect on the body. And I know, that naturally, I'm more on the negative side than the positive. With alcahol, that negativeness will grow with every drink I consume. Also, there's been an image stuck in my head ever since I was young.

In that image, I saw myself. I had messy, short hair, while wearing old, scruffy clothes that looked like they were found in a skip (or baught in ASDA, up to you where like). Holes in my shoes, just sitting on a wooden stool, drinking the money I managed to get somehow. Basically, a total mess. I can't avoid this thaught. The more I think about it, the more detail is there, and the more hope I have that the image of such vomit-inducing nature will never be a reality. You're probably thinking that I have an odd way at looking at life. Well yeah, I do. And I'm glad I do. So I'm in the minority (in school, anyways) that doesn't want to drink. Joy to the world in the fact that there is a minority. If that sentence even makes sense.

Anyways, in other news. Muse's new album has been leaked online a week before its official release. But then again, I don't think there's any album these days that hasn't been leaked in one way or another. Either they've placed the full album on their site, forgeting that many know how to stream and save the audio files. Or someone's managed to get a copy of the CD, and shared it with the world. How much d'you want to bet Paramore's new album's going to be leaked online...

And lo and behold. Time has become the old enemy once more, and I must leave you with a riddle. What will happen when Pinocchio says my nose will grow?

Yeah...

- Fin. Ish.

Re-Education Through Labor.

I believe, that this is my first post in September.

Yeah, I feel the same way too.

There's two days until I land on the final step of the secondary education ladder. Ah well, I'm not going to go into that much.

And as you sigh the biggest sigh of relief, I carry on. Sorry and all that.

It's a basic reflection on the summer. Six weeks. Fourty-two-ish days...

Wasted.

Seriously. There's nothing in this summer that nobody would say that I haven't wasted. All I've done was play on the XBox 360, make up some riffs on the bass and guitar, and move my room around so I have more space on my wall to write on. I'll post some pictures up when I have lost all sense of what 'fresh air' and 'socializing' means and feels. Though, if someone came into my room there's a good possibility that they'd ask me for my chest size so they can buy a straight-jacket for me. And it all started by writing my scores of Free Bird on Hard was... yeah, sad, I know.

Anycow. Since I have an obligation to write essays rather than blogs, I shall dig further into my gaming 'achievements' (well, not of any worth anyways). First up, is finally beating Raining Blood on Expert on both Guitar Hero III and Greatest Hits. I can now complete it 75% of the time, usually scraping through for a three star performance. I've achieved more five star performances on GHIII also, and on GHII. I managed to win the Ashes with England, after making a legspinner to take the place of Panesar (who they stuck in the team). Yeah, I was the pinnacle of sadness as I called the bowler G. John. It's wrong for many things, the first is that my names actually Gareth Aled John. Second, I'm a pace bowler, though I only really do offspin (most probably you don't know the difference, I'll say so after I finnish this paragraph). And third, I had short hair. I also managed to win a couple of majors in Tiger Woods 09, and managed to kill a boss on Prototype that took me five goes to do (bastard). Anyways... sadness (temporarily) over.

By the way, legspin is when the ball turns from the legside to the offside (to a right-handed batsman), while offspin is when the ball turns from offside to legside (again to a right-handed batsman). Offside is the open side of the batsman, while the legside's the side where your legs are. Right hand batsmen's offside is to their right, with their legside to their left, and vice versa to left-handed batsman. Hope that's clear for you. Actually I hope it's right. If not, please correct me? =).

I hope that's right, because cricket is the only sport that I've got a good grasp of knowledge of. Then it's rugby, and then (dare I say) football. Cricket, even though it takes five days to see who won (in test matches), has more ups, downs and turnarounds than I've had punch-ups (which, is none). I mean, in football, a turn of events only really happens when there's a penalty conceded, or when the losing side scores a goal. In cricket, it's all a matter of the turn of the ball. That's how I've been out three times. Three clean-bowled stumpage-ness. First time I batted I was out first ball. Second time, I was out second ball duck (aka no runs scored), which was deceiving, since (I thought) I hit the ball and scored a run, though it hit my pad instead, meaning it counted as a bye, or legbye. The third and final match, I scored five runs. Both times I hit the ball, they were caught-out oppertunaties. But alas, I managed to hit it high enough to get three off the first ball, and two off the second. Then I was out the third or fourth ball. I've bowled in three matches also, and in all I've managed a wicket in all three matches. The first one I believe was LBW. Second was clean bowl. The third one was a catch by the captain. That was also my first time I had a maiden over (no runs conceded), and the first ball of the second over, that was the caught-out wicket.

