Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy

Yeah, don't worry. I've just had that Queen title in my head for some reason. Wey.

Anyways, lovely day.

I had my results for CH2, CH4 and PH4 (or, the two chemistry and the physics exams I sat in January). And to be fair, I done crap. Utter crap.

For the course in the Atrium (which is Creative Technologies), I need at least two B's and a C in my overall A level results. After I finished those three module exams, I felt that I was more or less on the road to those grades. Not after I looked at them.

Two E's and a D. The D in Physics.

Man, I felt like an eejit after seeing that. That means that I am now on a D overall for Chemistry, no idea about Physics, maybe slightly better, but not by much. So I am on course for the C I need... all that's left is those B's...

If I work hard at it, Music Tech should yield me a B. It's the best chance for me, I believe. Physics will take a whole lot of shite to work through, especially after the first PH6 exam that I sat last week. Not sure on the grade, but I had sixty percent. Not bad, considering how crap I are usually at them.

Then a week later, I had the results of all the exams I've sat thus far in Sixth Form. I've found out that I am on a borderline C for Physics (the milestone for C is 180... I've got 180... =] ), and six marks away from a C in Chemistry (again, a C needs 180 from the two exams and the practical exam). So yeah, even though it's still looks bleak (well, for me anyways), it's a nicer shade of bleak. Nice.

Also, I may have the results of the practical side of PH6 tomorrow... hope that's a good'un.

Yeah, that's the school stuff's dunne. Yey.

By the ways, I shall start to try to type shite, not shaite. I've had a complaint... Hehe.

Anysupermassiveblackhole, I've realised that I have an odd perspective on life and all that it consumes.

What do I mean? Well, obviously alcohol, life and the modern days... but also...

Women. I shall expand with equal parts hope and dread... =].

I think I'm the only one - at least in school, in my year - who sees a woman and doesn't think I would. I just don't think in that way. Yeah, I'll probably think someone's good looking or whatnot, that don't mean I'd bonk them constantly. And also, though its to the disbelief to some people, I don't think Cheryl Cole's attractive. Sure, she's pretty, but all the same, no. Same to Paramore's Hayley Williams. I just wouldn't. Meh, I know I'm in the minority. In this case, I like being in this minority. Woop.

Don't judge me... =].

In other news. I has Final Fantasy XIII. It's pretty epic, to be fair. I hope this ain't the last Final Fantasy to be on the Xbox 360. I'm only like, a third of the way so far, either that or a quarter. But still, so far, so bleedin' well good. Only problem is, that the Vanille and Serah are supposed to be nineteen (roughly), they look more like fifteen... other than that, it's all good.

I shall leave you now... not before I leave this here...



For some reason, that's been in my head ever since I heard it first... And it has Bruce Willis in it. Well good.

- McFin's.

Freak On A Leash

Well hello there.

I need to think of better intros.

So yeah, I've a-got a stiff key on my keyboard. The '-' key... though I think it's better now.

This week, I have two exams. Both the third exam of the sciences, and yet they call them CH4 and PH4... ironic?

Nah, but let us pretend that it is, to make my post look evermore amusing...

Anyways, Chemistry's the first one. Not really confident with it, though I doubt I'll cry myself to sleep over it. Then Physics should be better, just about. But on the whole, I bloody hope I get at least C's in both of them, and high ones.

Why?

Well, to put it simply, I need the UCAS points. And on that note, I've got three offers now. WOOP.

The first offer was a couple o'days after my interview with the Atrium... and you can guess where I got the offer from. Yep, from the Atrium (I couldn't think of a witty thing for there). It's a conditional offer (well, all three of 'em are), and I have to get 280 points to get into there to study Creative Technologies (Multimedia). To be fair, I'll probably end up having this as my first choice. Yeah, boy.

The second (and third, since I had them on the same day), I only realized on Friday that I had it (thank you YahooMail for giving me a notification...). Both courses - Interactive Digital Media and Multimedia - are asking for 160 points... with at least two D's. So yeah. I haven't actually seen Swansea Metropolitan University, but they are supposed to be one of the best Universities in Wales (and the UK.. possibly) for digital media. But the Interactive Digital Media course might be my second choice.

I have two more courses to come back to me, both of them are Music Technology for the two Universities that I've applied for (y'know, Atrium and Swansea Met).

