"I Walked All The Way To Bangor, But She Wasn't There..."

Er.... if you don't get the title, say it out loud... that's all I can say.

It was either that, or 'Needless Ensemenation'. Your choice....

Anyhill. Fiddle me this and riddle me that, I shall carry on like a failed writer, as I am... I mean, too many comma's in one sentance, if you ask me... also I've just notice I don't really know if you spell it 'sentance' or 'sentence'. Help much?...

Tonight's topics... oh yeah, it's the night. Go figure.

First topic. Football. I'm not really a fan of football, but I know a simple rule that is more true than Noah's Arc... Ahem. There's one rule in football. Fuck, any sport. That thing is this = 'long term consistancy equals success'.

What do I mean?

Take Cardiff and Swansea (football, now). Cardiff (I believe, I say again that I'm not an avid fan of football), have had the same manager and (more or less) the same coaching team for ages now, and so far this season they're doing rather good (I believe won every game?). Now, Swansea, under Martinez (name right?...), managed not only to gain promotion to the first league, but to end up at the top half in the first year in league one. Then, once Martinez left, so far this year they've been a bigger flop than a limp pornstar. Why? No long term consistency...

As much as I hate saying it... take Manchester United. Ferguson's been there for a shaite-long time, and where has it taken him? More silverwear than a magpie can handle. And take Scolari's time at Chelsea. Just because he didn't reach the expectations of the Chelsea Board in the first four-or-so months, they sacked him. That's one reason why Chelsea won't be a major hitter in English football long-term. They demand perfect performances in the short term, and if you can't deliver, you'll deliver the shopping for old pensioners until you lose the ability to grow hair. Mouriniho was one of the best modern managers Chelsea had, I can't remember why he left. Though, I would've done anything in my power to keep him there, at least for another five years... that is if I was on the Chelsea board. Ah well, let's hope the new'un'll stay longer than syphalis does...

Oh, just to add that, I should've wrote 'long term consistancy plus an above average intelligence equals success'. I totally forgot about the US's reign of error, Goerge W. Bush... Ah well.

Next topic. Lodern Mife. Yeah, it'sbasically me having another rant on today's 'celebrity age'. Grrrrr...

Anyroad, since I have AOL, everytime it goes onto the AOL Today page, there's the 'hottest searches' section. Which, I saw, was utter bullshite. I was looking at it, in disbelief, wondering 'how is the murder of someone less important than Jordan and Peter's split?'.

Am I the only person that thinks this? Do you stare, shockingly shocked, everytime you read something that basically says 'Michael Jackson's homicide has more importance in the lives of the world's population than the death and tragedy that has struck some third world country that's been stuck by a natural disaster'? Are you? I mean, FUCK. Yeah, Jackson was someone who brought something new to the mainstream music scene, but I wasn't going 'NO WAY!! OMFGZZ BBZ I'Z TWEETIN DIS SO ALL MY THREE FOLLOWERS CAN READ THIS EPICLOLZZ', I was like 'ah well, at least the sun won't fall on the planet soon'. Oh yeah, that last part of the last sentance was from a song called 'Rockin' Rocks' by Powderfinger. Anyways, I'll carry on with my point... in a NEW PARAGRAGH!! =O.

And here it is. This also enters the whole - and before I say this, I apologise for all textspeak that is overstereotyped...though I wouldn't know, being someone who writes essays in texts - 'WEHN I IS OLDER I'M GONNA BE JUST LYK JORDAN BRITTANIE AND JODIE MARSH COZ THEYRE FAMOUS HAHA LOLAGE'.

Err....

It fills me with dread, not sexual pleasure, if I see Jordan (or Katie Price, meh) on her latest ITV2 show. I believe the new one's about her split with Peter Andre. And I feel myself repeat the same word over and over again in my head...

Food?... Oh sorry, wrong word... the real word is, why? Why doed she publicly go out there (I believe that's the main thing about the public...), and allowing everything to be shown to the world? For the sake of money? Fame? Free boobjobs? Man, I thing that Jordan's New Show was more important that Katona being sacked from doing the Iceland ads for drug sniffage. I mean, to me - and I might sound rather old fasioned here, feck it - Katona's piece of news has more importance for a peice in the news than Jordan's new way of earning money by soaking up more camera lenses than someone who bathes in camera lenses. I'd want to know why Katona was sacked, when she was sacked, what will happen to her (like, is she going to go to rehab to get off the stuff, or something else). Not what Jordan's going to wear in all of her episoded.