I did have some insults about me. Mainly because of my bowling action. I looked like a morris dancer, apparently. Or an Irish dancer. Or it looked like I was going to kick the umpire. But that was the way I felt comfy bowling with. It helped with two things though, speed and swing. I can't believe how much inswing I managed to get, let alone the offcut (same as offspin) I got after.

And I just realised how pointless the last few paragraghs are.

Random thing for you. On my results day (joy), my Aunt called the house to ask how I did. Though my dad probably knows how much I hate talking to people I don't talk to much on the phone, he still put me on.

She asked me what I got.

And I told her what I got.

And the next sentence she said, basically in her tone of voice, said it all...

'So, is that enough for you to go into uni?'

Is that enough? Is it?

That single question, made me feel like the thickest person in this families generation. So fucking what, if two D's and a C are more attainable for me than the shining lights and stardom that is straight A's? Seriously, who gives a shit that I'm basically, an average person academically? No well done, no 'are you pleased with your results?'. Just a 'you in college then? Or did you fail miserably, and have to work for less than the minimal wage, to earn a living?'.

Seriously?

Fuck you.

I should've said everything I had. Y'know, 'Oh, that's not half of it. I managed a U in one of the Chemistry papers AND got kicked out of the Art exam right before the coursework was supposed to be sent a week after... I oculd go on, deaest auntie that I haven't seen in ages...'

Oh, it would've cracked her up, knowing I started doing five subjects in September 2008 and dropped out of one due to sheer boredomness (that's Media Studies) and kicked out due to sheer shiteness (that's Art).

Ah well, I should end.

Let's hope I manage to get three B's for my lovely course in Music Technology, where I have to get 300 points.

Noice.

I'm off to watch something funny on YouTube.

- Fin.

"I Walked All The Way To Bangor, But She Wasn't There..."

Er.... if you don't get the title, say it out loud... that's all I can say.

It was either that, or 'Needless Ensemenation'. Your choice....

Anyhill. Fiddle me this and riddle me that, I shall carry on like a failed writer, as I am... I mean, too many comma's in one sentance, if you ask me... also I've just notice I don't really know if you spell it 'sentance' or 'sentence'. Help much?...

Tonight's topics... oh yeah, it's the night. Go figure.

First topic. Football. I'm not really a fan of football, but I know a simple rule that is more true than Noah's Arc... Ahem. There's one rule in football. Fuck, any sport. That thing is this = 'long term consistancy equals success'.

What do I mean?

Take Cardiff and Swansea (football, now). Cardiff (I believe, I say again that I'm not an avid fan of football), have had the same manager and (more or less) the same coaching team for ages now, and so far this season they're doing rather good (I believe won every game?). Now, Swansea, under Martinez (name right?...), managed not only to gain promotion to the first league, but to end up at the top half in the first year in league one. Then, once Martinez left, so far this year they've been a bigger flop than a limp pornstar. Why? No long term consistency...

As much as I hate saying it... take Manchester United. Ferguson's been there for a shaite-long time, and where has it taken him? More silverwear than a magpie can handle. And take Scolari's time at Chelsea. Just because he didn't reach the expectations of the Chelsea Board in the first four-or-so months, they sacked him. That's one reason why Chelsea won't be a major hitter in English football long-term. They demand perfect performances in the short term, and if you can't deliver, you'll deliver the shopping for old pensioners until you lose the ability to grow hair. Mouriniho was one of the best modern managers Chelsea had, I can't remember why he left. Though, I would've done anything in my power to keep him there, at least for another five years... that is if I was on the Chelsea board. Ah well, let's hope the new'un'll stay longer than syphalis does...

Oh, just to add that, I should've wrote 'long term consistancy plus an above average intelligence equals success'. I totally forgot about the US's reign of error, Goerge W. Bush... Ah well.

Next topic. Lodern Mife. Yeah, it'sbasically me having another rant on today's 'celebrity age'. Grrrrr...