And I just saw an advert for a show, and one clip on it made me want it to be Monday and for me to be in school now. Fuck, I thought that was over ages ago. Nevermind...

In other news, which is kind of connected with the university section... Wicid.tv will be launched fully this Wednesday. But since I have a Chemistry exam on that day, I'll probably either miss it or go later, after school (because there's a Physics lesson after the exam). The site's up now, I think. Or at least a test one's up. But yeah, the link's there for ya, bruv.

And yeah, I've started to grow a hatred towards sleep now.

Because, since the beginning of this year, I've had either trouble sleeping, or a really fucked up dream. I either wake up feeling really paranoid, or screaming (well, only once that;s happened) or just thinking where the fuck did that come from? Anyone have any ideas on how these can disappear and allow me to have nice dreams? Ta bruv. =].

Er. I shall go now.

- NIF.

Undisclosed Sanity.

These past few days have been weird.

Yeah, didn't see that coming, eh?

Oh, by the way, the Chipmunks OST is basically the original tracks, but edited. Like someone's actually going to spend money on that...

Anyways. First reason of weirdness. Sleep.

For some reason, I keep waking up during the night and feeling scared and paranoid. I don't know why. This has happened roughly three nights (I think) in the past five. I always do the same thing... wake up all panicky, then stare at my wall to see if my writing is moving (yeah, if you don't know, I've got all writing on my wall). The only problem is that my mind makes me think that it is (maybe because my eyes are tired, I don't know...). Then I head to the light and knock the light on, nothing different. I just stare at my walls to see if there's anything new on the walls - nothing (obvliously...). No idea why I've done this. I'm just freaked out by it, and kind of scared of it happening again...

Not only that, I keep having weird dreams. Example, I was in school, and for some reason a girl was just sitting opposite, but as the dream went on and on (all that was happening was that the majority of the school was in the sports hall, just sitting there), her skirt kept getting higher, showing her inner thighs and ultimately, her vagina. No idea why I dreampt of that, dreaming of a girl whose showing me her vagina. No idea what it meant, so I went online to see what it could mean. I could only find if you see your own vagina in a dream (something to do with sexual urges/needs and/or femininity). But since I didn't see mine (well, I don't have one... or do I?...), so yeah, another thing to be confused about.

And yes, for some reason, I think there's some messages your brain gives you when you dream... Happy days, eh?

The good side is, I've had my first University interview today, for Creative Technologies (Multimedia) in the Atrium (I don't understand why they spell it ATRiuM though.... shame). It was a good'un, I think. The interviewer seemed impressed with the web designs I've done, and the course content is up my street.

Yeah...

So yeah, I have three exams, the first starting this week. The resit, CH2. Hope it goes well, don't fancy another Chemistry resit. Then the week after I have my CH4 and PH4. Should at least pass one of them. =).

I have no idea what to say now. Lucky you.

So I shall say my final word.

- McFin.

You Set My Soul Alight.

I've gone from quoting Smashing Pumpkins to quoting Muse in my blog titles. I suppose it's not a bad thing, eh?

Anyways, did ya miss me?






Thought not.


Well, I would've posted sooner, but I either couldn't be arsed, or - most likely - it's because the charger to my laptop's gone kaput. Thus making me use my parents computer for a few days, which is also making me void of a lot of internet time. Shame. Anyroad, I have to wait a good few days for a new charger. It's a sad day for the beating heart of my laptop, as it's only thirty four percent full.

But, on the plus side, I've been reconnected with Safari, and it's spellchecker function... someone remind me to find a good'un for FireFox, there's a good lad/lass.

So yeah. Nothing much happened this week. Though it was my eighteenth birthday on Monday. That's the only mention I'll say on it, as I can't see it as anymore than just another day. I might say more on it in the next post. Lucky you.

Besides that, nothing's really happening in school. I'm just plodding my way through Chemistry and Physics, while I feel like I'm a headless chicken in Music Tech. I've done nothing of worth in Music Tech, other than record the bass part for Adam's song and make up a bass riff that does not match the lyrics of Alone. Shite. I are fucked.

It kind of shows in what the teacher's predicting me... a C or a D. Yey, I'm not going to improve on my D for AS... apparently.