And again, old fashioned alert here. Ah, bugger yourself if you think this. I might be, though I do play cricket on the 360, so I'm a bit 'post-modern-old-fashioned-dude'). I can't see what good these so called 'celebrities', like Jordan, Jodie Marsh and them 'glamour girls' are actually doing to the world. I'm not saying they aren't, all I'm saying is that I'm seeing them all spread all over the news/tabloids, most of the time barely clothed, just to stay in the minds of people. I mean, some girls are seeing these 'women', and wanting to do the same thing as they are...

Just to pause there, I put women in the quote things because, they aren't real women, aren't they? They aren't they way they were born. They're just what the tabloids want to have women look like. I mean, not being a pervert here, but I can't see a real point to having breast implants, just for the sake of getting attention. Though, I know of some medical cirumstances when it's acceptable. But when it's there to get more cover stories? Piss off with your plastic boobs and your materialistic views of the world. Women with real boobs are much more superior than you. =).

Also, since I'm on the subject (feck, I'm talking about women again...), what's this fantasy with the public and size zero girls? Not saying 'if your size zero, you have an ugly body', but, if you starve yourself just to fit in some clothes that are the smallest size possible? Seriously, have some fucking food. If you have to have your ribcage revealed everytime your in some ravealing clothing. Give up, you'd look twice as better in the natural size for you than you'd be if you starve yourself. Though, some girls are naturally thin, and it suits them. I mean, it'll look really odd if some girls who are usually size six, eight (I'm guessing here) end up as morbidly obiese. Also, if you're like, size eighteen, twenty or above, that doesn't label you as 'big ugly fatty'. Grrrr. Personally I'd prefer a girl with curves than one with no figure at all... bloody hell.

By the by, no I'm not saying that just to get on the good side of the female's thaughts, I'm just saying what I think... and since posting on my blog's the only time I do it, then so be it. Sorry for all you readers (the whole one and a half of you... the half being the moth upon the other readers computer screen as that person reads it).

And as well, (oh feck, he's off on one again)... I hate the fact that programs like PhotoShop, are being used to 'touch up' girls in a way to make them look totally different than they should look like. and yeah, I use PhotoShop, though I've only airbrushed an image once, and that was to see how it worked (all I did was chance the colour of both eyes and air on some random image). Yeah, sometimes it's good to erase some mishaps - maybe some mascarra had run, or the lipstick faded or some other make-up mishap), then yeah, correct it, if that's all you correct. There's some images when the editor erased the fucking belly button of a girl (which was supposed to look like a natural image... hence the fact that the belly button should be there... unless women don't have belly buttons...). I mean, how stupid can you get? Maybe I've still got an old fashioned view on the world. Y'know the one, where what you see is what you get. Where natural is better than fake. That sort of thing.

But, then I think. Why? Again, I think that three letter word. Acually, is why the only word that has no vowels? Anyby, I write all of this, but to no avail. Story of my life, really. I say all thing like 'I hate the modern way of life', 'I'm going to do something worth remembering with my life', or 'right, I'm going to make myself a pizza'. Yet, I do nothing with it. I don't go out in the real world, and work all the way to my goals (oh yeah, I'll just order the pizza from Domino's), I just possess this world of digicality, taking up space of the interweb, just to fill up the time before I go out to see friends and not think to myself 'Jesus, Ga. You're a fucking loner, eh?', and that's the censored version...

Ah well. Feck it all.

Father Ted's awesome, by the ways.

- Fin, and then some.

Fuck.

Well, now. That's a way to entice readers to... er... read...

Or, it's a way to discourage the people who believe swearing is like placing your tounge into Satan's grasp...

But, I assume your the first example, so if you're sitting comfortably... guessing you are now, let me resume.

Again, fuck.

And again, a wonderful way to entice readers...

What has struck in the lifeless world of this humanoid to enrich the merry monitors with four letters of cursage? Has grieve arrived at his door, or has disappointment rained down on his weary head? Or is it happiness that has filled the heart of stone to exhale a four letter word that is related to shagging?

Er... none of them, really. It's some word trickery that I have failed to cast on your humble self... let me explain...

F - Yaba Daba Doo.

If you aren't well educated in the world of cricket, one of England's best players is Andrew Flintoff, which his nickname is Freddie... see the connection?... Freddie? Fred Flintstone?... Yaba daba doo?... forget it.

