Fuck.

Well, now. That's a way to entice readers to... er... read...

Or, it's a way to discourage the people who believe swearing is like placing your tounge into Satan's grasp...

But, I assume your the first example, so if you're sitting comfortably... guessing you are now, let me resume.

Again, fuck.

And again, a wonderful way to entice readers...

What has struck in the lifeless world of this humanoid to enrich the merry monitors with four letters of cursage? Has grieve arrived at his door, or has disappointment rained down on his weary head? Or is it happiness that has filled the heart of stone to exhale a four letter word that is related to shagging?

Er... none of them, really. It's some word trickery that I have failed to cast on your humble self... let me explain...

F - Yaba Daba Doo.

If you aren't well educated in the world of cricket, one of England's best players is Andrew Flintoff, which his nickname is Freddie... see the connection?... Freddie? Fred Flintstone?... Yaba daba doo?... forget it.

Anyways, the fifth and final test of the Ashes finished. To my surprise - oh, and by the by, I'm starting from the beginning then to the end - England racked up a rather impressive first innings score of 300-odd, considering they were bowled all out for 102 in the fourth test, shocking. Then, they proceeded to do to Australia what the Aussies done to the English...

Australia, 160, all out.

I looked at that, thinking, 'someone must've missed out a digit before that'... 160! Jeeez... I'm not sure if that's worse than England's 102-odd all out in the fourth test.. Why? Well, England had their problems, like Freddie being out, and Pieterson, though he's going from bad to even badder. Though, I believe the Aussies had their problems, they still had their main batsmen (who are some of the best in the world, may I add). Then, England's second innings was over 300 declared, meaning they were 500 or so runs ahead. I can't remember a time when England had a better time to win the Ashes than this time, but aye, Australia was shy of a win by 197 runs. Gutting for the Aussies. Happy days for England, and Freddie. His last ever Ashes sees a win for England, nice knowing you, dude. =).

Oh, as well, I'm going to get the Ashes Cricket 2009 game soon, because I am a sad child who enjoys cricket and golf games on the XBox 360. =).

U - Unseen Footage.

This, dare I say it, is ironic. I'm probably wrong, in the definition of 'ironic'.

One word of advice, I have to ITV....

Please, stop putting on 'The X Factor' every night, it get's slightly on people's collective tits after the first show. I've had enough of, for one, repeats of the same show, on different channels, even though they've utilised the good old fasion of 'copycat-ism' and got ITV-Player, in which, I believe, holds the show for over a week? So why bloody bother? Then there's Xtra Factor. Again, this is repeated more times than the amount of series of X Factor put together. And this is the TV we're going to get from ITV until Christmas? The same digested drivel followed by the same digested drivel, only with added undigested drivel? Pathetic.

And it's not only the X Factor to blame. But yes, it's ITV.... Stop, please stop. Oh, how I beg of thee to stop showing highlights of a football match that you've shown live coverage of before the news started. I mean, I can't imagine a more idiotic thing in my life, and I've seen screenshots of the new DJ Hero. Why not stick it on one of the other ITV channels. Though ITV1's for the main shows. ITV2's your 'gossip and comedy' zone (which, BBC3's better... well, for the comedy anyways). ITV3's the drama side with ITV4 being added for, I presume, sport. There you go, put it on that fucking side. Oh, and by the ways, I'd be saying this if it was a Chelsea game also, or Arsenal... and definately Manchester United....

Anyways... on to calmer things...

C - 'Oh, The Light Brings The Olive Tree Into Perspective Soooo Dramatically...'

If you haven't guessed what it is yet, it's creativity... I know, I could just say it, but meh, I tried to make you think... guess I failed you...

Anywho....

I've had an urge to start making (or, should I say, 'attempt to make') desktop backgrounds for... well... desktops... er.... Ahem. Yeah, desktop background. I think they've started dubbing it desktopography. Oh yeah, soooo imaginative. I love the way they haven't used all the vowels... sooo post modern...

Anyways, I've tried doing some before, though they were only really for my use. Only because I kept putting CrazyDistortion on my name. I won't stop doing that though. Somewhere, be it small or the main thing in the piece, CrazyDistortion will be present on the work. Call it my calling card, or watermark. I only really started using CrazyDistortion for practicing typography skills (which, even though it's the easiest part of digital imagery skills, is my strongest section), like the thing I made for the bottom of my blog (I think it's still there). Though, I want to start doing ones with people... and that's where I'm stuck...