Er, oh yes. Not only that, but there's another INSET day this friday. And I must be the only person in school to appose is. We just had a week off for Jesus' sake... ah well, at least there's a possibility to see my sister in Carmarthen then.

And this, shall be goodbye... or au revoir, or whatever tickles your linguistical pickle...

- Finoshima.

But Can You Fake It, For Just One More Show?...

I shall begin with a bang...


BANG.






And yet, more bangage is needed...




So, watch this. I dunno why, I like it.




... Oh, how I wish I could do that...

Anyways, hello to y'all. Yeah, I hate that word too. 'Y'all'. Nearly as much as LOL, stoked and... the most dreaded of all... tummy. Well, any word that ends with '-ummy'. Tummy, mummy, dummy, and so on and so forth, if there's more. I mean, I guess it's okay to say them words to a toddler, but I'd feel a bit nervous if a doctor told me that I had to have loads of stitches in my tummy, and he had consent from my mummy. Man, they're like the worst type of words in the English language. Use stumoch (however you spell it), mother, and whatever the english version of pacifier is. That's all I'm sayin'.

On academic news. I've gone from borderline shit to extremely shit in Chemistry now, and nerly doing the same in Physics. In Music Tech, I've made alright progress on the Blondie song, I'm on the chorus part of all instruments so it's all good so far. Haven't done anything really for the recording task. For the compsition task, I've got a riff (well, chord progression), which sounds rather emo unfortunately. But I'm hoping to punk it up (or at least rock it up, so it matches the acoustic intro) for the choruses (or chorusi) and the other two verses. So yeah, the only course I actually feel like I'm going anywhere in is Music Tech, and I actually rather have the other two being better...

Seriously though, my mathmatical skills have gone down the toilet, but halfway down it had reacted with the water, evaporated, and managed to enter my body through my pitiful need of oxygen to live until the next time I have to go to the toilet. I don't know why. Maybe I'm subconsiously thinking something that's making me become shite, or maybe it's quite simply, that I'm shite at counting. Which is not something I want to admit. Maths has been the only subject that I've been consistantly good at since I was a baby. So, why's it turning on me? Or, should that be why is my brain turning into a mouldy pile of unwanted socks? Yeah, I'll go with that.

Maybe... maybe I'm secretly telling myself, without actually knowing I'm saying it to myself, is 'why bother?'. What's the point in doing these calculations because in a matter of mere dacades, you'd be like the big fish and little fish... in a cardboard box. And I know I've talked about it in a post (if I remember, it was more of an essay...), but for nearly two months now, I've haven't had the subject out of my head. I had like, at least four different moments of mini panic in school.

The most recent one was in Physics. We had Brooks (which, I think, is the best Physics teacher there, but to be fair, it was either her of Humphreys... no competition really). She was on about what monoatomic things where (well, giving a quick explaination on them anyways). And I just thaught, what if we all were electrons, speeding our way around the neuclius in every direction possible? What if we occupy a miniscule section of some alien material? ect... Then I just looked up, and I was slightly breathless. I looked at my hand, but then moved it from my sight, 'cause (somehow) it resembled my mortality'. Random thaughts came to my head. Why are we here? What's the real purpose of life? What songs am I going to play on Guitar Hero when I get home? Nah, I lie about the last one. But still, I'm really scared by this morbid fascination (well, not fascination... but that's the only word I can think of) of death and the afterlife.


Just now, they said on the news that some cook died at the age of sixty-odd. I thaught shit, I'm over a quarter of that age... Michael Jackson wasn't in his sixties when he died/got killed/faked his death (options are depending what you believe, oh and correct me if I'm wrong on his age). And just now, they've got news on the murderer of an eighty-odd year old woman. Murder. How heartless must you be to take another person's life for no reason whatsoever? Even when they've done something major, most of the time it doesn't mean people have the right to wipe their prescence of the face of the earth. But meh, how am I going to stop mass geniside... I dunno. At first I thaught geniside was the murder of genitalia...

So, if you're in school, and you see me looking like I'm thinking about something, there's a good chance I'm thinking about life (or another thing, which I thaught would've gone once this school year started.... more fool me...). Actually that's made me think about something. If you read this, tell me what you think? Either in a comment to this post, or to me in person/MSN/e-mail/smoke signals. I want to know if I'm the only seventeen year old to think this. Most likely I am. But hey, I'd like to see what other people think about what life is, if you think about it often, y'know...