Anyroad, since I have AOL, everytime it goes onto the AOL Today page, there's the 'hottest searches' section. Which, I saw, was utter bullshite. I was looking at it, in disbelief, wondering 'how is the murder of someone less important than Jordan and Peter's split?'.

Am I the only person that thinks this? Do you stare, shockingly shocked, everytime you read something that basically says 'Michael Jackson's homicide has more importance in the lives of the world's population than the death and tragedy that has struck some third world country that's been stuck by a natural disaster'? Are you? I mean, FUCK. Yeah, Jackson was someone who brought something new to the mainstream music scene, but I wasn't going 'NO WAY!! OMFGZZ BBZ I'Z TWEETIN DIS SO ALL MY THREE FOLLOWERS CAN READ THIS EPICLOLZZ', I was like 'ah well, at least the sun won't fall on the planet soon'. Oh yeah, that last part of the last sentance was from a song called 'Rockin' Rocks' by Powderfinger. Anyways, I'll carry on with my point... in a NEW PARAGRAGH!! =O.

And here it is. This also enters the whole - and before I say this, I apologise for all textspeak that is overstereotyped...though I wouldn't know, being someone who writes essays in texts - 'WEHN I IS OLDER I'M GONNA BE JUST LYK JORDAN BRITTANIE AND JODIE MARSH COZ THEYRE FAMOUS HAHA LOLAGE'.

Err....

It fills me with dread, not sexual pleasure, if I see Jordan (or Katie Price, meh) on her latest ITV2 show. I believe the new one's about her split with Peter Andre. And I feel myself repeat the same word over and over again in my head...

Food?... Oh sorry, wrong word... the real word is, why? Why doed she publicly go out there (I believe that's the main thing about the public...), and allowing everything to be shown to the world? For the sake of money? Fame? Free boobjobs? Man, I thing that Jordan's New Show was more important that Katona being sacked from doing the Iceland ads for drug sniffage. I mean, to me - and I might sound rather old fasioned here, feck it - Katona's piece of news has more importance for a peice in the news than Jordan's new way of earning money by soaking up more camera lenses than someone who bathes in camera lenses. I'd want to know why Katona was sacked, when she was sacked, what will happen to her (like, is she going to go to rehab to get off the stuff, or something else). Not what Jordan's going to wear in all of her episoded.

And again, old fashioned alert here. Ah, bugger yourself if you think this. I might be, though I do play cricket on the 360, so I'm a bit 'post-modern-old-fashioned-dude'). I can't see what good these so called 'celebrities', like Jordan, Jodie Marsh and them 'glamour girls' are actually doing to the world. I'm not saying they aren't, all I'm saying is that I'm seeing them all spread all over the news/tabloids, most of the time barely clothed, just to stay in the minds of people. I mean, some girls are seeing these 'women', and wanting to do the same thing as they are...

Just to pause there, I put women in the quote things because, they aren't real women, aren't they? They aren't they way they were born. They're just what the tabloids want to have women look like. I mean, not being a pervert here, but I can't see a real point to having breast implants, just for the sake of getting attention. Though, I know of some medical cirumstances when it's acceptable. But when it's there to get more cover stories? Piss off with your plastic boobs and your materialistic views of the world. Women with real boobs are much more superior than you. =).

Also, since I'm on the subject (feck, I'm talking about women again...), what's this fantasy with the public and size zero girls? Not saying 'if your size zero, you have an ugly body', but, if you starve yourself just to fit in some clothes that are the smallest size possible? Seriously, have some fucking food. If you have to have your ribcage revealed everytime your in some ravealing clothing. Give up, you'd look twice as better in the natural size for you than you'd be if you starve yourself. Though, some girls are naturally thin, and it suits them. I mean, it'll look really odd if some girls who are usually size six, eight (I'm guessing here) end up as morbidly obiese. Also, if you're like, size eighteen, twenty or above, that doesn't label you as 'big ugly fatty'. Grrrr. Personally I'd prefer a girl with curves than one with no figure at all... bloody hell.

By the by, no I'm not saying that just to get on the good side of the female's thaughts, I'm just saying what I think... and since posting on my blog's the only time I do it, then so be it. Sorry for all you readers (the whole one and a half of you... the half being the moth upon the other readers computer screen as that person reads it).