I figured, that if I was going to do this, it'll be better to use images of bands, famous people, or models that are royalty-free, than to ask people 'can I use this to make a wallpaper'. Because I've recently started to realise how much of a pervert I sound asking it. I mean, I find it easier doing images of girls (please, don't take that in the wrong way...), because... er... I dunno. It just seems more natural. If I do an edit of a male, it don't feel right. Especially if it's me. I've only edited like, three images of me. Ah well. Anyways, on I go with my thing. In a new paragragh... which will start....

Now. So yeah, the problem is, the only one I see possibilities for a desktop background is Hayley Williams from Paramore. Oh, that link on her name is to one of her that I done a while back. It's okay, just not really happy with how the text came out. Thing is, also, I bet if you say 'Paramore' to someone in the emo-scene scene (and no, I don't have a fetish for repetition, nor for repeating things), they'd say 'Hayley Williams' or 'Misery Business'. So, I feel if I do desktops of her, then I'm basically saying Paramore's a one (wo)man band. But, to be fair, the others aren't bad either. The drummer's not bad at doing his banging. Neither are the two guitarists and bassist. Now, it also makes me feel bad that I've mentioned the whole band, and only named the singer. I do (kinda) know the names of the other ones, I'm just unsure who plays what. Though I think Zach plays drums, with his brother playing lead guitar. And someone called Jeremy on bass... that's about it. Anyways. Anyone got any inspiration for different styles for my to try out? Or even different people to edit? Though, one thing I must mention...

I have a problem. Yes, problem is my middle name. So is 'meh'. Anyways. If any of you say 'MEGAN FOX!! OMGODZZZ I WANNA XYLOPHONE HER SOOO BADZZZ MEGALOLZZ', then, a, you need help making your Caps Lock key unsticky (may I add, stop wanking over her. Pervert... =P). And b, er... how do I say this without being bulldozed by a trillion daggers thrown from the readers eyes... er... No offence dudes... but she's kinda overated. And, to me, I don't really see the attractiveness other people can. I mean, yeah, she's pretty and all, but I wouldn't want say 'I'd tap that like a Van Halen solo'. And, I just realised that for the first time in my blog... I talkted about the attractiveness of a girl (well, a woman... y'know what I mean like). Weird...

Well, I think I went a long time on the subject of the letter C... and no, it's not the rhyming slang for James Blunt...

Last but not least...

K - 'Haha. Rofl. Epic Failzzz'.

Again, let me link it up for you...

Text speak > Talking to people > Having fun > Games > Online games > XBox 360.

No? You don't see it either... good.

Anyroad, it's about the joys of the 360. Well, I say joys...

I mean, not only can you create your own avatar on XBox Live (I've been verbally attacked by my sisters... they keep saying that it looks like a girl... I thought it matched my hair better with that hairstyle... ah well, not changing it...), but you can buy things for it with microsoft points?

*Epic jaw drop*

I mean, how many ways does Microsoft have to swindle people out of money? Grrrrrrrr. Ah well...

I do have another question... is it true that Sky (of some sorts) is coming to 360? I know that FaceBook, Twitter and Last.fm might turn up there, but will Sky TV? And if so, would it be for Gold membership users only? If so... I might get gold... YEY. Well, considering Sky TV is like twenty quid a month, and Xbox Live is £34 a year? And the ability to play online games? Result. =).

Oh yeah, have you seen the new PS3 Slim? Er... nice idea, but nah.... I'm okay with my (se)Xbox 360. =).

Well, well, well. And no, I'm not online after falling down a well...

That shall be the end of the post... and the well's also.... for now...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

S'laterzzzz.

- Fin.

Blank Page.

Well, at least you wish it was...

I've already posted more posts than last year. I think this'll be my tenth this year. So I'm guessing there's going to be at least thirty by the time September arrives. Lucky, lucky you...

Well, there's nothing really to this post. This is just basically talking to myself via the internet. That said, I haven't had a full blown conversation on any instant messenger service or social networking sites for about three, four months now. Most probably longer. Fuck it. And talking about fucking it...