Oh, by the way, I know most people joke about me being emo, with the whole cutting my wrists routine... I just like to point out that I'll never kill myself. And I've never said anything truet than that.

I'm off now... but before I go... a question...

Boris Johnson, true or false?

- Fin.

'Hope This Ain't Classed As Emo'.

I had an odd day yesterday.

It involved a loving twenty-six (ish) hours of awakeness, which started at roughly four, five on the day of the AS level. I managed to beat VeJay Singh in match-play for the first time (his digital skill has a lot to be desired... aspecially because I play on a rather easy dificulty, I suck at many games...). In to time whatsoever it was time for me to hop into my sister's car to go to get the letters. But before that...

Six in the morning. I loaded up the house computer. Waited effing ages for AOL to load up (word of advice... if in doubt, DO NOT FUCKING GET AOL. Man...). Once I did, I went on the Edexcel website. There was (and, I guess, still is) no login section. I spent like, twenty minutes, looking for the poxy thing. Then a brainwave hit me, like, well, a brainwave coming to me. All I had to do was go on the registration page, then change the URL from studentregistration to login. Man, if that's the only thing that I can give to the world... it's that. God help the world.... Well, anyways. I logged in (after having a bugger of a time with the password) and then a lovely screen came up. It had my marks for both coursework and exam paper results for Music Technology.

And, I believe it's a triumph, of sorts.Well, considering that the teacher had no idea what we were supposed to do. But hey. I managed to get a D overall for it. Though, I had a bloody C for my exam, if I had three more marks, I would've had a C overall. A BLOODY C. Ah well, there's next year...

Reached school at nine, with my sister and Ricky in the car. He was stating the obvlious, as always - well, he points at a car, and says 'car' - and then I left them to walk around while I went to get my science results...

Already, people were going YEY or NEY on what they got. The deputy headmaster gave me my results, and low and behold, my prediction of no E's was true...

I had a D overall in Chemistry (despite a massive cock-up involving an unclassified in Chemistry 2). And a C overall in Physics. Once again, the best subject is Physics. If you didn't know, in GCSE year, I only had one A, and that was in Physics. And, saying 'I only had one A', I don't meant that in a 'oh, look at me with my A in Physics', it compares with the majority being C's. So yeah, C-D-D overall, not bad... but by God, it could've been a lot better...

Nothing really happened during the day after that. Managed to infultrate some military bases on Prototype, and if I haven't said it before, get it. =). Anyroad, just vegged out really after that, though I've recently had an urge to get Ashes Cricket 2009 (because I'm too shit to play it in real life). Then, once the night dawned (which, I believe, doesn't make sense), and I went to bed, I couldn't sleep. Why's that? No clue.

But, for some reason, I started to sing a song, in bed. Why? Once more, I have no clue. Though, I never heard the lyrics before... so, I kinda made up a chorus-esque part of a song (which, when I was singing it in my head, sounded rather like Rise Against). And on the same piece of paper, I wrote 'Hope this ain't classed as emo'. and 'Yeah, don't ask' on the top. I would put it here, but since I know it's ten times worse than shaite and I expect everyone will shun me for three eternities and a decade. Then, I couldn't sleep, or I did, but I woke up oddly and I 'looked confused' (see, eye witness there). So I stayed up all night, watching things made by Gordon Ramsey. Lovely.

Nothing else to add... apart from this...



This is a single (not the music video) of Alive by Pearl Jam. One word, my friend, bloody brilliant. Yeah, it's that good, it breaks the one word rule. The first time I heared this, I thought this was one of their newer songs, and I found it weird when I realised this was one of the songs an Ten, an album that is considered one of the best Grunge albums, even beating Nirvana's Nevermind - I personally like Ten more than Nevermind, no idea why... - and yeah, wait until the solo at the end. It scared the shit out of me when I found out he (no idea who done the solo, sorry) done this in one take. No breaks. Bloody hell... But anyways, Eddie Vedder (lead vocals/lyricist) is amazing... if only I could write something that's a tenth of the goodness this song is...

Ah well.

- Fin, but not Finito.