Because Text

I have discovered something rather normal about my educational life.

And that is the following - I have no imagination.

I can't sit down and plan out what I want to do when it comes to designing shit. Here's two perfect example, set in some rather boring paragraphs.

For university, I have two assignments. The first one asks me to create a 20-30 second title sequence that involves 3D animation, and another asking me to film something and add effects in to it, either simple shit like when someone reads a text on Sherlock or when shit gets real in Harry Potter. And no, I'm not using those examples to gain readers. If I did, I'd state that I'd need to add reason to Justin Bieber's music.

But the thing is, I have no idea what I'm doing. I know what to do technique wise, but for the actual content side of things? Fuck. I'm dead inside. Nothing but soulless examples of the chances of my failing this year increases each day.

Any idea I do have, though, ends up being balls-breakingly difficult or extremely costly. I wanted to do something for the 3D assignment where a sphere falls and breaks on the floor, then the camera focusing to the logo of a news programme. But apparently, you need a plug-in for that, one that costs over £200. Curse you, nameless plug-in.

I'm also kind of dreading my mark for Sound Technology. It's just dawned on me, that module is a smaller manifestation of my entire mathematical life. When I was younger, I was really good at maths. I was almost always in the top ten percent in my year. But with each year passing, I started to progressively worsen. From high 80%s in year seven to barely scratching 55%s in my GCSE year.

It's not that I found the work difficult, it's not. I've always liked maths, and always understood everything I was told, but apparently I can't put it into practice on the examination field.

The same with Sound Tech. If someone asked me to help them set up a Z5 so they could record audio using a boom, I could help them no problem. If they need help editing the audio and making it sound unedited, I could help. But there's always a little thing that someone finds wrong in your work, whether it's an ill-explained reasoning why x is 3 or a misplaced fade out.

It's not a nerve thing, before anyone thinks that. I have never sat down before doing an exam or an assignment and thinking oh shit, I know nothing of what I need to do to pass, shit. I've never done that. When everyone around me was revising the differences between Lithium, Sodium, Magnesium and Potassium while wailing I suck at life, I'll prepare for a life of mediocrity because I don't know which elements have D-orbitals, I was just sitting there, looking over my notes while listening to some Bob Marley.

Am I just a naive idiot? One who thinks he knows his stuff but it turns out that he's just a mediocre wanker with no reason to live other than to siphon light from everyone? I don't know, but that sounds extremely sad, so to happy things up, here's a picture of a hairless cat playing a double bass.

Baaaaaaaaaaaase.

Now, in other news, I'm still alive. I've done what feels like fuck all in every aspect of my life. It feels like I'm doing fuck all with university work, and everything in work is just time consuming (not that I'm complaining about work, it's possibly one of the best things to happen to me since my introduction to Final Fantasy X, and that just shows how much of an arsehole I am).

In other, unrelated news, I'm (still) doing my CLICvlogs as part of my university work. And you know what? I really like doing them. Recently, I've kind of lost faith in them, since we've done nine or so of them and nobody was interested in being a part of it, so it was turning out to being one man and his two vlogs. And if you have no idea what I'm on about, here be link to CLICvlog, and here's another YouTube link.

But yeah, for some reason unknown to me, the past few ones have been really fun to film and edit. Maybe it's because I also filmed a vlog for Sam where he calls Jesus an attention seeker, or maybe it's the most recent one, but they've suddenly become really fun for me. I'm not saying that they were getting boring, but I'm saying that CLICvlog is starting to fulfill one of its primary aims, which is to allow young people to share their views. Yes, CLIC is there for the textual side, and CLICplay is there for video, I just thought that it was a thing to get people who are part of CLIC to join together and create something that (hopefully) everyone would at least watch one or two from time to time.

And all that from a shit idea for a university assignment. I need a life. Pity that won't be happening since I just bought Pokemon Black and Mass Effect 2. Yeah, that's right. Fear my lack of sociability in the next few months.

In other news, I'm done. And I believe my dinner is too. I shall go get it, then come back upstairs to eat it in my room alone. Maybe someday I'll write a shitty Dear World about my relationship with food. Because everyone loves reading everything I say. I'm so awesome.

- Just in case you didn't get the last bit, that was sarcasm. Also, FIN. Why do I still write FIN at the end of these? Who knows, maybe I'll get sponsored by some FIN compony or something. Also, please say I'm not the only one who saw that picture and instantly thought of the last scene of Portal 2?

Break It Down.

Today, I was looking back at the past blog posts, and I stumbled upon the post named Diweddglo, which was written before the Earth had it's two thousandth and tenth birthday. It had four 'hopes' there...

And it got me thinking...

How close am I to them.

Let's revisit them, shall we?...

First one was about the exam results, and my hope that I would get into Swansea Metropolitan University to study Interactive Media Design. This was also before the open day when I went to visit the university. If I haven't said before, it doesn't seem like a good university. To me, for some bizarre reason, the building felt like the old Rhydfelen, but without the soul. The tutors sounded bored out of their skulls, and the only flicker of happiness from the people in the university was the image of a land that time forgot (otherwise known as Swansea itself). Now, I'm not calling Swansea a shitehole. But, it must say something about a university when nearly everyone looks bored and looks like they want out, right?

Luckily, I went to the Atrium for Creative Technologies and Music Technology. I won't bore you with the details of them, but I received offers from both courses. Music Technology for 300 points, and Creative Technologies for 280.

As out of the two Atrium courses Creative Technologies was my first choice, it made no sense for me to make a course that required more points to get into as an insurance, nor did it make any sense to go to a university where the tutors were counting down the days to retirement. So, I went for the Creative Technologies as my first and only choice.

And, about the grades I'm expected, you're better off looking at this post...

The second hope, which was to start a band, or at least work with a songwriter, I'm not sure where I am with that. Nick (who I know from school, if you didn't know) asked if I could be the bassist for his band (or possibly, bands). But, as nothing has really happened yet, I'm still not sure what will arise from his proposition. I still really want to work with a lyricist, even if we become like the band Gorilaz and just exist as animated characters. But, I'm still looking for a wordsmith of sorts...

There's no point talking about the third one. I can't see any chance of finding someone this year. Maybe next year (or decade), Ga?...

And the last one, keeping in contact with the people I like after school finished. I have done that, sort of. Be that meeting up if a pub for Jam Night or seeing some of them during the Wicid meetings. But, lets see what'll happen after September, shall we?...

I also have a question for you. With some things, parents can pass certain traits to their offspring. I remember, during a GCSE Biology lesson, me and my friend were having a discussion, which ended up with him asking the teacher (who was Mr Porter) if gambling was in people's genes. And he said they were. I know (well, I think I know but I'm not sure) that the possibility of certain illnesses is increased if the parent has that illness (for example, some cancers, mental illnesses, others).

So, my question is this. Well, not this, but you know what I mean...

Is alcoholism hereditary?

Answers (or thoughts) are welcome in the form of a comment, a Twitter mention or a passing comment on the street in real life.

But yeah, that is it for now. If I get a why are you asking if alcoholism is hereditary? question sometime, I may elaborate in blog form at a later date. But for now. Au revoir.

- And next on BBC One, The FIN Show...

Alone

Before I get on with this, this has nothing to do with loneliness. I couldn’t think of a better title. But, it does have a link to me…. Yeah, you thought you got away with not getting SoundClouded here… but you were wrong. MWAHAHAHAHA…

Anyways, this is my A Level coursework for Music Technology, called Alone. It’s supposed to reflect the lyrics, and their pretty depressing (lyrics can be seen by clicking the info thing on the side, then clicking the name of the song). And as you can hear, this isn’t really depressing… it’s rather happy. Which is different to the sound people would expect from me, since they kept playing Em9 (guitar chord, for those not in the know) since it (somehow) looks like the word emo. But yeah, here it is. Credit for the solo goes to Adam Hill. =].