And as well, (oh feck, he's off on one again)... I hate the fact that programs like PhotoShop, are being used to 'touch up' girls in a way to make them look totally different than they should look like. and yeah, I use PhotoShop, though I've only airbrushed an image once, and that was to see how it worked (all I did was chance the colour of both eyes and air on some random image). Yeah, sometimes it's good to erase some mishaps - maybe some mascarra had run, or the lipstick faded or some other make-up mishap), then yeah, correct it, if that's all you correct. There's some images when the editor erased the fucking belly button of a girl (which was supposed to look like a natural image... hence the fact that the belly button should be there... unless women don't have belly buttons...). I mean, how stupid can you get? Maybe I've still got an old fashioned view on the world. Y'know the one, where what you see is what you get. Where natural is better than fake. That sort of thing.

But, then I think. Why? Again, I think that three letter word. Acually, is why the only word that has no vowels? Anyby, I write all of this, but to no avail. Story of my life, really. I say all thing like 'I hate the modern way of life', 'I'm going to do something worth remembering with my life', or 'right, I'm going to make myself a pizza'. Yet, I do nothing with it. I don't go out in the real world, and work all the way to my goals (oh yeah, I'll just order the pizza from Domino's), I just possess this world of digicality, taking up space of the interweb, just to fill up the time before I go out to see friends and not think to myself 'Jesus, Ga. You're a fucking loner, eh?', and that's the censored version...

Ah well. Feck it all.

Father Ted's awesome, by the ways.

- Fin, and then some.

*Loads Shotgun, Seductively*.

I begin this post by making a revolting comment that is... well... a slightly better one than the ones I've done in the past ones. I've had two nose-bleeds in the space of a week. Some main questions is, 'what's the fucking point of having your oxygen transporters expel from your nostrils like Niagra Falls when gravity has gone up by three hundred percent?' and 'how come it always comes when your not expecting it?'.

Well, to be fair, humans aren't libraries, aren't we? Nor are we a personal take-away service. I don't go up to my brain and say 'hello, I'd like to order a nose bleed with a side order of extra blood, and please, hold the snot'. I mean, a nose bleed is one thing, but when you have two in a matter of a week... one during a game of golf (yeah, I got myself a Tiger Woods game for the XBox 360. I am sad) and the recent one (you might've guessed, it was just now...) while watching Blackadder Goes Forth on YouTube. Bastard nose.

Well, it seems that the plague of the school holidays have finally attacked me like Gordon Brown attracts bad karma (yeah, I've realised how creative I am with similies... and the fact that I should stop using them). Hardly slept last night. All I remember is staring up to the sky, thinking to myself 'where the fuck's the ceiling gone?' while singing the guitar riff to In Bloom over and over again. Spent four hours watching the whole of series one and three of Blackadder. That was done at about ten this morning, failed at a round of golf. Failed at LMA Manager '07 (... yeah, I kknow). Though, watching random clips from Outnumbered is funny. C'mon, watching a child asking her parents if she can have a nit as a pet... and the mother trying to talk her daughter out of it... it's funny. Ah well. If I can't sleep tonight, expect another blogpost in the night. Balls.

Golden Balls is on now. Joy. There's nothing like four people sreaming and shouting at eachother, trying to convince eachother they're more trustworthy than the next person...

Also, another shaite plea to ask if you could go onto one of my older posts (I think it was three posts past...) and comment on my RCT designs. They'll probably won't be used. Probably 'won't represent the youth of RCT' or some pompus bullshite that's used these days by people too fucking scared to be different and not use Comic Sans as a title. Yeah, not sure what's wrong with me... I think it's the lack of Guitar Hero...

But yeah, if you fancy it, please visit my other post (which is here), going onto the links on there and telling me what they think of the designs, I'll take your opinions on-board and be grateful. However you spell that word.

Oh, how I despise the tellie in the daytime... I can't wait for the twentieth now. At least then I'll probably see one or two people then... oh, and the joys of seeing how shaite I done in my exams. Oh, happy days.

- Fin.

The World Is A Vampire...

Three days to go...

Stage two - Mad Dog.

Yeah, I wasn't lying when I said I'll post everyday this week... =).

What did I do today? Fuck all, to be fair. The only lesson I had was double Music Technology, which was more eventful than finding Jesus on the fifty pence piece. Apart from someone (...) giving me jip just 'cause I play my bass/guitar rather low compared to everyone else. Really, will it kill him? No. So, why complain? Ah well, shaite like that happens.

