The Old Man's Still Got It

Congratulations.

No, not to you.

I am congratulating myself, as it is my third time doing these pathetically pointless blogs where I go on about how the past year went, hence the Final Fantasy XIII quote for the title. Perseverance points +3, don't you agree?

Anyway, last year I wrote one about 2010. The last part of the post was me just giving me six points to do over 2011. Now, I get to see if I've got them. Thanks, December 2010 me (you're welcome, December 2011 me).

If you are interested in knowing what they were, but too lazy to click on the above link and scroll down a bit (first world problems, eh?...) then here they be.

1. Do well in university. That's a given.
2. Get better at all instruments. I'll make a detailed list of what level I'd like to get at the instruments of choice.
3. Improve my Welsh. Right now, it is at a shocking level compared to my fiends in my year at school. I want to keep my ability of speaking Welsh, fact.
4. Save money. I haven't done too badly this year, I just need to do more.
5. Do better when helping out with Wicid. All I've done really is write a lot of articles and edit some of the article in the back end. Maybe I could be more involved somehow.
6. I'm not even going to bother having a 'could there be someone special in 2011' one here. Obviously there won't be anyone. Ah, forever alone. Ha.

So, let's see what's happened, eh? 

So, first off, do well in university. I think it's safe to say that I've done that. I've passed myself with as close to a 2:1 as is possible without actually getting a 2:1 and I've started well in my second year. All I've got to do is keep it up. Woop.

The next two points (improve my Welsh and instrument playing abilities) have been an utter fail. I have used the Welsh language more this year (well, more towards the end of the year, really), but I really haven't improved. All I've done is realised how terrible I am at the language.

Musically, I haven't done much. I've came up with two riffs where I have trouble writing them down due to my inability with life. But look on the bright side, I can now play the F chord on a guitar. Granted, only the top strings, so I still can't do barre chords. I am a failure to the music profession (or is it called amateurism?). So with music and the Welsh language in mind, I've been rather mute.

Money wise, I think I've done better than last year. One main point is that I've started the road of earning money. First with Tantrwm, covering an IATEFL event in Brighton, then a quick report of the Eisteddfod in Swansea for Clic (not really a job, but I got paid expenses for it, and considering I didn't spend much of it straight away, I count it) and then I got a part-time job with Promo Cymru to help out with Clic stuff. And yes, I have spent a fair few times, but I'm still in the black in all accounts. So with point four, I call that a success. Joy.

Well, with five, I'm kind of doing that already with me now working for Clic (unless the funding's not going to be there next March, which if it does I won't complain, I'd just be glad for the opportunity in the first place). I've written nearly 52 articles for Wicid alone (almost all of them my Dear World articles), and some of them being live on Clic. Win. I've also helped out with editing a few videos for Clic and will start a vlogging channel for it too (nobody'll be interested, but I'll write a plan of attach tomorrow or something). Happy days, eh?

And lastly, that point will never change. I've accepted that.

So, three out of six isn't that bad, right? But on the whole, I'll call it an above average year.

And I've just reread last year's post, and I found this...

One thing that I've just realised is that I hate Winter. Why? Because it feels like it brings shrouds of doubt and pessimism into my life. I mean, I was looking at all the fireworks displays from countries that are already in 2011, and the only thing I can think of is "we were in an economical crisis not long ago, why are they wasting money on celebrating the entrance of 2010?". 

And this brings me to another point. I need a new outlook on life. For the past few years, I've seen the world through monotonous eyes. Either it is, or it isn't. I can't really describe what my outlook on life is at this moment, bit all I can say for sure that even though I can see happiness and all that everywhere I look, all I can think of is the depression that grips this world, the hatred that fills it and the devastation that is left in it by bastards of it.

So, without me knowing (or admitting it) I had another point for 2011, to change my outlook on life.

And have I?

No. I haven't.

Though rereading that, I wouldn't say that I have pessimism filling up my life. I've started to believe that  I'm a realist. Yes, sometimes I have that thought where the fireworks are just explosions of burning bank notes that will fall and burn on the poorer classes of Britain. But, I don't think that at any point this year, I thought "life isn't worth living" or something similar.

But then again, I've never thought like that. I know that's not really pessimism, I just have no idea how to quote a stereotypical pessimist. Regardless, all I know is that I'm beginning to train myself to see things as they are. I know I complain last year about only being able to see the world through monotonous eyes, but now I think I only do that on certain things. I mean, I don't think that way with people, neither do I think that way with other situations.

I don't know how to describe it, all I know is that I'm beginning to think realistically. I don't become so egotistical and thinking that things can never be bad, while on the other hand I don't pray that things don't get worse. Basically, I know that in the current situation I'm in, things can be better and they can be worse. When you think like that, life seems different. Kind of. I think.

So yeah, I've actually wrote this up much quicker than I thought I would. And now comes to the part of the end-of-year blog post where I state a few points which I hope to do in 2012. In no order whatsoever...

1. Stay up there with my university course. Basically, I'm aiming for a first overall, but I will be content with anything from 2:1 up (or a extremely high 2:2 and up).
2. Improve my abilities with the Welsh language. This should get better due to me translating stuff, but I'm not doing too well at the moment...
3. Don't go into debt (and, if they allow it, stay as a Clic employer for as long as possible - optional).
4. Keep writing my Dear World series (though it might turn from a weekly thing to fortnightly, depending on what else I'm doing).
5. Improve my musical abilities.
6. Complete as many Final Fantasy games as possible. This isn't being serious, I just think it's sad that I've only really completed two of the games (three if you count Dissidia Duodecim) and I've got about five or six of them. It's rather sad to just not complete the games from this epic series (and write reviews for them - optional).
7. Improve your new media skills. And no, I don't mean social media, I mean with editing and design stuff.
8. Build up confidence. I don't mean this so I'd go out more and start performing Shakespeare's plays in the middle of Cardiff, but more so I'd be able to edit a video of myself without flinching over the sound of my voice or how hideous I think I look...

As with every single year, I'm not really bothered about finding "that special someone" in 2012. Not that I don't want to find someone, no. More like I'd rather just let it happen rather than me look for someone in a bar to have awkward sex with them. I'm not going to be disappointed if I don't find someone, and if I do find someone I probably won't tell anyone due to me being rather secretive. Ha.

That's it. I've actually blogged at least once every month of 2011. Do you think I can do it next year? Nah, nobody cares. Ah well, let us stand upon the epic sphere of life and roll into 2012. 

Blog to you next year.

- I hope that someone gets my message in a bottle, FIN.