Anyways, the fifth and final test of the Ashes finished. To my surprise - oh, and by the by, I'm starting from the beginning then to the end - England racked up a rather impressive first innings score of 300-odd, considering they were bowled all out for 102 in the fourth test, shocking. Then, they proceeded to do to Australia what the Aussies done to the English...

Australia, 160, all out.

I looked at that, thinking, 'someone must've missed out a digit before that'... 160! Jeeez... I'm not sure if that's worse than England's 102-odd all out in the fourth test.. Why? Well, England had their problems, like Freddie being out, and Pieterson, though he's going from bad to even badder. Though, I believe the Aussies had their problems, they still had their main batsmen (who are some of the best in the world, may I add). Then, England's second innings was over 300 declared, meaning they were 500 or so runs ahead. I can't remember a time when England had a better time to win the Ashes than this time, but aye, Australia was shy of a win by 197 runs. Gutting for the Aussies. Happy days for England, and Freddie. His last ever Ashes sees a win for England, nice knowing you, dude. =).

Oh, as well, I'm going to get the Ashes Cricket 2009 game soon, because I am a sad child who enjoys cricket and golf games on the XBox 360. =).

U - Unseen Footage.

This, dare I say it, is ironic. I'm probably wrong, in the definition of 'ironic'.

One word of advice, I have to ITV....

Please, stop putting on 'The X Factor' every night, it get's slightly on people's collective tits after the first show. I've had enough of, for one, repeats of the same show, on different channels, even though they've utilised the good old fasion of 'copycat-ism' and got ITV-Player, in which, I believe, holds the show for over a week? So why bloody bother? Then there's Xtra Factor. Again, this is repeated more times than the amount of series of X Factor put together. And this is the TV we're going to get from ITV until Christmas? The same digested drivel followed by the same digested drivel, only with added undigested drivel? Pathetic.

And it's not only the X Factor to blame. But yes, it's ITV.... Stop, please stop. Oh, how I beg of thee to stop showing highlights of a football match that you've shown live coverage of before the news started. I mean, I can't imagine a more idiotic thing in my life, and I've seen screenshots of the new DJ Hero. Why not stick it on one of the other ITV channels. Though ITV1's for the main shows. ITV2's your 'gossip and comedy' zone (which, BBC3's better... well, for the comedy anyways). ITV3's the drama side with ITV4 being added for, I presume, sport. There you go, put it on that fucking side. Oh, and by the ways, I'd be saying this if it was a Chelsea game also, or Arsenal... and definately Manchester United....

Anyways... on to calmer things...

C - 'Oh, The Light Brings The Olive Tree Into Perspective Soooo Dramatically...'

If you haven't guessed what it is yet, it's creativity... I know, I could just say it, but meh, I tried to make you think... guess I failed you...

Anywho....

I've had an urge to start making (or, should I say, 'attempt to make') desktop backgrounds for... well... desktops... er.... Ahem. Yeah, desktop background. I think they've started dubbing it desktopography. Oh yeah, soooo imaginative. I love the way they haven't used all the vowels... sooo post modern...

Anyways, I've tried doing some before, though they were only really for my use. Only because I kept putting CrazyDistortion on my name. I won't stop doing that though. Somewhere, be it small or the main thing in the piece, CrazyDistortion will be present on the work. Call it my calling card, or watermark. I only really started using CrazyDistortion for practicing typography skills (which, even though it's the easiest part of digital imagery skills, is my strongest section), like the thing I made for the bottom of my blog (I think it's still there). Though, I want to start doing ones with people... and that's where I'm stuck...

I figured, that if I was going to do this, it'll be better to use images of bands, famous people, or models that are royalty-free, than to ask people 'can I use this to make a wallpaper'. Because I've recently started to realise how much of a pervert I sound asking it. I mean, I find it easier doing images of girls (please, don't take that in the wrong way...), because... er... I dunno. It just seems more natural. If I do an edit of a male, it don't feel right. Especially if it's me. I've only edited like, three images of me. Ah well. Anyways, on I go with my thing. In a new paragragh... which will start....

