Silent Worker

For a few months now, I've been working on a project.

I, if you believe the credits on it, am the compositor and visual effects person in a DVD that promotes the extending entitlements for young people and making them accessible for those who are deaf or hard of hearing.

I'm not going to talk about the actual project or what I've done. I'm going to talk about the upcoming launch. It's in a few days, and those in work suggested that I'd ask my parents to attend the DVD launch.

I asked a few days ago, stressing that they didn't have to go considering it's on at a time where my father is working.

Half an hour ago, my mother came up to me, telling me that my father managed to get the day off, and they can come to the launch.

And my first reaction to her saying that was that similar to someone who was not pleased.

It's not that I'm not proud of the work that I've done in the project, I suppose the stuff that I've done is of a decent level and at least it's been beneficial to my course in university.

The thing is, and it's something my mother found highly confusing, I despise having anyone from my family watching anything that I do, and likewise vice versa.

It's not that I think they feel obliged to come to whatever I'm a part of, and they must tell me how my work is brilliant and wonderful and not even seventeen pixies who have been working for Bill Gates for three decades can do a better job or whatnot, it's just that... I find it highly awkward when a family member watches something that I've done.

I honestly felt horrible when my mother said that, along with my father, she would be coming to the launch. And besides, it's not worth my father taking the day off for. Him being in work is far more important to the family than some DVD that I help to create.

I know this probably sounds extremely childish or whatnot, but the fact remains - I don't want them to come.

And when I said that to her, she had a bamboozled face. Like I'd slapped her in the face with a can of motor oil while chanting Blink-182 lyrics.

I then gave her examples of times when I felt uneasy going to performances where at least one family member of mine partook in. When MkIII was in university, her last assignment was to perform in piece about something based in Roman times.

I really didn't want to go, so I said that to my mother. She, thinking I was just a sulking teenager, made me go. For the whole time, I really didn't want to be there.

It's not the fact that I thought the performance was bad or anything. It's just the fact that my sister was in the performance.

This has happened many a time, where my parents have thought I was just some soppy teenage prick who only wanted to listen to music that would make me understand the world better or some weird shit like that.

But it wasn't like that at all. I honestly felt highly awkward when seeing anything my sisters were in. I even felt wrong going to see my sister's graduation ceremony.

And before any of you ask, I have no idea why.

I thought I was in the money, considering what my course is about. There's not going to be some show where I ask my parents to come see what I've been working for. But unfortunately, the time has come, and I really don't want any family members to go.

I know, I'll look at this post a few days/weeks/months/years from now and I'll still think that I'm being some self indulgent piss pot. Hopefully my attitudes will change in the future, but I doubt they'll change that much in such a short amount of time.

Ah well.

- I got a bullet with a FIN on it, bullet with a FIN. 

21-Up

Today was my birthday.

Officially, if you abide time and stuff, I will be twenty one once the clock strikes 11:30pm on November the second of this year.

No, this is not me begging for people to wish me a happy birthday or anything like that, I was just stating a fact.

This morning, I woke up and was greeted by my mother. In one hand, she held a card, and in the other a thing that I didn't really think about. I opened the card, and it was the usual fair; "congratulations on living, we're rather fond of your existence" type of thing.

I was then given a gift. Since we're not a well-off family, I assumed it was just a filler, something that she wrapped up just so I could open something on the day of my birth.

I opened it, and it was a ball of bubble wrap. Fair be, I thought.

I then began to open up this ball, which at its centre was an iPod Touch. It didn't matter from what generation it was, an iPod's an iPod at the end of the day.

My first thought, and the first thing I said, after realising what they bought me was are you sure you can afford this?

My mother said they could. She bought it in a sale and slapped it on the credit card. She added that she thought it would be better for me to have a dedicated MP3 player than using my phone, as my old iPod died a few weeks back.

That statement has stayed with me all day. My family have spent years saving up for things. I remember for months, if not years, we were living in a house where we could have no electricity or heating for hours or days. The first computer we had was this weird franken-computer from old pieces years after they started to be big.

For my past few birthdays, all they did was give me some money. Nothing major, just a tenner, or maybe fifteen if things were looking up. So, for them to get me an iPod Touch for something such as my twenty-first... I don't know why, but that hit me big time.

I've never really valued money in the same way as others seem to do. For me, money is not something to just flitter away for a cheap laugh; it's a necessary part of life where it must be treated right.

Maybe some people will look down at me, think I'm just a hoarder, someone who would rather see the colour of money than happy days or whatever. That's not the case. I just never want to be in that situation if/when I have children. Same goes for anyone I care about.

I'm getting off topic. Anyway.

My mother then asked if I had anyone on Facebook asking me why my birthday's not visible. I just said that I don't see the point advertising my birthday to everyone, just so they could quickly write something simple on my wall. I find that just as awkward as someone coming up to me and making me sing happy birthday to a stranger.

I can't explain why, it is just like that for me.

That's why, if I ever wish someone a happy birthday, I always do it via textual communication, and even if I do it would be later in the day.

Anyway, safe to say that only family members have remembered. Which is fair enough. I'm not complaining, considering I've never really publicised my birthday at all.

In work, towards the afternoon, they planned a little thing, which ended in me taking home a piece of cake (which my parents ate, I'm no fan of cakes m'self), a card with all nice words from the people who work there and an A3 piece of paper that has Happy 21st Birthday Gareth! Promo love you. Oh, and the memory of the accountant trying to serenade me. I'm pretty sure I'll never say that again for a long while.