A Level Music Technology Coursework - Alone (No Vocals) by CrazyDistortion

And that, my friends, links to what I actually wanted to discuss. And what many a seven- or eighteen year old does not want me to discuss.

Yes, that right.

I’m going to talk about sex.

Nah, I jokes. It’s actually about the exam results.

Cue said seven- or eighteen year olds leaving blog…

I shall continue regardless. I've only thought recently that there's nine, ten days left until I see the three letters of fate that will decide... well... my fate. If I see BBC, then I'm in. If I see anything below a C, then I will live out the one thing that I dreaded since sitting in one of those cabins in the old Rhydfelen.

But, what are the chances of the Atrium taking me if I've failed to earn 280 points? Not good, I believe. But, what do I really need? Do I need 280, or do I need 250?

During the AS year, I did ICT as a basic skills thing (it's sgiliau allweddol in Welsh, though I have no idea what the correct translation to English is, sorry). I have no idea if I passed or not. If I had, I would've had either 20 or 30 UCAS points. If not? Nothing. The only way I have any idea if I did pass or not is if someone else who did ICT Skills has passed. Why? This short course thing is decided by the fact that if one person fails, then everyone fails (or, so I'm told). But, if someone did get a pass in that course, then I would've banked 20 or 30 points. A thousand huzzah's and several packets of tuna to celebrate.

So, what does that mean? If I pass, it means that I now need 260 points to complete the 280. That's two C's and a B in gradespeak. That seems more realistic for me than B-B-C.

But, looking back, I can't see me getting anything better than C-C-D (ie roughly what I had in AS). Basically, I did terrible in the fourth modules in both Chemistry and Physics (earning an E and D in them exams respectively). I did rather well in the Physics practical exams (both the resit and the A level exams), gaining about four more marks in the resit and getting one mark from full marks in the second A level exam. That, when you see who is in my Physics class, is something of an accomplishment... Even in Chemistry, where I shake constantly and unsure of what to do next, I still managed a B for the AS coursework. That is pretty good. And considering that I seemed to do well for the A level coursework in Chemistry (I hope), then that might be my C and D...

But Music Tech might be either my saviour or my downfall. In one sense, I felt that my exams I sat this year went far better than the exam I sat in AS level. The coursework went so much smoother as well. No fuck-ups in the recording song. The MIDI piece sounded much better. Though, I think that the two songs I wrote for the two courseworks (AS and A Level) were, and I hope this doesn't sound big headed and obnoxious, pretty funky indeed. The song I posted at the top of this post was my A level coursework, while this song (a version of No Angel by Dido in the genre of 80's Rock, which I also failed in) sounds rather decent considering it was one of the first songs where I wrote a whole song...

By the by, here's the track.

AS Level Music Technology Coursework - I'm No Angel. by CrazyDistortion

The exams, on the other hand, they felt much better. They felt like I knew the stuff. But, in the A level Music Tech one, the computer buggered up more times than Elton John has. Ha. But, ignoring that cock-up, they went well.

And, that's where the problems begin...

Every exam that I have found remotely good, I did shite at it. Look at CH4 and PH4 earlier this year, I found CH4 (Chemistry 4) much easier than PH4 (Physics 4). But, I managed a D in that Physics paper and an E in CH4. See where I'm staring to worry? I've only found one (well, maybe two) exam(s) hard (not saying I found the others easy, I found the other exams better than shite). So, I will only probably do decent in those exams (funnily enough, both exams in question are the Physics exams). That's not a happy thought, to be fair.

And, sure enough, on the day I will see many people, including many of my friends, celebrating at the fact that they have gotten what they want. I, on the other hand, will probably hide my sadness with a mute smile, as I wonder where I went wrong. Or, I may join in with them. Who knows.

But, let me just add this for the joys of the Welsh language. Even if there is little or no Welsh in this video. But who cares, when it's a sketch from Mitchell And Webb Look? =].



- Why not try our new Mc Chicken FINgers...

Deathbed.

Such a morbid title.

Well, I'm hours (well, days) away from my final exam ever (well, for this year...). Wow, two sentences in and I've already used brackets twice. Lovely.

I shall continue. Because if I don't this'll be a rather short blog.

I have two exams left. Both of them are the fifth module in Chemistry and Physics. Two exams which, while learning them in the last term of school, I felt I should do fine in them, especially in Chemistry. Man, I actually felt like I understood the majority if Chemistry this time. Like, I understand the whole electro-chemistry stuff, with the Hydrogen cell being the point where other cells are measured by. That, and the the most positive cell gets reduced, so the most negative gets oxidized. Man, that's the thing some people in the class find hard, and I got it first time. By the by, that's not me being all "I'm going to pass chemistry with flying colours because I know electrocemeg", no. I'm just hoping that there is a fourty-mark question on that subject, because I know if they ask anything else, I would fail in epic proportions.

It's the same thing in Physics, but the difference is that the subject that I feel confident most in Physics is now nuclear. Yeah, it's basically maths with stupidly small numbers. Shite, and I got to read that CERN thing again... Fuck...

I've already done five exams. Finished Music Technology altogether now. Woo. First exam (an AS resit) was alright, apart from the whole surprise about 'how did Hendrix and Van Halen contribute to Hard Rock?' question. I might have effed that up. The A level exam actually went really well, apart from the computer I used fucked up big time, and the next computer I used. So I had twenty-odd minutes of just sitting there, waiting for a computer just to do something that took about ten minutes. I had a computer that worked at ten past three (in the afternoon), the exam should've ended at about three. Yeah...

CH2 went alright, and CH4 couldn't have gone smoother. Mind you, I said the same last time and managed an E. Fack. Ph4 was a bitch. I didn't even finish it. I don't think I finished half of it. Why is it that I can't finish my Physics exams in A level, and yet still do better in Physics than in Chemistry? Grrrr...

So, in my head I'm thinking that thus far I've got atleast a high D in Music Tech, scraping a C in Chemistry and a D in Physics. Not looking well for the BBC that I need for my uni course...

Ergh, I don't know. I'll need to find a back-up plan...

In other news, I has two more songs up on my SoundCloud. Here's a widget thingy from it, with the two new tracks. =]. If you fancy reading the info on the song, I think if you double click or something on the widget then you can see it on the actual site with the whole info. Yeah...

Latest tracks by CrazyDistortion

I shall leave you now. Because I have no idea what to do now.

Wish me luck.

=].

- Figi Figi FIN FIN.

The Importance Of Being Idle.

I'll be honest with you, I'm in no fit mood to think of anything imaginative now. But fuck it, it's another way to avoid revision. Nearly typed in religion... same thing really.

First, revision. I've kind of come at the same point in my exam life as I was during my GSCE's and, well... pretty much every exam I've sat. I read, nothing goes in. This makes me feel like I've got nothing to do, so I do something to kill the time for an hour or two before I try to revise again. Yet again I fail to embed the knowledge that is required for the exam into my brain, so once again I fill the void of time with browsing the web and on the stringed instruments of despair. Why despair? Well, if I carry on like this (and, our survey says it's a possibility that it will), all I'd be doing during the time between my final exam and the results day is worrying. Worrying if I had the right results. Worrying if I've managed to impress the people who run the Uni course I've applied to enough that they'll take me in regardless on how shite I've dumped on the exam paper. And yet, even though I know all of this will happen three minutes after I hand my final examination paper to the teacher, I know all this will be in my head, and what am I doing? Am I forcing CH4 and PH4 in me? No, I'm doing this post. What hope is there for me?