Other than that, everything was a normal day at the office. Apart from fourth lesson the one's from art found a toy called Mad Dog (ah, I just remembered Mad Dog's on GTA:San Andreas...). It amused them for like, quarter of an hour? Bloody hell. Then it was a Nintendo DSi (the one with the camera, is that called the DSi?...) that occupied their attention. Then the rest is the same as always. Went out for food, sat around listening to other people's conversations while talking rarely, thinking way too much, and sitting down in a way that made me look like I was about to give birth to an elephant. Last lesson was alright on the whole, was back up in Music, it was. Just fucked around on the guitars and piano/keyboard with no amps. I know, I'm surprised too. Well, I like acoustic sounds. I hardly ever use the amp in my room (it's a really small bass amp... happy days). To me, an electric guitar played acousticaly has a cool sound to it....

One thing that's bothering me is... grrr. On the bus home, for most of it, all I could think of is the thing that happened three months ago. I have no idea why though. Am I jealous? Am I paranoid? Am I in need of a brain transplant? The answer to the last one is a definate yes. Not so sure of the other two though. I hope I'm not. Though, as ever with me, there's a good possibility that I have those bad characteristics cemented forever in my name. Bloody hell. Wish I could actually talk about it and not feel like I usually do... grrrrr.

Once again, the rain is falling, falling, oh ever falling from the patchy quilt we call the sky like... er, well, rain falling from the sky... yeah, that's the sort of skills that got me a C in English Literature. Fuck aye.

Well. I have a feeling tomorrow's post will be called Sold Out, or some insanely boring title like that.

Oh, before I go.... watch this. He's an amazing bassist. Not a bad singer either. =).




- Fin.

Blank Page.

Well, at least you wish it was...

I've already posted more posts than last year. I think this'll be my tenth this year. So I'm guessing there's going to be at least thirty by the time September arrives. Lucky, lucky you...

Well, there's nothing really to this post. This is just basically talking to myself via the internet. That said, I haven't had a full blown conversation on any instant messenger service or social networking sites for about three, four months now. Most probably longer. Fuck it. And talking about fucking it...

There's an advert on now for Match.com, saying that there is too many 'hot new women', and they need more men to balance the levels out. To be fair, how many 'hot new women/men' do you expect from a bloody internet dating agency? If they were hot, fit, whatever you moderners call it these days, wouldn't they either have a partner, or actually go outside to find someone? I've never been on any type of dating site (I'd get the moderators banning me for being a prick most probably), but wouldn't they be filled with sad, pathetic loners that are too lazy to meet new people? I don't know, I just don't understand those type of sites... Actually this links good with my next thing I just thought of...

Facebook. Recently I have greatly started to hate it. This is for many reasons. Actually this is not just Facebook, it's to all social networking sites... and MSN....

Well, the main reason is that, well it's pretty awkward for me to describe it really... I'll just have to put it hazily, if that's a word... In school, or if I actually went out to places, I'm more than happy to see some people, even if I don't look happy. I could look like half of my face is frozen, no emotion, yet inside I could think 'Woo'. Yes, I would be THAT ecstatic. But yet, the moment I see that they are on some site, I just feel all wrong. Not because I'd rather bury my face in sulfuric acid than talk to them online, it's because I know that (most probably), they feel that way towards me. Either because I annoy them too much for multiple reasons (my crap guitar/bass/drum playing, or I go on about GH too much, or the fact that I just come up with things they don't like), or they just can't stand me. Don't ask me why I think like this, well, at least not on here. Maybe it's something to do with what happened like a year ago. But then I think, why should it? Ah well. Life's a bitch, I guess...

Another thing I'm not fussed about these sites is, those pathetic pictures where someone tags people on who they think people are in a group of friends. It's just annoying. I've somehow managed to be tagged in these things... not sure if I should be happy or nappy (y'know, not happy...). In one, I'm 'the crazy fuck', in another, 'the downer', and then 'the one that's up to no good' (off memory, like). As you can see, there wasn't the one they really wanted to put me as, either 'the emo in denial' (which, I am not either emo or in denial), 'the one who asks randomly pointless questions', or 'most likely to die a virgin'. Ah, such happiness. I'm also waiting for a political one. With people from parliment on there, and I bet someone'll tag me as Gordon Brown or someone from the BNP....