Now. So yeah, the problem is, the only one I see possibilities for a desktop background is Hayley Williams from Paramore. Oh, that link on her name is to one of her that I done a while back. It's okay, just not really happy with how the text came out. Thing is, also, I bet if you say 'Paramore' to someone in the emo-scene scene (and no, I don't have a fetish for repetition, nor for repeating things), they'd say 'Hayley Williams' or 'Misery Business'. So, I feel if I do desktops of her, then I'm basically saying Paramore's a one (wo)man band. But, to be fair, the others aren't bad either. The drummer's not bad at doing his banging. Neither are the two guitarists and bassist. Now, it also makes me feel bad that I've mentioned the whole band, and only named the singer. I do (kinda) know the names of the other ones, I'm just unsure who plays what. Though I think Zach plays drums, with his brother playing lead guitar. And someone called Jeremy on bass... that's about it. Anyways. Anyone got any inspiration for different styles for my to try out? Or even different people to edit? Though, one thing I must mention...

I have a problem. Yes, problem is my middle name. So is 'meh'. Anyways. If any of you say 'MEGAN FOX!! OMGODZZZ I WANNA XYLOPHONE HER SOOO BADZZZ MEGALOLZZ', then, a, you need help making your Caps Lock key unsticky (may I add, stop wanking over her. Pervert... =P). And b, er... how do I say this without being bulldozed by a trillion daggers thrown from the readers eyes... er... No offence dudes... but she's kinda overated. And, to me, I don't really see the attractiveness other people can. I mean, yeah, she's pretty and all, but I wouldn't want say 'I'd tap that like a Van Halen solo'. And, I just realised that for the first time in my blog... I talkted about the attractiveness of a girl (well, a woman... y'know what I mean like). Weird...

Well, I think I went a long time on the subject of the letter C... and no, it's not the rhyming slang for James Blunt...

Last but not least...

K - 'Haha. Rofl. Epic Failzzz'.

Again, let me link it up for you...

Text speak > Talking to people > Having fun > Games > Online games > XBox 360.

No? You don't see it either... good.

Anyroad, it's about the joys of the 360. Well, I say joys...

I mean, not only can you create your own avatar on XBox Live (I've been verbally attacked by my sisters... they keep saying that it looks like a girl... I thought it matched my hair better with that hairstyle... ah well, not changing it...), but you can buy things for it with microsoft points?

*Epic jaw drop*

I mean, how many ways does Microsoft have to swindle people out of money? Grrrrrrrr. Ah well...

I do have another question... is it true that Sky (of some sorts) is coming to 360? I know that FaceBook, Twitter and Last.fm might turn up there, but will Sky TV? And if so, would it be for Gold membership users only? If so... I might get gold... YEY. Well, considering Sky TV is like twenty quid a month, and Xbox Live is £34 a year? And the ability to play online games? Result. =).

Oh yeah, have you seen the new PS3 Slim? Er... nice idea, but nah.... I'm okay with my (se)Xbox 360. =).

Well, well, well. And no, I'm not online after falling down a well...

That shall be the end of the post... and the well's also.... for now...

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

S'laterzzzz.

- Fin.

'Hope This Ain't Classed As Emo'.

I had an odd day yesterday.

It involved a loving twenty-six (ish) hours of awakeness, which started at roughly four, five on the day of the AS level. I managed to beat VeJay Singh in match-play for the first time (his digital skill has a lot to be desired... aspecially because I play on a rather easy dificulty, I suck at many games...). In to time whatsoever it was time for me to hop into my sister's car to go to get the letters. But before that...

Six in the morning. I loaded up the house computer. Waited effing ages for AOL to load up (word of advice... if in doubt, DO NOT FUCKING GET AOL. Man...). Once I did, I went on the Edexcel website. There was (and, I guess, still is) no login section. I spent like, twenty minutes, looking for the poxy thing. Then a brainwave hit me, like, well, a brainwave coming to me. All I had to do was go on the registration page, then change the URL from studentregistration to login. Man, if that's the only thing that I can give to the world... it's that. God help the world.... Well, anyways. I logged in (after having a bugger of a time with the password) and then a lovely screen came up. It had my marks for both coursework and exam paper results for Music Technology.

And, I believe it's a triumph, of sorts.Well, considering that the teacher had no idea what we were supposed to do. But hey. I managed to get a D overall for it. Though, I had a bloody C for my exam, if I had three more marks, I would've had a C overall. A BLOODY C. Ah well, there's next year...

Reached school at nine, with my sister and Ricky in the car. He was stating the obvlious, as always - well, he points at a car, and says 'car' - and then I left them to walk around while I went to get my science results...

Already, people were going YEY or NEY on what they got. The deputy headmaster gave me my results, and low and behold, my prediction of no E's was true...