There's an advert on now for Match.com, saying that there is too many 'hot new women', and they need more men to balance the levels out. To be fair, how many 'hot new women/men' do you expect from a bloody internet dating agency? If they were hot, fit, whatever you moderners call it these days, wouldn't they either have a partner, or actually go outside to find someone? I've never been on any type of dating site (I'd get the moderators banning me for being a prick most probably), but wouldn't they be filled with sad, pathetic loners that are too lazy to meet new people? I don't know, I just don't understand those type of sites... Actually this links good with my next thing I just thought of...

Facebook. Recently I have greatly started to hate it. This is for many reasons. Actually this is not just Facebook, it's to all social networking sites... and MSN....

Well, the main reason is that, well it's pretty awkward for me to describe it really... I'll just have to put it hazily, if that's a word... In school, or if I actually went out to places, I'm more than happy to see some people, even if I don't look happy. I could look like half of my face is frozen, no emotion, yet inside I could think 'Woo'. Yes, I would be THAT ecstatic. But yet, the moment I see that they are on some site, I just feel all wrong. Not because I'd rather bury my face in sulfuric acid than talk to them online, it's because I know that (most probably), they feel that way towards me. Either because I annoy them too much for multiple reasons (my crap guitar/bass/drum playing, or I go on about GH too much, or the fact that I just come up with things they don't like), or they just can't stand me. Don't ask me why I think like this, well, at least not on here. Maybe it's something to do with what happened like a year ago. But then I think, why should it? Ah well. Life's a bitch, I guess...

Another thing I'm not fussed about these sites is, those pathetic pictures where someone tags people on who they think people are in a group of friends. It's just annoying. I've somehow managed to be tagged in these things... not sure if I should be happy or nappy (y'know, not happy...). In one, I'm 'the crazy fuck', in another, 'the downer', and then 'the one that's up to no good' (off memory, like). As you can see, there wasn't the one they really wanted to put me as, either 'the emo in denial' (which, I am not either emo or in denial), 'the one who asks randomly pointless questions', or 'most likely to die a virgin'. Ah, such happiness. I'm also waiting for a political one. With people from parliment on there, and I bet someone'll tag me as Gordon Brown or someone from the BNP....

Also, the bloody status updates. Why? The only time I've updated my status is to tell people of my blog, yet not sure if anyone actually has read it. I'm only sure that one person has read two of my posts (because he's commented on them, thanks RBJ. =)... ). But when someone posts an update just because they've enjoyed their dinner in Nando's or wherever these moderners eat their food, does it really matter? I'm just waiting for one of my friends to post an update saying 'just inhaled from a bong. t'wasn't weed, was actually a peanut butter sarnie, it was nuts, lol'. Grr. And another thing....

Fucking 'lol'. And 'rofl'. They fucking lie all the time. No, you aren't 'rofl'ing if you are typing at that moment. And the fact people actually say these things in real life? It's just to show how socialising has changed. I'm glad texts or any shite modern things weren't in Shakespearian times. Y'know, 'Hey bbz, gonna fake mi deth 2nite lol, 1 way 2 get away from rents, dunt worry ill b up 4 BB l8r rofl'. Guess what play that would've been and you will get free oxigen for a month. Or, what if Lady Macbeth had Twitter... 'Cant get blood off hands, going to use PalmOlive...'. Yes, I have probably gone slightly overboard. But the fact is this, why must we abbreviate every single thing? Lol, rofl, omfg, soad, it's going overboard. And yes, this does make me a hypocrite. I've done it myself, when I use GH instead of Guitar Hero. But I prefer a sentance to be full of words that aren't abbrieviated (and that are spelled properly), I even write numbers as words also. It just seems right. If I am using a mathmatical formulae, then yes, I will use numbers. But if it is online, or writing a number in a sentance, then I will use the word instead. Trash me, I'm not bothered if you do. It's my way of thinking.

I'll finnish soon enough, I've taken up too much space from the internet as it is. My friends are starting bands with eachother/people in their friend circle, yet the bands are either metal or scene (I think anyroad). I too would like to start a band, a punk-esque band, that have GreenDay (Dookie years), Nirvana and bands like those as influences. I don't want to do it for success, money, or anything like that. I just want to try and start something that will produce (hopefully) great music, regardless of if there are lyrics or not. I don't know if I am alone in this, most probably I am. Ah well, if nobody is, I could always try and do something in free lessons in school... well, though we've only got ten days left in that shitehole...

I should piss off now, I've seemed to given you a migrane.

Bye.