Also, the bloody status updates. Why? The only time I've updated my status is to tell people of my blog, yet not sure if anyone actually has read it. I'm only sure that one person has read two of my posts (because he's commented on them, thanks RBJ. =)... ). But when someone posts an update just because they've enjoyed their dinner in Nando's or wherever these moderners eat their food, does it really matter? I'm just waiting for one of my friends to post an update saying 'just inhaled from a bong. t'wasn't weed, was actually a peanut butter sarnie, it was nuts, lol'. Grr. And another thing....

Fucking 'lol'. And 'rofl'. They fucking lie all the time. No, you aren't 'rofl'ing if you are typing at that moment. And the fact people actually say these things in real life? It's just to show how socialising has changed. I'm glad texts or any shite modern things weren't in Shakespearian times. Y'know, 'Hey bbz, gonna fake mi deth 2nite lol, 1 way 2 get away from rents, dunt worry ill b up 4 BB l8r rofl'. Guess what play that would've been and you will get free oxigen for a month. Or, what if Lady Macbeth had Twitter... 'Cant get blood off hands, going to use PalmOlive...'. Yes, I have probably gone slightly overboard. But the fact is this, why must we abbreviate every single thing? Lol, rofl, omfg, soad, it's going overboard. And yes, this does make me a hypocrite. I've done it myself, when I use GH instead of Guitar Hero. But I prefer a sentance to be full of words that aren't abbrieviated (and that are spelled properly), I even write numbers as words also. It just seems right. If I am using a mathmatical formulae, then yes, I will use numbers. But if it is online, or writing a number in a sentance, then I will use the word instead. Trash me, I'm not bothered if you do. It's my way of thinking.

I'll finnish soon enough, I've taken up too much space from the internet as it is. My friends are starting bands with eachother/people in their friend circle, yet the bands are either metal or scene (I think anyroad). I too would like to start a band, a punk-esque band, that have GreenDay (Dookie years), Nirvana and bands like those as influences. I don't want to do it for success, money, or anything like that. I just want to try and start something that will produce (hopefully) great music, regardless of if there are lyrics or not. I don't know if I am alone in this, most probably I am. Ah well, if nobody is, I could always try and do something in free lessons in school... well, though we've only got ten days left in that shitehole...

I should piss off now, I've seemed to given you a migrane.

Bye.

"One Baby To Another Says, I'm Lucky To Have Met You"

I shall be frank, well to be fair it's better than being Gareth... damn, I despise the name...

To be fair like, I'm starting to take a real disliking to modern life... It's like, nearly everything these days is about looks, or things that's happening this minute or what happened three days ago, because it was so hilarious/shocking/epic. To be fair, who really cares in the long run? Just because you went out on a night on the tiles, doesn't mean it's good to brag at the fact that 'I had three Carlings and was only slightly hammered'. Yeah, like drinking pissloads of toxins makes you a God amongst men all of a sudden. I can't really imagine, milleniums ago, that stone age dudes were bragging about how many times they had sex with their partners, or how many partners they've had. Big fucking deal.

'Ah, your just jealous because you're still a virgin'....

Yeah, and? Sorry, that was a thing someone said to me on the bus. She was in year seven. That's like twelve, thirteen years old. And she's trying to make me feel bad because I haven't bowed down to peer pressure and bonk the nearest harlet who'd give blowjobs for a packet of Wotsits. I know, I'm going to sound pathetic, but I want my first time to be special, well... with someone I actually care about, be that this year or in ten, twenty years time. How would you feel if you popped your cork for the first time, realising three days before that, the person your cork was popped by had some sort of desiese that made you infertile, or worse could kill you, and you only realised that after you had a test before you tried to start a family with someone you love? Yeah, that's a nice thing to say to your future partner. "Sorry love, no kids for us. I let my shaft rule my head and now I have an uncurable desiese that will eventually kill me in these next few months. On the plus side, you'll get most of my life earnings because you have nice tits"... and no, I'm not like that. I don't mind saying it, or being like that. I hate it though when people try to put me down because of it... or because it's for religious reasons...