I had a D overall in Chemistry (despite a massive cock-up involving an unclassified in Chemistry 2). And a C overall in Physics. Once again, the best subject is Physics. If you didn't know, in GCSE year, I only had one A, and that was in Physics. And, saying 'I only had one A', I don't meant that in a 'oh, look at me with my A in Physics', it compares with the majority being C's. So yeah, C-D-D overall, not bad... but by God, it could've been a lot better...

Nothing really happened during the day after that. Managed to infultrate some military bases on Prototype, and if I haven't said it before, get it. =). Anyroad, just vegged out really after that, though I've recently had an urge to get Ashes Cricket 2009 (because I'm too shit to play it in real life). Then, once the night dawned (which, I believe, doesn't make sense), and I went to bed, I couldn't sleep. Why's that? No clue.

But, for some reason, I started to sing a song, in bed. Why? Once more, I have no clue. Though, I never heard the lyrics before... so, I kinda made up a chorus-esque part of a song (which, when I was singing it in my head, sounded rather like Rise Against). And on the same piece of paper, I wrote 'Hope this ain't classed as emo'. and 'Yeah, don't ask' on the top. I would put it here, but since I know it's ten times worse than shaite and I expect everyone will shun me for three eternities and a decade. Then, I couldn't sleep, or I did, but I woke up oddly and I 'looked confused' (see, eye witness there). So I stayed up all night, watching things made by Gordon Ramsey. Lovely.

Nothing else to add... apart from this...



This is a single (not the music video) of Alive by Pearl Jam. One word, my friend, bloody brilliant. Yeah, it's that good, it breaks the one word rule. The first time I heared this, I thought this was one of their newer songs, and I found it weird when I realised this was one of the songs an Ten, an album that is considered one of the best Grunge albums, even beating Nirvana's Nevermind - I personally like Ten more than Nevermind, no idea why... - and yeah, wait until the solo at the end. It scared the shit out of me when I found out he (no idea who done the solo, sorry) done this in one take. No breaks. Bloody hell... But anyways, Eddie Vedder (lead vocals/lyricist) is amazing... if only I could write something that's a tenth of the goodness this song is...

Ah well.

- Fin, but not Finito.

Fuck It, I'm Off To Prague...

No idea where the title came from. I just thaught of it when I was looking at a blog that showed the best designs for a live CD cover, or something like that. Man, if only I can write lyrics... well, if only I could bloody play anything good...

If you didn't know, tomorrow is the joyous day of A level results day. It is also the day the half-lifes get their results (that is, the AS'ers... if only there was an R in there...). Most of the reactions of this pleasant day is this...

'FUCK I ARE NREVEOUS LOL'

Er, lol?

Anyways, once again I face ridicule as failure draws closer than ever before (well, maybe it's because it's only like twelve hours til results day). And once again, there is no nervous nerve in my body. No shaking in my boots - well, maybe it's because I haven't worn shoes for the past week - nothing. I don't want this to be shown as confidence. Fuck, I'm more confident pissing in a public toilet than I am in these results. I just see it as another piece of paper, with whatever mark I've had for the four horsemen of the apocolypce.. sorry, I meant papers (just to recap, I sat Chemistry 2, Music Technology and Physics 1 (resit) and 2). But then again, if I do manage to beat my estimations (which is a low C in Chemistry, a D/E in both Physics papers and an E in Music Tech), I'll be happier than a man who realised what his thingy was for (yes, for pissing).

Anyroad, nothing else to report, really. Still haven't beat [Prototype] yet (I suck, to be fair). I've only had one critique on my designs (merci, RuhBuhJuh). Learned the rhythm guitar to Decode (as I'm expecting people's reaction to be 'sad Twilight lover', I've never read the books, nor watched the movie, I just like the song, ya?) and actually tried to make a slap-bass version of That's What You Get (I've kinda gone Paramore mad in the recent days, I blame the Ignorance video...). Though, I hope that saying I figured out a 80's-esque riff on the guitar. It's a typical riff (like, you're expecting the changes like), and if I figured it out before I submitted my No Angel I'd probably have a different intro. But yeah, Muse has like implanted a supermassive blackhole (yeah... sad child) in my brain and now the only bass songs I want to learn are theirs. Pity that they're too fucking good for me... Man, how I suck. Can only scrape through Hysteria intro. Ah well, that's what YouTube is for...

Oh, and I've got a feeling that I'm not going to do good with my personal statement... or maybe I should take extracts from my blog... what d'you think?

- Fin, m'love.