Talking about hope, one thing I hope for is that I impress PromoCymru enough that they'll start paying me for being Wicid's Sub-Editor. It's a long shot, and even if they do pay me for being sub-editor, it won't be a lot. But then again, something is better than nothing, eh?

Shite, that reminds me. Not the thing I just said in the past paragraph, no. Yeah, the Football World Cup's on. A bunch of failed actors having a competition to see who can act the best. In that case, Argentina, Portugal or Spain will win it hands down, or maybe Italy. God, I hope they don't win. Why can't Ghana or Cameroon win? Eh? Or Holland. Now, that's a team who should win. Man, I have a weird way of looking at teams, eh?

But yeah, while some people are going "Anyone but England", I'm thinking "Anyone but England, Italy, Spain, Portugal or Argentina". Don't ask why, mind.

But, to be fair, fuck the Football world cup. The Rugby one's much better. Not because Wales is better in rugby than football, but I think rugby's a better sport than football... that is all.

And another thing. I can't remember the other thing I was going to expand on, but I forgotted...

Er....

I can only think of finishing this now...

So...

- To FIN, or not to FIN. That, is a takeoff from Hamlett...

Level Complete.

It's done.

Finished.

Wedi ei gwblhau.

C'est finir.

And a lot more ways to say it's done...

Yes, you can tell I'm in that creative mood that makes people want to make babies and eat cheese.

And yes, I have no idea what I am doing.

But one thing's for sure, I have finished school. I have reached a milestone in my life. Thirteen years have past, and I'm none the wiser. Though, I may have completed the level, does not entirely mean that I have passed.

It's like looking down a three chamber barrel of a gun. In one chamber there holds a bullet made of esters and other hydrocarbons. In another, there's a bullet filled with ionized Polonium. In the final one, a bullet that sings through the air and crashes into your heart.

The target? Two B's and a C.

My aim? Three B's.

Anything lower than my target will get me into school for another year (unless I think of another way of arsing through the next years) and be the receiver or all three bullets in a manner of mockery. If I hit my target, the bullets will dissolve in a manner only known to physicists and Australians.

Chances of me hitting that target? A million to one. But, hopefully, I'll be like that song, and still come. And by come, I mean achieve the target.

If you're interested, I have six exams in four months, the first one being on the Seventh of this good month. I already sat the Music Tech resit, and it was good. The only bastard questions was when they asked about how Jimi Hendrix and Van Halen influenced Hard Rock, but I improved it. No idea what I wrote, nor do I want to know. But the matter still stands, I fucked that question up. And we all know that one fucked up question and some minor mistakes equal a big possibility that I won't get anything higher than a B. Sob fucking sob.

I'll inform you on Chemistry and Physics after I sat them. Enter smilie face here...

But, as one thing end, another begins...

Right now, I am on the Clic Residential in Cardiff Bay. I'm in the Urdd Center, I think it's called Gwersyll yr Urdd, but I aren't sure, any Welshies, please correct me. =]. But yeah, Second day, probably going bowling soon. Woopa.

So yeah, that's yesterday and today. I only have to go to school for another six days, kinda odd thought, that. Last time I'll probably see people as well...

That thought kind of freaks me out, mind. I mean, the only sanity I had was the insanity I call my friends in school. But now, the only contact I'll probably have is the odd Facebook chat... ah well. At least I met them, right?

Fuck it, I'm off. I think there's going to be another Workshop in a minute, so better finish up.

- Like school, this post is FIN. Don't judge me on the ending...

Hate This And I'll Love You.

I've got another confession to make. I'm your fool. Everyone's got their chains to break, holding you...

Yeah, Foo Fighters are good, yo.

Anyways, I'd thought I'd do a post. It's been ages since the last one. I did start one on the election, but I lost it. =].

But yeah. Next week's the final week (possibly) of my secondary education. Half of me is relieved, the other petrified. On one hand, I'm relieved that I won't be trapped in a cage filled with overbored kids who only recently discovered that they can open doors. Though, In a matter of days, I'm not going to have a a proper schedule for the day. I'm used to the 'wake up, get changed, go to school, learn things in school, catch bus home' schedule, and yeah. I'll also end up a loner, but that's a given. Hopefully I'll get into University, but my hope of getting B-B-C is looking grimer by the moment. Hopefully I'll scrape a B in Music Tech, but a B and a C in Physics and Chemistry? Fuck, not looking good...

In other news, I'm pregnant. Yes, that's right, I'm pregnant. And it's yours...

Oh, how I fooled you good and proper.

Nah, well anyways.

In other news, I have a new desire to learn to play the harmonica. Even though I had one when I was younger, but I never took it seriously. But now, it just seems like the next obvious step, kind of. But meh, I'll turn into a Jack of all trade, but master of fuck all. =].

And, and, and, and, and, and, and... yeah.

This is a really pointless thing. Sorry brethren. =].

Fuck it, if I think of anything else to write later, I'll add to this.

Hang on, does this mean I'm starting to have a life? I think, not...

- Don't worry, about a FIN.

Army Of One

Before you think, I'm going all commando on yer arse. I ain't. It's an attack on Final Fantasy XIII. Yeah, still haven't beat it yet... I suck at it. Still, well good, it is. Well good.

Anyways, a big HARRO to you all. I don't know where that came from, maybe deep inside my pointless brain.. oh, sobsob and a packet of weed.

Easter has been and gone. It's been that time of year where I just stay in my room, overhearing different arguments and the like. Also, my mother decided to rename Good Friday "Jesus Slaughtering Day", while Easter Sunday is now "Jesus Respawn Day". Oh, my mother is a loss to the Christian faith...

I'll be honest, I haven't done much revision as I'd hope. I have read over Chemistry. I think I understand Rhydocs now (redox in english, y'know). If you look at the EMF of the different things, the most positive reaction thing goes to the right, meaning it gets rhydwytho'd. This is the ocsidydd. Yeah. Sorry for the wenglish there... and if there is anything wrong with what I just said. Cemeg nerds, feel free to correct me. =].

I've realised that there is a shitload of things that we are supposed to read up on for Music Tech, like the development of technology, how MIDI is used, and different genres. I are fucked. Not only that, I haven't finished Heart Of Glass yet... though I might scrap it and do SuperFreak instead. Yeah, I think I will.

In other news, I can do a Rubix cube. Yeah. Even if I had to google the algorithms for the parts where I was stuck at. But because I did that, I can do them nearly everytime now. Pretty sad, I grant you. Adding to this sadness is that I've been timed twice. The first time was during 'Awr Fawr' (yeah...), while we were waiting for something or other, I did it in over two and a half minutes. Though, three days later, a boy on the bus I catch home timed me again, this time the clock stopped at two minutes and six seconds. Beat that, society.

I have also written many pointless things for Wicid. None of them to do with RCT. The latest one is this one about the possibility of Bebo shutting down because AOL can't keep it afloat. I have written an article about the news that Star Wars will become a sitcom, but that's nut up yet...

Anyways, I have accepted the offer from the Atrium for the Creative Technologies course. All I need is work my arse off big time in these nine weeks left of school. And for the first time, I actually hope these go quickly. Nice.

Ah, feck it, this is a short'un. If I find anything to rant about later tonight, I'll edit this post...

- And in recent news, someone somewhere has done something really obscure, and has made someone in somewhere think "man, I wish the writer of this blog hurries up by saying FIN sometime soon". More after this.

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy

Yeah, don't worry. I've just had that Queen title in my head for some reason. Wey.

Anyways, lovely day.