If you are religious, please understand that this next paragragh or two is only MY OPINION. If you go all 'BLAH BLAH BLAH YOUR WRONG INNEH BECAUSE GOD IS REAL BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T BE HERE IF HE WEREN'T', you just prove how blinkered your vision is. Because there is more prove to it, I believe that the big bang theory happened, though I wonder what made it. Was it some clouds of gas that existed there before the big bang randomly exploded? Did God (or whoever you believe in) set everything ready, and just pressed a 'generate' button on his version of Windows (or Mac, depending on your outlook on life)? Or did some mythical creature randomly light a fart and aimed it at a blank canvas? See, nobody really knows, innit? And talking about God and that, and I admit I will sound like a pathetic child for this, I don't believe in the same God that Christians, or any religion, does. That said, I do actually believe that something is up there. Yes, I may call him/her God, but he is (again with the patheticness) my God. He's (I'll call God a male for the duration now, less typing, though I believe God can be either male or female) not this ideal being that has not sinned, lived or died. He's this real person, not really having a face that I've seen before (let me guess what your thinking "Gareth's a nut, I knew it", I'm not... much of one anyways), that's actually been on earth, actually seen the same views that I can/will see, even inhaled the same air as I will. Someone who actually has made many more mistakes than you and I will ever do. A human that's done all of this, yet with none of this 'saviour' stuff. And someone who doesn't need to be worshipped endless times a year. You might think now, "That's a bit lazy, Ga", well no it's not. Well, I don't believe so. Just because that if I worshipped God (I'm on about all types now) in a different way than what is expected, then I will be shunned for all eternity and a half. Maybe this is my way of worshipping, maybe actually being alive is worship in itself.

And, like many people in the world, I have majorly contradicted myself, and, unlike many people, I shall admit that with all the strenght that I have (though that's not much, so text'll have to do). Because I accept all the stuff scientists said. I admit that the universe is ever expanding, that the mere fact of us being alive is a lottery that we won. Fuck, I'm bloody taking Chemistry and Physics, for crying out loud! Also, if someone comes up to me, talking about religion, and talking about why they believe in their religion, I will happily listen. But the moment you try to force your beliefs onto me, or try to convert me into your way of thinking, then I instantly shut down all emotion and basically ignore you, not taking anything in. I'm more than happy to understand other cultures more, and that has no word of a lie in that last comment.

That's the religion bullshit done with for now, jsut got a couple of things I feel like I've got to say....

First thing is, basically it about food, and the reasons why I don't eat the 'average amount of food for my age'. Basically, I just see it as a resourse. Food is some items that must be comsumed to gain energy, nutrience and any other helpful stuff. Though I don't see the point in eating food for the sake of it. Before, when I was talking to my mother, she said "you're just like my grandfather". Like me with a pastie a day, he used to have the same meal for years on in. "I asked him why, he replied 'I don't live to eat, I eat to live'", or something along those lines. And that's exactly it. I must eat to stay alive. If we didn't have to eat to live, I wouldn't eat. Or eat as little as possible. Again, this might sound pathetic to you. To be fair, if it does, I'm not bothered. It's my way of thinking, at least we have that these days, innit?

Also, I want to apologise. Apologise to basically everyone. I know I can be a prick at times (at times? And the rest...), and I can honestly say that I don't mean to. I guess I'm slightly illiterate in the social scene (I couldn't think of a word other than illiterate there). Also, the fact that, y'know, just go quiet for no reason whatsoever. It pisses me off to. Lastly, I'm sorry for the fact that I may say sorry over and over. I do feel that I have to constantly apollogise for everything I do/say/think/feel. That's it for the apologies things.

That pretty much covers a lot of things that's built up in me for a long time, apart from one major thing. Though I doubt that'll never come to life online, only by word to someone I feel I can trust them. Only thing really to say about it the title. It's the first line to a Nivarna song, called 'Drain You'. It's a brilliant song from a band that achieved so much, even after they disbanded.

Yep, that's it now. I jsut realised the paragraph that I was apologising in reads like a suicide note. Shit. There is no way I am going to commit suicide. Trust me.

That's all folks.

C'ya.

Thou Shalt Not Post Blogs At An Upmost Rapid Haste...... Bastard.

I've kinda gone blog mad, eh? Ah well, nawt else to do now other than endure six weeks of A level work. Joy. This is literaly how, for one, how bad my spelling and punctuation is, and two how much contact I have with my friends outside of school. Take now, for instance. Three people are on MSN, nobody's talking to me. Sob sob. Then again, I've only got like thirteen people on my contact list. Can't be arsed to have people that I never see on my MSN. It's like buying a pack of fruit pastils, just to have ONE of them. Where's the point in that?