But other than being pre-occupied with the thought of my parents getting me something I thought they wouldn't and what had happened in work, it was a rather normal day.

Which is was my birthday is, really.

So, twenty-year-old me is now dead. Hopefully, twenty one-year-old me would have better luck with everything.

Have a good'un.

- FIN times eight. FIN. FIN. FIN. FIN. FIN. FIN. FIN. FIN.

Re-Education Through Labor.

I believe, that this is my first post in September.

Yeah, I feel the same way too.

There's two days until I land on the final step of the secondary education ladder. Ah well, I'm not going to go into that much.

And as you sigh the biggest sigh of relief, I carry on. Sorry and all that.

It's a basic reflection on the summer. Six weeks. Fourty-two-ish days...

Wasted.

Seriously. There's nothing in this summer that nobody would say that I haven't wasted. All I've done was play on the XBox 360, make up some riffs on the bass and guitar, and move my room around so I have more space on my wall to write on. I'll post some pictures up when I have lost all sense of what 'fresh air' and 'socializing' means and feels. Though, if someone came into my room there's a good possibility that they'd ask me for my chest size so they can buy a straight-jacket for me. And it all started by writing my scores of Free Bird on Hard was... yeah, sad, I know.

Anycow. Since I have an obligation to write essays rather than blogs, I shall dig further into my gaming 'achievements' (well, not of any worth anyways). First up, is finally beating Raining Blood on Expert on both Guitar Hero III and Greatest Hits. I can now complete it 75% of the time, usually scraping through for a three star performance. I've achieved more five star performances on GHIII also, and on GHII. I managed to win the Ashes with England, after making a legspinner to take the place of Panesar (who they stuck in the team). Yeah, I was the pinnacle of sadness as I called the bowler G. John. It's wrong for many things, the first is that my names actually Gareth Aled John. Second, I'm a pace bowler, though I only really do offspin (most probably you don't know the difference, I'll say so after I finnish this paragraph). And third, I had short hair. I also managed to win a couple of majors in Tiger Woods 09, and managed to kill a boss on Prototype that took me five goes to do (bastard). Anyways... sadness (temporarily) over.

By the way, legspin is when the ball turns from the legside to the offside (to a right-handed batsman), while offspin is when the ball turns from offside to legside (again to a right-handed batsman). Offside is the open side of the batsman, while the legside's the side where your legs are. Right hand batsmen's offside is to their right, with their legside to their left, and vice versa to left-handed batsman. Hope that's clear for you. Actually I hope it's right. If not, please correct me? =).

I hope that's right, because cricket is the only sport that I've got a good grasp of knowledge of. Then it's rugby, and then (dare I say) football. Cricket, even though it takes five days to see who won (in test matches), has more ups, downs and turnarounds than I've had punch-ups (which, is none). I mean, in football, a turn of events only really happens when there's a penalty conceded, or when the losing side scores a goal. In cricket, it's all a matter of the turn of the ball. That's how I've been out three times. Three clean-bowled stumpage-ness. First time I batted I was out first ball. Second time, I was out second ball duck (aka no runs scored), which was deceiving, since (I thought) I hit the ball and scored a run, though it hit my pad instead, meaning it counted as a bye, or legbye. The third and final match, I scored five runs. Both times I hit the ball, they were caught-out oppertunaties. But alas, I managed to hit it high enough to get three off the first ball, and two off the second. Then I was out the third or fourth ball. I've bowled in three matches also, and in all I've managed a wicket in all three matches. The first one I believe was LBW. Second was clean bowl. The third one was a catch by the captain. That was also my first time I had a maiden over (no runs conceded), and the first ball of the second over, that was the caught-out wicket.

I did have some insults about me. Mainly because of my bowling action. I looked like a morris dancer, apparently. Or an Irish dancer. Or it looked like I was going to kick the umpire. But that was the way I felt comfy bowling with. It helped with two things though, speed and swing. I can't believe how much inswing I managed to get, let alone the offcut (same as offspin) I got after.

And I just realised how pointless the last few paragraghs are.

Random thing for you. On my results day (joy), my Aunt called the house to ask how I did. Though my dad probably knows how much I hate talking to people I don't talk to much on the phone, he still put me on.

She asked me what I got.

And I told her what I got.

And the next sentence she said, basically in her tone of voice, said it all...

'So, is that enough for you to go into uni?'

Is that enough? Is it?

That single question, made me feel like the thickest person in this families generation. So fucking what, if two D's and a C are more attainable for me than the shining lights and stardom that is straight A's? Seriously, who gives a shit that I'm basically, an average person academically? No well done, no 'are you pleased with your results?'. Just a 'you in college then? Or did you fail miserably, and have to work for less than the minimal wage, to earn a living?'.

Seriously?

Fuck you.

I should've said everything I had. Y'know, 'Oh, that's not half of it. I managed a U in one of the Chemistry papers AND got kicked out of the Art exam right before the coursework was supposed to be sent a week after... I oculd go on, deaest auntie that I haven't seen in ages...'

Oh, it would've cracked her up, knowing I started doing five subjects in September 2008 and dropped out of one due to sheer boredomness (that's Media Studies) and kicked out due to sheer shiteness (that's Art).

Ah well, I should end.

Let's hope I manage to get three B's for my lovely course in Music Technology, where I have to get 300 points.

Noice.

I'm off to watch something funny on YouTube.

- Fin.