I had my results for CH2, CH4 and PH4 (or, the two chemistry and the physics exams I sat in January). And to be fair, I done crap. Utter crap.

For the course in the Atrium (which is Creative Technologies), I need at least two B's and a C in my overall A level results. After I finished those three module exams, I felt that I was more or less on the road to those grades. Not after I looked at them.

Two E's and a D. The D in Physics.

Man, I felt like an eejit after seeing that. That means that I am now on a D overall for Chemistry, no idea about Physics, maybe slightly better, but not by much. So I am on course for the C I need... all that's left is those B's...

If I work hard at it, Music Tech should yield me a B. It's the best chance for me, I believe. Physics will take a whole lot of shite to work through, especially after the first PH6 exam that I sat last week. Not sure on the grade, but I had sixty percent. Not bad, considering how crap I are usually at them.

Then a week later, I had the results of all the exams I've sat thus far in Sixth Form. I've found out that I am on a borderline C for Physics (the milestone for C is 180... I've got 180... =] ), and six marks away from a C in Chemistry (again, a C needs 180 from the two exams and the practical exam). So yeah, even though it's still looks bleak (well, for me anyways), it's a nicer shade of bleak. Nice.

Also, I may have the results of the practical side of PH6 tomorrow... hope that's a good'un.

Yeah, that's the school stuff's dunne. Yey.

By the ways, I shall start to try to type shite, not shaite. I've had a complaint... Hehe.

Anysupermassiveblackhole, I've realised that I have an odd perspective on life and all that it consumes.

What do I mean? Well, obviously alcohol, life and the modern days... but also...

Women. I shall expand with equal parts hope and dread... =].

I think I'm the only one - at least in school, in my year - who sees a woman and doesn't think I would. I just don't think in that way. Yeah, I'll probably think someone's good looking or whatnot, that don't mean I'd bonk them constantly. And also, though its to the disbelief to some people, I don't think Cheryl Cole's attractive. Sure, she's pretty, but all the same, no. Same to Paramore's Hayley Williams. I just wouldn't. Meh, I know I'm in the minority. In this case, I like being in this minority. Woop.

Don't judge me... =].

In other news. I has Final Fantasy XIII. It's pretty epic, to be fair. I hope this ain't the last Final Fantasy to be on the Xbox 360. I'm only like, a third of the way so far, either that or a quarter. But still, so far, so bleedin' well good. Only problem is, that the Vanille and Serah are supposed to be nineteen (roughly), they look more like fifteen... other than that, it's all good.

I shall leave you now... not before I leave this here...



For some reason, that's been in my head ever since I heard it first... And it has Bruce Willis in it. Well good.

- McFin's.

Everything's Gonna Be Alright

Hello there, fiend/roman/countryman.

Did'cha miss me? Did you even remember me? *goes crying in the corner, then remembering that's an emo thing to do get back on laptop to carry on writing the blog*.

Nah, I joke. =].

So yeah, it has been over a month ago since I posted here last. Honestly? I had nothing interesting to write about, and still don't. But hey, if this help wail the hours away as Alan Titchmarch talks to people about what they are doing on his show, then happy days.

First off, it was the Eisteddfod a couple weeks back. 'Tweren't bad considering it was the last one for me in Rhydfelen/Gartholwg/Enter-name-of-school-and-get-a-free-pack-of-lard. Dafydd, my house, didn't win. Our fellow blues won I believe. But anyways, the one thing I am happy about is wining the 'Grwp Roc' contest (guess what grwp roc stands for... yes, its riverdancing...). I was the replacement drummer in the band 'Dienw' (because, we're so good, we don't need a name...). I was the bassist, but since the original drummer didn't have the time to do it, I stepped in as drummer. I suppose that's a good thing about being able to play more than one instrument... even if it's like that old saying of jack of all trades, master of fuck all. That's me. =].

But anyways, we were the last one's up on stage. And it went alright, well it did considering we won the thing. I made a massive cock-up when my right hand decided that the floor felt lonely and needed a drumstick. Luckily, the dude who owned the drumkit had left a spare pair o' sticks on the bass drum, so I continued on with the bangage, laughing until the end. The funny thing is, when I was talking to people about this incident, only one or two people took notice of this. I'm like, =\ (since I had no idea how to say it in words, so a smilie will do), since it was like a full three, four bars with no drums there. Ah well, imagine if I didn't cock up... Hehe.

In other news, I've kind of found the drum kit I want. Since it's going to fit in my room, an electric one shall be the order of the day. I think it's called the Alesis DM6 Kit. Anyone know if this is good or not? All the reviews that I've seen say it's a decent kit. But I are not sure...

Talking about news. You know Wicid? Well, it's up. The fourth county website connected to the Clic family, the newest one will be from Newport, oo-er. Not only that, I am the sub-editor for the site. =]. Yeah, beat that. I have written one article so far... It's here, bruv. I've uploaded a theme also, it ain't that good...

I have nearly finished a song on Guitar Pro 5, and to me it sounds really close to this (oh, look here, making the reader work out their fingers... er... =]). The song I have made for that Alone poem is nearly done, thanks to a pretty cool solo made by Adam (thanks for that... =]). All I'm going to do is record the distorted guitars (lead and rhythm), the acoustic guitar, maybe the bass, and the vocals. Such happiness in life.

Academically, I'm feeling that I'm on the subjects that could raise my grades by a fair amount. I know it's only getting harder, but I don't mind with the subjects and what they consist of. Yeah, boy. =].

I shall leave you go...

For now.... MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA.

- I don't wanna close my eyes. I don't wanna fall to sleep 'cause I miss you babe, and I don't wanna miss a FIN.

Undisclosed Sanity.

These past few days have been weird.

Yeah, didn't see that coming, eh?

Oh, by the way, the Chipmunks OST is basically the original tracks, but edited. Like someone's actually going to spend money on that...

Anyways. First reason of weirdness. Sleep.

For some reason, I keep waking up during the night and feeling scared and paranoid. I don't know why. This has happened roughly three nights (I think) in the past five. I always do the same thing... wake up all panicky, then stare at my wall to see if my writing is moving (yeah, if you don't know, I've got all writing on my wall). The only problem is that my mind makes me think that it is (maybe because my eyes are tired, I don't know...). Then I head to the light and knock the light on, nothing different. I just stare at my walls to see if there's anything new on the walls - nothing (obvliously...). No idea why I've done this. I'm just freaked out by it, and kind of scared of it happening again...

Not only that, I keep having weird dreams. Example, I was in school, and for some reason a girl was just sitting opposite, but as the dream went on and on (all that was happening was that the majority of the school was in the sports hall, just sitting there), her skirt kept getting higher, showing her inner thighs and ultimately, her vagina. No idea why I dreampt of that, dreaming of a girl whose showing me her vagina. No idea what it meant, so I went online to see what it could mean. I could only find if you see your own vagina in a dream (something to do with sexual urges/needs and/or femininity). But since I didn't see mine (well, I don't have one... or do I?...), so yeah, another thing to be confused about.

And yes, for some reason, I think there's some messages your brain gives you when you dream... Happy days, eh?

The good side is, I've had my first University interview today, for Creative Technologies (Multimedia) in the Atrium (I don't understand why they spell it ATRiuM though.... shame). It was a good'un, I think. The interviewer seemed impressed with the web designs I've done, and the course content is up my street.

Yeah...

So yeah, I have three exams, the first starting this week. The resit, CH2. Hope it goes well, don't fancy another Chemistry resit. Then the week after I have my CH4 and PH4. Should at least pass one of them. =).

I have no idea what to say now. Lucky you.

So I shall say my final word.

- McFin.

Blogging With Attitude.