Anyways, enough of my lack of MSN usage. One thing I don't understand, and maybe you might help me with this one (shite, I'm talking to my blog, help?). England just slightly destroyed Andora or some place like that in football. Even though it was on like half an hour ago, on ITV1, they are still playing the highlights in ten minutes. I mean, why the figity fuck? They could have at least put it on like ITV3 or something. Ah fuck it. What's my ranting going to do, eh?

This, is going to sound pathetic. Most likely your response would be 'when don't you sound pathetic?'. Ah well. Apart from realising that I have used the term 'ah well' too many times in recent posts, I've also realised that everytime one small thing happens, I just feel all weird. Like I see one photo and I have the same feelings and thoughts coming up. They both have the 'oh shit' term surrounding it. No idea why this is happening. Though these things go when I see the same thing for a second, third time. Yeah, I know. Pathetic.

To be fair like, these posts I've done that have been closer together and have been shorter. Ah well. There's that phrase again. Expect a long one soon. Maybe if I think of something shaite, I'll try a short story. Don't expect anything better than the other two. I've still got less skill when it comes to writing than I do with playing guitar.

That'll be all, though if you would like to stay, please feel free to have a virtual cookie or seven.

Guten Nacht, homie.

How To Make The Most Dangerous Water Bomb... Innit.

You get some Frankium, you get it into an aeroplane, you fiy it to an ocean and drop the Frankium into the water. Then all you have to do is hope your aeroplane has some nitrous...

Yes, I have a Chemistry exam tomorrow. Why is it that I don't feel like I haven't got an exam?
Why is it that all I feel is that it's just another Chemistry work that I've got to work to, but without the help of any teachers? It's been the same in every exam I've done. From the exams in year three, all the way through to the one's in Sixth form. All I see them as is a piece of paper (which some of them are liars. Blank page, my arse), that I have to work through for a set amount of time. There's only been two exams that I've been nervous about, and both of them were for Welsh Oral in GCSE, and that's because (a) I talk utter bullshit, (b) I feel stupid talking about a subject that I have no feelings towards (that's for the language oral exam) and (c), nobody would really be interested in my opinions so why bother say them anyways? Anyroad, yep, in twelve hours, I'll be sat in the Uned in school, with everyone else going ''SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT CEMEG SHIT CEMEG'', and I'll be just sitting there, wondering why the fudge everyone's so nervous. And then, if I found the paper not bad, but then everyone else thinks it was the hardest thing since Viagra was injected into Titanium, it makes me doubt myself, and makes me feel shaite 'cause I feel big-headed. And there's this whole 'finishing way before the exam's finished' thing I have. Apart from the three exams I've done already (Music Technology and two Physics exams), I've finished every other exam I've done, way before the teacher says ''you have fifteen minutes remaining''. By then I've aready answered every question, read over them three times and counted every brick that faces me straight on. Ah well, I suppose it's better shitting myself before each exam. I do all that for the results day. Happy days.

Well, I'll be off, like the lights in my room. Ehehe.

Au revoir, dudes.

And Then, I Chuckled Some More......

Isn't it lovely? Isn't it wonderful?

Big Brother's off on one again. It's a surprise to me how they've managed to get so many people to do the show (please mind the sarcasm).

And, it's such teeth-grinding experience, isn't it?....

'Day thirty-two, of the big brother house.

Ten-Oh-Six, p.m.

Miranda has decided that she will brush her teeth. Mark and Tania are looking at Tom's arse. While Tim and Eric are having it off in the hot tub, as Jane masturbates whilst trying to conseil her orgasm face in a pillow.'

I mean, come on! What IS the point of it!? See how many pairs of tits we can in a series? Thirteen year old boys will probably bet on who'll 'get them out' first. 

I mean, isn't there more important things in life than watching, I don't know, too many people, sit on their arses for money, while I do it everyday and all I get is a numb arse? It's just stupid, man! That's like me going into Cardiff City Centre, flopping my penis out and masturbating outside Capitol AND EARNING MONEY FROM IT!! And believe me, it doesn't happen..... (joke. =).).

Well, that's my rant over. 

Peace out, dudes.