Before I start. I apologise. Why? I'm in a ranty-mood, kinda. All because of the pure whiteness that flies down from the heavens so gracefully, only to make this island of four (well, three, but on paper, we're alright) to a bloody standstill.

Yes, I'm talking about Marmite... well, snow. It's the same thing, really.

It's the second day of the snow. Well, in Wales it is. It's like if we've never had snow before. This is exactly like last year, though Mother Nature decided to share her offspring with us a month earlier than last year. I mean, they're saying that we've got weeks of this white stuff. On the news, they said that having a rugby match on the sixteenth of this month is being optimistic. I've got an interview then in the Atrium (the first of two). And it'll take the piss if there's no school for another two weeks. I mean, a week was too much last year, but anymore of that, it's pathetic.

Oh, Ga... It's because the council's got no salt left, bro...

And? They've should've learned from last year. Okay, I don't think it was this bad last year, but come on. They've only got enough now for the main roads in RCT now, that's two days in. Fuck me, why can't Tesco go out and sprinkle some of their salt on the ground, eh?

Yes, I'm pissed off over salt, what's the world coming to?

And yet, another thing pissing me off. And why, I do not know.

My school - well I cease to call it my school as it's just another place where I learn and I learn in my room, does that mean that my room's a school?... - have 'redesigned' their website. Let me tell you, don't go on it. Design-wise, it's shocking, it's like it's subliminally saying we're perverts, yeah... Either that or they thaught Well, it's only a school, we'll just blame it on lack of funds. I mean Jesus...

Aside from that, there's no mention of Rhydfelen there. Y'know, the epic school that was falling apart on the outside... but since moving it's falling apart from the inside. Seriously, the only reason why people consider GarthOlwg a school is because they'll know it as the NewRhydfelen (maybe... either that or I just made that up as I run out of things to say... anyways). Man, I just want to hack the stuffing out of the site... but I no know of hackage... so yeah...

Before I carry on, here's two pictures from PunditKitchen




Oh, and this...



Oh, how amusing.... moving on now...

I am hungry, yet I feel sick when I think about eating food. Is this normal?

Who knows, but anylucozade, I want a fucking drum kit that works for Guitar Hero. The connection thing for the bass drums fucked up some how. I'm just waiting for it to implode in a feeble bang... well more like flomp. The Rock Band ones don't feel right on Guitar Hero. But then again, I finally got 100% on a song on Expert on Rock Band. Yeah... it's the easiest song on the fucking thing, but who cares, right? Hehe.

So yeah, to lighten the mood... here's a clip from Argumental...



Don't ask me why I chose one about male genitalia... it's said by Dara O'Brian (sorry if I misspell your name, but what are the chances of you reading me blog...), and he's bloody good at it. Comedy, is what I meant...

Well, I should be off now. I was made in ninety-one, for Christ sake...

- AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH Fin.

Diweddglo

So yeah, this is either the final or the final-but-one post of the year (hence Diweddglo being the title - which means something like to finish off... correct me if I'm wrong, Welshies...).

It's another year... wasted really...

Or was it?

To be fair, I have no clue. I'm not sure what to consider a waste or not. Is reading through countless blogs about design inspiration a waste of time? I don't know...

Well, here are the facts.

First off, I've gotten much better at playing the bass. I would say, well type, that I've improved a shedload since this point last year. I can actually play slap bass alright, maybe in the middle on the scale of awsomeness. I've ditched the pick also... sort of. I still need it to play fast songs like Hysteria (yeah, I know it's actually like eighty-nine beats per minute, but I can't fingerpick it at all), but on the whole, I've learned, at least the basics of, three bass playing techniques. So I suppose that time staying in my room with the bass wasn't such a total loss. Hehe.

But, on the bad side to that, I've still got next to no knowledge on theory. No clue whatsoever. I can only recognise the major scale (well, and the bebop, but that's because I use that constantly in the songs I made up... ah that too...). Only recently I actually understood the pentatonic scale and positions (I think...). Also, I've learned no more chords for the guitar. Woop for me. So guitar-wise, it has been a waste really. But then again, I only really want to learn enough to be a rhythm guitarist (y'know, just keep the rhythm and that shaite, well what the bass does then...).

The 'ah, that too...' thing I wrote in the last praragraph. I've written a hand-and-a-half-ful of songs. Even though most of them are songs-to-be. Only three or so are full blown songs, either finished or nearly finished. The thing is, they are totally different from each other...

The first one, which I called Acoustication is, well... an acoustic song. I think I've said about it before, because I remember writing that I feel that it sounds too middle-of-the-road-like. It's also got the only guitar solo that I can actually play. So yeah, that shows the dificulty of the song. Not only that, it's got a piano in it. Look at me, with the use of different instruments. =). It's about two and a half minutes long... though I might need someone's guiding hand with polishing it and that.

Second one is (for now) called Rather Scene. Balls. I tried to make a rock song, but ended up writing more like a emo-scene song. Not intentionally, I might add. Also, this and the previous song seems predictable. Y'know, even if it's the first time you heard it, you could still guess what would come up. Anyroad.

I'm halfway writing two bass things too. I wouldn't call them solos, so I won't. They are both slap bass. One is an intro idea to an album (well, we can all dream...) and the other would probably would just be a dud.

Sorry about the blabbering on... =).

I think my blogwriting's back.

LUCKY YOU.

Ahoyhoy, one thing I know I've wasted time on is... yeah, Guitar Hero. You know when you've wasted your life when you've four-starred Raining Blood, got your first FC on drums, guitar and bass (that would be Plug In Baby by Muse, which is on GH5) and, not only that, started singing also! Shit! I can't sing!...

Can I?

Obvliously, the answer is no. There's a reason why I write blogs. Nobody really wants to hear my voice. And anycaboodle, five-starring songs on hard vocals doesn't mean you can sing. It just means you've played on that song too many times.

*Insert extreme smilie face here*.

Anyboom. Schoolwise, I'd say I've prooved myself to be a failure of sorts. Maybe thinking too much about death and that shizz made me wonder if there was a point in studying for a place in Uni was worth it. I don't know. I believe my mindset's changed, well at least in the working stakes. I felt like utter shit, looking at my two D's and a C in my AS's. I felt people were laughing at me after I got kicked out of Art. To be fair, I don't care about that now. I'm not even bothered if people are better than me in Chemistry, Physics or Music Tech. As long as there is something I'm better than them at, I don't mind.

I say that, meaning that as long as I have some worth, like I'm not second best at everything. So people might come up to me asking about something. I know, who's ever going to ask me how to change the colour of someone's eyes in PhotoShop or how to do legspin in cricket? Eh, yeah...

Talking about PhotoShop, I'd like your opinion.

Y'know that logo idea and web design I showed you some posts ago? Well, I did a redesign. If you don't mind, could you critique them? =).


This is the webdesign...



... and this is the background I made for it...



The logo I used is exactly the same as I made in the other post. But if they decide to change the logo, I'll ask for a .png file of it and then do more designs.

And that's really it. Not much done this year. I've thaught way too much also, and don't you know it.

So yeah, just to make this longer (not really, I just haven't got anything else to do, so I'm just writing what I'm thinking...), predictions for next year (well, more like hopes).

1 - I will get two B's and a C in my exams, thus being accepted by Swansea Metrepolitain for Interactive Media Design.
2 - I'll start a band, or at least work with a lyricist/songwriters. Writing with other people should be fun...
3 - Dare I say it?... Could there be someone special during Two Thousand and Ten? I hope so, but I highly doubt it...
4 - Hopefully, will keep in contact with the school people that I actually like talking to. Shall be easier and harder once in uni... well once school's over.

So yeah. Bring on Two Thousand and Ten.

NEVER TWENTYTEN. Fuck off with the coupling number shite....

Anyways...

- Happy birthday World... Gareth says FIN.

I Wanna Rush Headlong Into This Ecstasy.

So, yeah. Hi.

Christmas is soon. Yey. And, I don't think I'll be the most festive person alive this year... 'Cause I just see it as just another day. Because it is really, innit? The only difference is that Christians celebrate the birth of Jeeeeeeeesuus. It's just turned from a celebration to a time of year where everyone (well, nearly everyone) wants gifts for no reason apart from receiving some. Meh, but then again, if there is a sixth form party before christmas, I might dress up as a sheep and carrying sweets... just so I can go around saying 'Baaaa! Humbug?'

Yes, that shows how how unwitty I am. =).

On other news, Music Technology feels like it's going from bad to shiteworse. Nothing I write for the composition task doesn't fit the lyrics of the song. I either write stuff that's either too happy or just plain fishplop. And it's taking the royal urine. Also, I've come stuck with the Heart Of Glass and the recording tasks. Fuck me. Not litteraly...

Well.... depends on who you are..... =).

Ahem, anyways. Chemistry and Physics are slowly improving. I hope. Other than that, happy days. And as I write this post (or, type the ten minutes of the reader's lowest point of boredom), I'm in the middle of choosing my university choices and writing a song that's so far, only a drum beat.

The first of the other two things I am doing is (still) searching for a university. I just redone the Stamford Test, and this is the results I received...

- Art/Craft
- Media/Radio/TV/Film
- Computer Engineering
- Computing/IT
- Communication
- Design Studies
- Music

So, the two courses (Music Technology and some sort of Multimedia Design) are still a possibility. Only problem is... where?

So far, I've only put the Atrium (Glamorgan Uni) for Music Technology. I have found a course (interactive Media) which looks like it does everything I want to improve on (audio, image and video) in both Glamorgan and Swansea Metrepolitan University. Hopefully I'll find more later tonight.

Second thing was the song I'm 'writing'. So far it's just a drum beat. Only when I tried to fix the kick pedal for my Guitar Hero drumset did I realise this beat. Yes, I know I have no life. All I need now is to add everything else to the mix.

Ah, I believe I should shut up now. Actually look more deeply for courses.

- Finnished, I am.

Assassin Is Born.

Today, is the greatest, day I've ever known.

Sorry, went into Music Tech mode then. Anyroad, today wasn't the best day for me...

Shall I expand? Tuff, I'm going to anyways...

So, after getting off the bus home, some boy who's been a bastard towards me for no reason, thaught it would be funny if him and his mate would confront me about what happened a couple o' weeks ago on the school bus. Then his mate decided to give an idea to him... Slash him...

So yeah, I've been threatened by someone who's studying their GCSE's (well, I say studying, it's more like deliberately failing since he's only been in school three times in the past five weeks). He seemed to be proud of that, repeating as I walked away rather swiftfully "Look at you, being bullied by someone younger than you" or some shite like that. And as tis was happening, I was listening to Muse. Guess what were the lyrics that were sang?...

Assassin is born.

That last piece of info was there just because I found it rather interesting... so yeah, anyone fancy teaching me self defence?...

In other, less violent news, I've baught the 'GTAIV:- Episodes From Liberty City' game for XBox 360, and so far it's pretty good. Finally get to play Ballad Of Gay Tony. =). And there's a badass SMG there, fuck aye.

Also, I have a question... is it illegal to impersonate a soldier?

I know it's illigal to impersonate a police officer, and doctor, I believe. But, what about a soldier? Hmmmm. Not even a police officer knows...

Sorry, odd thaught.

Anysnake, Them Crooked Vultures' album is out. It better be a good'un. =).

So yeah, that's it.

- Nif.

I'm Not Stupid, I'm Not Smart, It's Like I'm Not Even There At All.

That, is me all over.

To be fair, that song is me all over. The song's 'You're Too Cool' by Gob, by the by. And apparently they're recording a new album soon. Oh yeah, I'm in virtual happiness. Not only the albums from Muse, Paramore and Pearl Jam came out this month, but another Gob album too. FUCKAYE. All that's needed is Rise Against to bring out an 'Unplugged' album and that'll make this year a good'un music wise.

Apart from the Black Eyed Peas song... the one with the words I'm so three thousand and eight, your so two thousand and late... oh na.... oh na.... I feel real sorry for the person who wrote that...

Anyways, how's it going?

Today's been... lets just say... a meh day. A day with two different halfs of the same coin. If that makes sense. And it followed the good, the bad and the ugly setting... but in reverse.

First, the ugly.... and I know you're expecting a photo of me, but the camera broke... so yeah. All I'll say is atoms for this...

Secondly, the bad... dinnertime, I was in a slightly pissed off mood (since the ugly setting happened), so I plodded up to Music Tech, where in the earlier lesson we moved the acoustic drums into the designated room for Music Tech (which is actually used for bass lessons). I just stayed in all dinnertime, and trying to play along with some songs on my iPod. The only things I know on drums are purely because of Guitar Hero.

Needless to say, I was bad. Because I couldn't hear the music properly (and because I misjudged the timings), I was all over the place tempo wise. But I soldiered on (well, it was a way of blocking out the silence in my life....sorry, went all Bill Bailey on your arse there) and managed to do rather feeble covers of some songs. The one I'm happiest about it Re-Education (Through Labor). Fuck yes. Guitar Hero finally helps people. Woo.

Lastly, the good... I will be getting either a new bass or guitar for my eighteenth birthday. Oh yes.

It's not going to be an expensive one, and by that I mean you can have basses that set you back well over three thousand smackers. Y'know the bass I want... it's a Thunderbird IV Goth. I don't know the difference between the normal Thunderbird IV and its Goth counterpart, apart from cost. Ah well, it's only a bass. It's not like people'll hear it, eh?

So yeah, a mixed bag today. Rather dreading tomorrow also. And I misspelled also about three times in that time.

Meh, this shall be the end of tonight's blog.

Maybe the next one'll be an amazing one, filled with twists, turns and scotch eggs.

Well, maybe no twists...

G'bye.

.niF -

But Can You Fake It, For Just One More Show?...

I shall begin with a bang...


BANG.






And yet, more bangage is needed...




So, watch this. I dunno why, I like it.




... Oh, how I wish I could do that...

Anyways, hello to y'all. Yeah, I hate that word too. 'Y'all'. Nearly as much as LOL, stoked and... the most dreaded of all... tummy. Well, any word that ends with '-ummy'. Tummy, mummy, dummy, and so on and so forth, if there's more. I mean, I guess it's okay to say them words to a toddler, but I'd feel a bit nervous if a doctor told me that I had to have loads of stitches in my tummy, and he had consent from my mummy. Man, they're like the worst type of words in the English language. Use stumoch (however you spell it), mother, and whatever the english version of pacifier is. That's all I'm sayin'.

On academic news. I've gone from borderline shit to extremely shit in Chemistry now, and nerly doing the same in Physics. In Music Tech, I've made alright progress on the Blondie song, I'm on the chorus part of all instruments so it's all good so far. Haven't done anything really for the recording task. For the compsition task, I've got a riff (well, chord progression), which sounds rather emo unfortunately. But I'm hoping to punk it up (or at least rock it up, so it matches the acoustic intro) for the choruses (or chorusi) and the other two verses. So yeah, the only course I actually feel like I'm going anywhere in is Music Tech, and I actually rather have the other two being better...

Seriously though, my mathmatical skills have gone down the toilet, but halfway down it had reacted with the water, evaporated, and managed to enter my body through my pitiful need of oxygen to live until the next time I have to go to the toilet. I don't know why. Maybe I'm subconsiously thinking something that's making me become shite, or maybe it's quite simply, that I'm shite at counting. Which is not something I want to admit. Maths has been the only subject that I've been consistantly good at since I was a baby. So, why's it turning on me? Or, should that be why is my brain turning into a mouldy pile of unwanted socks? Yeah, I'll go with that.

Maybe... maybe I'm secretly telling myself, without actually knowing I'm saying it to myself, is 'why bother?'. What's the point in doing these calculations because in a matter of mere dacades, you'd be like the big fish and little fish... in a cardboard box. And I know I've talked about it in a post (if I remember, it was more of an essay...), but for nearly two months now, I've haven't had the subject out of my head. I had like, at least four different moments of mini panic in school.

The most recent one was in Physics. We had Brooks (which, I think, is the best Physics teacher there, but to be fair, it was either her of Humphreys... no competition really). She was on about what monoatomic things where (well, giving a quick explaination on them anyways). And I just thaught, what if we all were electrons, speeding our way around the neuclius in every direction possible? What if we occupy a miniscule section of some alien material? ect... Then I just looked up, and I was slightly breathless. I looked at my hand, but then moved it from my sight, 'cause (somehow) it resembled my mortality'. Random thaughts came to my head. Why are we here? What's the real purpose of life? What songs am I going to play on Guitar Hero when I get home? Nah, I lie about the last one. But still, I'm really scared by this morbid fascination (well, not fascination... but that's the only word I can think of) of death and the afterlife.


Just now, they said on the news that some cook died at the age of sixty-odd. I thaught shit, I'm over a quarter of that age... Michael Jackson wasn't in his sixties when he died/got killed/faked his death (options are depending what you believe, oh and correct me if I'm wrong on his age). And just now, they've got news on the murderer of an eighty-odd year old woman. Murder. How heartless must you be to take another person's life for no reason whatsoever? Even when they've done something major, most of the time it doesn't mean people have the right to wipe their prescence of the face of the earth. But meh, how am I going to stop mass geniside... I dunno. At first I thaught geniside was the murder of genitalia...

So, if you're in school, and you see me looking like I'm thinking about something, there's a good chance I'm thinking about life (or another thing, which I thaught would've gone once this school year started.... more fool me...). Actually that's made me think about something. If you read this, tell me what you think? Either in a comment to this post, or to me in person/MSN/e-mail/smoke signals. I want to know if I'm the only seventeen year old to think this. Most likely I am. But hey, I'd like to see what other people think about what life is, if you think about it often, y'know...

Oh, by the way, I know most people joke about me being emo, with the whole cutting my wrists routine... I just like to point out that I'll never kill myself. And I've never said anything truet than that.

I'm off now... but before I go... a question...

Boris Johnson, true or false?

- Fin.

Reasons... "Why" Is The Only Word With No Vowels.

I believe it is, anyways.

Y'know, the fact that all vowels are a, e, i, o and u, so technically, y's the other thing.

Oh, this is just so I can boost the 'Reasons...' group of posts. Sorry to deprive you for time...

Anyturnip. It's a Wednesday. Coincidently, tomorrow's a Thursday, and the begining of the week countdown to the first Parti Bondio of the year. Yeah, you've guessed that I'm not going to go.

There's no point really. I don't drink. Don't dance. So, in a party situation, I'm the broken pensil of the group. This is also the time I rather dread the fact that everyone'll talk about the party (well, next Friday, after the party happened). Y'know, most of the blokes will brag about how much booze they downed in two hours and still managed to headbang to S Club 7. Many other people just repeating the same phrases for the next four weeks... oh, I was sooooo drunk that night, or I hope there's another one soon, I wanna get pissed again. Them only being two of the infinite quotes from the people who went.

Laughing. A bit like this... AHAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS AN EPIC FAIL AFTER HE DRANK THAT CIDER. Or something along those lines. I'll be just looking around at different people, with a dim smile on my face, having no real interest on the goings on of the previous night...

Yeah... such a happy aura for this post.... anyways...

I'm not saying they shouldn't orginize these things. Nor am I trying to tell people how to lead their lives. I'm just going to say this, just because you've downed a bottlesworth of vodka, or someone tipped Guinness onto your brand new top that you baught specially for that night. And for the fact that I don't drink...

Come on... it's fun when you're drunk!!

Sorry, I can't see how being so pissed that you fall down on the pavement and sleep. Well yes, that doesn't really happen in these things, well not to my knowledge anyways. I simply cannot see how a beverage that destroys so many people in this world can make a night amazing. Maybe I'm being overdramatic in this subject (well, I can't think of a better word than overdramatic), but the only thing I can do, while the matter of alcahol is on the agenda, is think of all the negative scenes that are implanted in my head...

Y'know the ones... one person making a complete arse of themselves. While others are getting it on with people they've always detested (say, as an example, someone sees the closet gay ruthlessly snogging the well known male homaphobe). Not to mention some people who take it too far, and either get sent to the cells for the night, pass out or worse. Or, what I believe what I'll be if I ever had a drink, the extremely depressing drunk who drowns his thoughts and money.

'Cause, correct me if I'm worng, alcahol has a boosting effect on the body. And I know, that naturally, I'm more on the negative side than the positive. With alcahol, that negativeness will grow with every drink I consume. Also, there's been an image stuck in my head ever since I was young.

In that image, I saw myself. I had messy, short hair, while wearing old, scruffy clothes that looked like they were found in a skip (or baught in ASDA, up to you where like). Holes in my shoes, just sitting on a wooden stool, drinking the money I managed to get somehow. Basically, a total mess. I can't avoid this thaught. The more I think about it, the more detail is there, and the more hope I have that the image of such vomit-inducing nature will never be a reality. You're probably thinking that I have an odd way at looking at life. Well yeah, I do. And I'm glad I do. So I'm in the minority (in school, anyways) that doesn't want to drink. Joy to the world in the fact that there is a minority. If that sentence even makes sense.

Anyways, in other news. Muse's new album has been leaked online a week before its official release. But then again, I don't think there's any album these days that hasn't been leaked in one way or another. Either they've placed the full album on their site, forgeting that many know how to stream and save the audio files. Or someone's managed to get a copy of the CD, and shared it with the world. How much d'you want to bet Paramore's new album's going to be leaked online...

And lo and behold. Time has become the old enemy once more, and I must leave you with a riddle. What will happen when Pinocchio says my nose will grow?

Yeah...

- Fin. Ish.

Re-Education Through Labor.

I believe, that this is my first post in September.

Yeah, I feel the same way too.

There's two days until I land on the final step of the secondary education ladder. Ah well, I'm not going to go into that much.

And as you sigh the biggest sigh of relief, I carry on. Sorry and all that.

It's a basic reflection on the summer. Six weeks. Fourty-two-ish days...

Wasted.

Seriously. There's nothing in this summer that nobody would say that I haven't wasted. All I've done was play on the XBox 360, make up some riffs on the bass and guitar, and move my room around so I have more space on my wall to write on. I'll post some pictures up when I have lost all sense of what 'fresh air' and 'socializing' means and feels. Though, if someone came into my room there's a good possibility that they'd ask me for my chest size so they can buy a straight-jacket for me. And it all started by writing my scores of Free Bird on Hard was... yeah, sad, I know.

Anycow. Since I have an obligation to write essays rather than blogs, I shall dig further into my gaming 'achievements' (well, not of any worth anyways). First up, is finally beating Raining Blood on Expert on both Guitar Hero III and Greatest Hits. I can now complete it 75% of the time, usually scraping through for a three star performance. I've achieved more five star performances on GHIII also, and on GHII. I managed to win the Ashes with England, after making a legspinner to take the place of Panesar (who they stuck in the team). Yeah, I was the pinnacle of sadness as I called the bowler G. John. It's wrong for many things, the first is that my names actually Gareth Aled John. Second, I'm a pace bowler, though I only really do offspin (most probably you don't know the difference, I'll say so after I finnish this paragraph). And third, I had short hair. I also managed to win a couple of majors in Tiger Woods 09, and managed to kill a boss on Prototype that took me five goes to do (bastard). Anyways... sadness (temporarily) over.

By the way, legspin is when the ball turns from the legside to the offside (to a right-handed batsman), while offspin is when the ball turns from offside to legside (again to a right-handed batsman). Offside is the open side of the batsman, while the legside's the side where your legs are. Right hand batsmen's offside is to their right, with their legside to their left, and vice versa to left-handed batsman. Hope that's clear for you. Actually I hope it's right. If not, please correct me? =).

I hope that's right, because cricket is the only sport that I've got a good grasp of knowledge of. Then it's rugby, and then (dare I say) football. Cricket, even though it takes five days to see who won (in test matches), has more ups, downs and turnarounds than I've had punch-ups (which, is none). I mean, in football, a turn of events only really happens when there's a penalty conceded, or when the losing side scores a goal. In cricket, it's all a matter of the turn of the ball. That's how I've been out three times. Three clean-bowled stumpage-ness. First time I batted I was out first ball. Second time, I was out second ball duck (aka no runs scored), which was deceiving, since (I thought) I hit the ball and scored a run, though it hit my pad instead, meaning it counted as a bye, or legbye. The third and final match, I scored five runs. Both times I hit the ball, they were caught-out oppertunaties. But alas, I managed to hit it high enough to get three off the first ball, and two off the second. Then I was out the third or fourth ball. I've bowled in three matches also, and in all I've managed a wicket in all three matches. The first one I believe was LBW. Second was clean bowl. The third one was a catch by the captain. That was also my first time I had a maiden over (no runs conceded), and the first ball of the second over, that was the caught-out wicket.

I did have some insults about me. Mainly because of my bowling action. I looked like a morris dancer, apparently. Or an Irish dancer. Or it looked like I was going to kick the umpire. But that was the way I felt comfy bowling with. It helped with two things though, speed and swing. I can't believe how much inswing I managed to get, let alone the offcut (same as offspin) I got after.

And I just realised how pointless the last few paragraghs are.

Random thing for you. On my results day (joy), my Aunt called the house to ask how I did. Though my dad probably knows how much I hate talking to people I don't talk to much on the phone, he still put me on.

She asked me what I got.

And I told her what I got.

And the next sentence she said, basically in her tone of voice, said it all...

'So, is that enough for you to go into uni?'

Is that enough? Is it?

That single question, made me feel like the thickest person in this families generation. So fucking what, if two D's and a C are more attainable for me than the shining lights and stardom that is straight A's? Seriously, who gives a shit that I'm basically, an average person academically? No well done, no 'are you pleased with your results?'. Just a 'you in college then? Or did you fail miserably, and have to work for less than the minimal wage, to earn a living?'.

Seriously?

Fuck you.

I should've said everything I had. Y'know, 'Oh, that's not half of it. I managed a U in one of the Chemistry papers AND got kicked out of the Art exam right before the coursework was supposed to be sent a week after... I oculd go on, deaest auntie that I haven't seen in ages...'

Oh, it would've cracked her up, knowing I started doing five subjects in September 2008 and dropped out of one due to sheer boredomness (that's Media Studies) and kicked out due to sheer shiteness (that's Art).

Ah well, I should end.

Let's hope I manage to get three B's for my lovely course in Music Technology, where I have to get 300 points.

Noice.

I'm off to watch something funny on YouTube.

- Fin.

'Hope This Ain't Classed As Emo'.

I had an odd day yesterday.

It involved a loving twenty-six (ish) hours of awakeness, which started at roughly four, five on the day of the AS level. I managed to beat VeJay Singh in match-play for the first time (his digital skill has a lot to be desired... aspecially because I play on a rather easy dificulty, I suck at many games...). In to time whatsoever it was time for me to hop into my sister's car to go to get the letters. But before that...

Six in the morning. I loaded up the house computer. Waited effing ages for AOL to load up (word of advice... if in doubt, DO NOT FUCKING GET AOL. Man...). Once I did, I went on the Edexcel website. There was (and, I guess, still is) no login section. I spent like, twenty minutes, looking for the poxy thing. Then a brainwave hit me, like, well, a brainwave coming to me. All I had to do was go on the registration page, then change the URL from studentregistration to login. Man, if that's the only thing that I can give to the world... it's that. God help the world.... Well, anyways. I logged in (after having a bugger of a time with the password) and then a lovely screen came up. It had my marks for both coursework and exam paper results for Music Technology.

And, I believe it's a triumph, of sorts.Well, considering that the teacher had no idea what we were supposed to do. But hey. I managed to get a D overall for it. Though, I had a bloody C for my exam, if I had three more marks, I would've had a C overall. A BLOODY C. Ah well, there's next year...

Reached school at nine, with my sister and Ricky in the car. He was stating the obvlious, as always - well, he points at a car, and says 'car' - and then I left them to walk around while I went to get my science results...

Already, people were going YEY or NEY on what they got. The deputy headmaster gave me my results, and low and behold, my prediction of no E's was true...

I had a D overall in Chemistry (despite a massive cock-up involving an unclassified in Chemistry 2). And a C overall in Physics. Once again, the best subject is Physics. If you didn't know, in GCSE year, I only had one A, and that was in Physics. And, saying 'I only had one A', I don't meant that in a 'oh, look at me with my A in Physics', it compares with the majority being C's. So yeah, C-D-D overall, not bad... but by God, it could've been a lot better...

Nothing really happened during the day after that. Managed to infultrate some military bases on Prototype, and if I haven't said it before, get it. =). Anyroad, just vegged out really after that, though I've recently had an urge to get Ashes Cricket 2009 (because I'm too shit to play it in real life). Then, once the night dawned (which, I believe, doesn't make sense), and I went to bed, I couldn't sleep. Why's that? No clue.

But, for some reason, I started to sing a song, in bed. Why? Once more, I have no clue. Though, I never heard the lyrics before... so, I kinda made up a chorus-esque part of a song (which, when I was singing it in my head, sounded rather like Rise Against). And on the same piece of paper, I wrote 'Hope this ain't classed as emo'. and 'Yeah, don't ask' on the top. I would put it here, but since I know it's ten times worse than shaite and I expect everyone will shun me for three eternities and a decade. Then, I couldn't sleep, or I did, but I woke up oddly and I 'looked confused' (see, eye witness there). So I stayed up all night, watching things made by Gordon Ramsey. Lovely.

Nothing else to add... apart from this...



This is a single (not the music video) of Alive by Pearl Jam. One word, my friend, bloody brilliant. Yeah, it's that good, it breaks the one word rule. The first time I heared this, I thought this was one of their newer songs, and I found it weird when I realised this was one of the songs an Ten, an album that is considered one of the best Grunge albums, even beating Nirvana's Nevermind - I personally like Ten more than Nevermind, no idea why... - and yeah, wait until the solo at the end. It scared the shit out of me when I found out he (no idea who done the solo, sorry) done this in one take. No breaks. Bloody hell... But anyways, Eddie Vedder (lead vocals/lyricist) is amazing... if only I could write something that's a tenth of the goodness this song is...

Ah well.

- Fin, but not Finito.